Happy Holidays!

>> Thursday, December 18, 2008

I know its a bit early, but as I am officially on vacation as of this afternoon, I don't know how frequent this will get updates until after the 1st of the year. I am getting to go spend almost 2 weeks in Arizona with my family and celebrate the holidays there which I am really looking forward to. Apparently my nephew is ready to 'Rock Out!', which is his code for playing Rock Band 2 with me.

I know I said I don't like holiday work parties, but there are exceptions to that rule. Today work put on a killer spread for all the employees. Homemade mashed potatoes and gravy, stuffing, turkey, prime rib, salads. Awesome desserts. They were wandering around giving away frozen turkeys. Everyone got a gift certificate for free gas and cookies to take with them too. It was a great lunch and we all ate too much. Nap time now methinks.

We are in for a major winter storm tonight according to the weather channel which will make shuttling my son around for his last basketball game of the year, home for a quick shower and dinner and then into nice clothes for his winter music performance quite an adventure. 6-12 inches of snow being forcasted. Another winter storm predicted for Saturday too, which I am really hoping doesn't affect my travel plans for Sunday.

So, if I don't get around to posting, I wanted to wish everyone a happy holiday season. I hope you enjoy your time with family and friends. Travel safe.

/cheers!

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Humbug Indeed

>> Monday, December 15, 2008

Around the office I have a reputation as a Scrooge. The one who doesn't like the office celebration type crap. Its well deserved I suppose. I hate potlucks. I despise office secret santa exchanges. The idea in general of office celebrations bugs the crap out of me. If there are people at the office I want to spend that kind of time with, I'll make arrangements to do it outside of work. Why should I be forced to be 'festive' around people I wouldn't spend time with at all were it not for the fact that they work in the same department I do?

I just don't understand how me buying a $15 gift for some random person at the office in any way makes the holiday season better. Especially in a year where the economy is like it is and some family and friends have agreed to forgo exchanging gifts this year to ease the holiday stress.

And I still don't like potlucks. Everyone likes to bring in that special 'family recipe' dish that only people forced to eat that crap growing up have managed to acquire a taste for. No.. I don't want to try your Bolivian Yak Nutsack Soup or Fermented Green Bean and Liver Jello. If you insist on doing potlucks, have the decency to bring something people actually want to eat. Save your unique crap for people that have no choice but to be polite and eat that crap because its tradition or something.

If you want to celebrate the holiday season.. lets go out and get a couple of beers. Hell alchohol makes dealing with any office function much easier.

Enough scrooge ranting for now though. I watched Christmas Vacation with the boys this weekend. One of our holiday favorites. My brother and sister-in-law came over on Sunday for an epic marathon of Rockband 2. We managed to complete all 86 songs in the Endless Setlist 2. It was about 7 hours straight playing. We had 5 people so we were able to rotate people out for a break here and there. It was long and by the end we just wanted to be done, but it was fun just the same.

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Die Charter Die

>> Thursday, December 11, 2008

I don't have a love / hate relationship with my ISP Charter. I have a hate / want to shank you / incoming shovel to the face relationship with them. I have two options for high speed internet in my area. Charter cable and Centurytel DSL. Centurytel is close to twice as expensive for 1/4 the speed so really, its not much of an option at all. So Charter it is.

For the most part, my internet works fine. Actually, the event that sparked this post, while interent related, wasn't really the fault of my modem at all. I got on last night, fired up Vent (voice chat), started streaming music, connected my IMs and brought up the guild web page. I then went to connect to World of Warcraft. Hmmm.. can't connect. Reboot modem, router and computer. Still nothing. Internet is working fine other than that.

So I start some troubleshooting. As most of you that read this aren't IT savvy, I'll skip most of the details, but I ran a continuous ping to the WoW logon server. This just checks on 1 second intervals to see if it can connect to the server. I was getting 80-90% packet loss. Meaning 1 or 2 out of 10 attempts was actually making it to the server. This does not work well for connecting and playing.

I hopped on charters support page where they have chat based support. I have found this is much faster than jumping through the hoops of the automated phone system. I start up a tech support chat and after a few minutes of pleasntries and verifying who I was, I explained that my tracert showed that the packets were having an issue getting from Charters network onto AT&Ts network. The woman I was talking to didn't even acknowledge that I had spoken and promptly tells me that she has reprovisioned my modem on their end and that all I need to do is reboot everything and I should be all set. I questioned this of course as the problem is not with the modem, but she refused to even talk to me more about it til I had rebooted.

So I went through the whole process again .. and of course the problem was still there. So I hope back on chat and get a different person. The conversation went something like this:

Me: Here's my acct info (blahblahblah). I already talked to someone and went through the reprovisioning, rebooting etc. I am NOT having a modem related problem. I am trying to talking to someone to get an investigation going on a problem with routing from Charter's network to AT&T that is preventing Charter customers from connecting to World of Warcraft servers.

CustomerServiceIdiot2: Do you have a router.

Me: Yes, I have a router. The router and modem are functioning fine however. I am online talking to you via that router and modem. I am streaming music and doing voice chat as well as surfing the web. Its not a hardware problem on my end, its a routing / connectivity issue between Charter and AT&T. I have a tracert I can show you.

CSI2: Sir, I need you to plug your modem directly into your computer to eliminate that as a problem.

Me: To what end? It is not the router. It is not the modem. Its not my computer. If the router was the problem, I would be experiencing packet loss on everything I am doing on through that connection, not isolated to one specific server on the internet.

CSI2: **Stunned silence for over 5 minutes while she furiously googles a response that might sound plausible.**

CSI2: Well see if there is heavy traffic on your through your router it can cause buffer overflows which might cause the kind of problem you are seeing. (*she crosses her fingers and squints her eyes hoping I will buy it)

Me: Yeah.. I don't think...

CSI2: I cannot help you further. Please remove the router and then call tier2 support at xxx-xxx-xxxx aka 1-800-WeRRetarded.


I know that statement doesn't mean much to most of you, but to put it into perspective, it would be much like your mechanic coming out with a bewildered look on his face clearly indicating he has no idea what is wrong with your car and then trying to tell a guy who rebuilds engines for fun in his spare time something along the lines of:

"Well see its your flux capicitor.. it wasn't getting the necessary 1.21 jiggawatts of power which caused it to warp and impinge on the round whirlygiggergizmodoohicky."

Anyway.. after marveling at the level of stupidity .. I called 'tier2' support. Turns out it was the same generic level of support you can get just by calling the usual 800 number. Which means.. if thats considered tier2.. then the idiots that cant even make that level man the chat lines and are probably sharing the same 3 brain cells among the pool of them. You just have to hope that the one you talk to is in current possesion of at least 1 of the 3 aformentioned brain cells.

So I call in.. jump through the hoops .. and after yelling 'AGENT' at the automated system for a few minutes I get to talk to a live human being. I explain everything to her .. offer to send a tracert log to her. She promptly starts to 'reprovision' my modem. I had to tell her to stop. Long story short, she couldn't help me. Her supervisor couldn't help me. None of them at that location were actually allowed to interact with the IT staff that would actually investigate such a problem. The best they could offer me was an email address to send the log too.

After arguing with all these people for over 25 minutes, I finally gave up. I was told to wait 48 hours and try again. I couldn't take it anymore. Someone was going to die if I didn't get off the phone. So I told them I would email the log and that they should review their procedures and be able to transfer a problem like mine to appropriately trained personell in a timely fashion. I was in the process of hanging up politely when I heard:

CSI3: Wait a second please Sir. I notice that you have our 5Mb interenet service. Are you aware that we have a 10Mb service and that currently its only 12 dollars more per month? Also did you know that we have excellent bundle packages to include that 10Mb service as well as digital cable?

Me: Stunned Silence for 30 seconds.

CSI3: Sir are you still there?

Me: Oh I'm here. See I was going to try to end this conversation without getting really upset, but you have made that impossible. Are you SERIOUSLY trying to upsell my account when my interenet connection is not working the way it needs to and you are completely unable to even understand what I am talking about much less be able to fix it or get me in touch with someone how can?

CSI3: Im sorry I can't do more, but are you interested in the 10Mb connection at all?

Me: What the hell? You are still trying to sell me a bigger package when you know I can't do what I want to do on the current one? So I get the 10Mb service and I can get stuck not connecting to the WoW servers.. ummm.. twice as fast? Are you seriously forced to try and upsell someone even when you know its a horrible idea at the time? Are you going to get fired if you don't?

CSI3: Im sorry.. is there anything else

Me: Look, I hate to rage on you because I know the policies are set for you. But use some common sense. If a customer is already upset over your companies ineptitude and inability to even get started investigating a problem, why on earth would said customer want to buy more services. That has all the tact of walking up to a widow walking out of a funeral for her husband and asking if you can have dibs on his big screen TV.

CSI3: Im sorry..

Me: Incoming yule log to the face. As I know you obviously weren't smart enough to realize what a crappy situation you were getting into with this job and their lack of technical knowledge and training, I shall only beam you once. Your supervisor is getting have a dozen whacks to the cranial region. I will then give him a yule log of his own that he can pass along said message to those responsible for the tragedy that is Charter tech support.


Ok.. so I the last line didn't really happen. It went more like **click** as I hung up the phone on her. I was thinking it though. Seriously.. it would have been just as effective if they set up a monkey at the zoo on tech support. Put a poster on the wall outside his cage with options like "reprovision modem" and "blame router" or "reboot computer". Then give the monkey big piles of poo and let him just go to town. Any square that get his by poo is what is given to the customer to try as a 'fix'.

I have had to call Charter tech support probably a dozen times over the years and not once have I had contact at the help desk with anyone I would say is even remotely knowledgeable in the area. They are clearly reading scripts and following a few procedures they know how to do but don't understand. Its maddening how frustrating it is dealing with them.

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I hate my life...

>> Monday, December 8, 2008

Please read this disclaimer before you email, call, txt, IM or otherwise try to contact me. I do NOT actually hate my life. I am fine, things are fine and all is well. Read the post before jumping to conclusions. :P

There is a song I head a couple nights ago that I just had to get and give another listen to. It's called "I Hate My Life" by Theory of a Deadman. What got me about this song is its catchy.. very catchy.. and yet its a guy basically bitching about all thats wrong in his life and how much he hates his life. Its almost like you take a morose country song's lyrics and put it to a upbeat, catchy rock tune. I love it. So many things in the song just crack me up. Here is the song.. the video is just a slide show as I can't find the actual video, but the song is right:



Lyrics like:
I hate all of the people
Who can't drive their cars
Bitch you better get out of the way
Before I, start falling apart

or

Well I hate my job, all my rich friends
I hate everyone to the bitter end
Nothing turns out right, there's no end in sight
I hate my life


I don't know.. they crack me up and I can relate at the same time. There are certainly days when I feel like nothing is going right. There are days when I road rage at the stupid people who can't drive to save their lives. Days when crap is coming down at work.. or in my personal life that makes me feel overwhelmed and that is when I start feeling the desire to pummel people about the head and neck reason with object like shovels and frozen turkeys.

Really though, in general I am a very easy going, happy person. I like my life. I just have those moments, as we all do, where you just want to go "WHAT THE FUCK?!?!" People, events .. that set you off or make you hate your life at that point in time. It happens. Things you think are going well, change. Stuff you expected to go one way, go another. Unexpected things that you just REALLY didn't need to happen right then. That's life unfortunately.

So to clarify and allay my mother's fears, I am fine. Things are good. I am happy. I just happen to love this song and had to share. Enjoy.

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In shock

>> Wednesday, December 3, 2008

So my Xbox 360 died. Surprisingly enough, it wasn't the Red Ring of Death, which is the Xbox version of the blue screen of death for Windows. The DVD drive started making horrible noises when it was spinning up a disc and it was no longer able to read the games. This of course happened ON Thanksgiving.

Now when I bought my 360, Best Buy asked me as they always do if I wanted the 2 year in-store replacement warranty. Normally I don't bother with this kind of thing. The technology gets faster and cheaper so quickly that if you get year out of something its probably cheaper and better to buy a new one when it dies than it would have been to spend the extra on the warranty and get it replaced. There are a few items however that its worth putting this protection on. The 360, which is notorious for RROD and other problems, is one of those. So I paid the extra 30 bucks for the 2 year warrant figuring that if I had to pay insured shipping back to Microsoft if there was a problem, it was going to be close to that anyway.

So, I was happy in the fact that I knew I could just take my 360 down to BB and get it exchanged. Problem was it was T-day, so BB was closed. Also, since it was T-day, it meant the following day was Black Friday.. and there was no way in hell I was going anywhere near the mall on that day. So we had to wait til Saturday. I called though to ask what was involved and I was told to just bring my 360 down with the warranty receipt and they would take the hard drive off my old one and put it on a new 360 for me. So thats what I did.

I got there on Saturday and waited about 10 minutes in line. I got to the counter, explained the situation, and the conversation with the girl goes like this:

BBGirl: I need all the cords so we can test it and duplicate the problem.

Me: You need my specific cords? I was told on the phone to just bring the unit.

BBG: Yes, we need your cords to hook it up to test it.

Me: Are you trying to tell me that in all of Best Buy there is not ONE set of Xbox 360 cords that you can use?

BBG: No, we don't keep them around.

Me: You have at least 75 360s under the counter here.. right by my knees and if you are replacing my unit you are going to have to crack open a box anyway. Can you just use the cords from one of those to test it?

BBG: You have to bring your own cords sir so we can hook up your 360 and test it before we can replace it with the warranty.

Me: Ok, I will go home and get all the cords and accessories. Oh, and my you find a growth on you that not even the vast knowledge of science can identify. I will also bring back with me a Yule Log. Being that I am trying to stay with a festive holday theme, I can no longer use a frozen turkey to pummel you about the head and neck region and I will instead use a yule log. Not as quite as satisfying as a shovel, but hey, tis the season!


Ok, I didn't really threaten to beat her with a stick.. but I wanted to. I angrily drove back home to pick up all my cords. This time I brought EVERYTHING. Cords, manuals, headset, network cord, controllers, box, original packaging. EVERYTHING. I even brought one of my 360 games to test with in case BB decided to claim they didn't have any 360 games in the store to use either.

Stood in line .. again. Different girl this time. She took my 360 back to be tested. I told her what was wrong with it. She apparently didn't tell the tester so he hooked it up, turned it on and was playing with the menu system. Well that was of course working fine since it was a DVD drive problem. So he comes over and tells me its working fine. I gave him my game and told him to try and play it. 5 minutes later he comes back and tells BBG2 (Best Buy Girl 2) that the drive is indeed bad and will need to be replaced.

So here is the conversation with BBG2:

BBG2: Ok, if you will grab me one of the 360s under the counter there, I'll get going on the swap for you.

Me: You mean you have 360s right here? Oh wow.. you have a LOT of them. Right here at the testing / exchange are. Convenient. Here you go.

BBG2: *scans new 360* Ok.. looks like the price has dropped on these. In order to do this right, we'll have to do a refund on the original unit, prorate the warranty and then basically "sell" you a new one and put the warranty on that unit.

Me: Whatever you have to do, just make sure I get my original HD on the new unit so I don't lose my downloaded content for Rock Band.

BBG2: No problem, I will have them do that when he bring is over here. Lets get this switched out. *works her magic*

BBG2: Ok, with the unit being cheaper now, that lowers the cost on the 2 year replacement plan. So I am going to have to give you store credit for the difference on the 360 and the lower cost on the replacement plan. You will have a gift card for 51 and change.

Me: So, to clarify, you are giving me a new 360 with my HD on it AND 51 bucks on a gift card?

BBG2: Yep, you will have a whole new unit, so you'll have all new cables, controller etc. as well. Also, since we basically sold you this unit today, you get a full 2 years on the replacement plan on this new unit.

Me: *stares .. patiently waiting for the punch line*

Me: Am I being punked? Where's Ashton? Is he behind the counter?

I couldn't believe it. Other than being misinformed about the need to bring EVERYTHING with me. The procedure took less than 20 minutes and I had a brand new 360 with my HD on it, a new 2 year warranty on said unit, all new accessories and cords, and a 51 dollar gift card. Needless to say, I decided that BBG2 was my new favorite person and I gave the Yule Log to G to hold as we weren't going to need it after all. So we took that gift card and went and picked up the new wireless drum kit for RB2 as once again our RB1 drum kit had broken.

So there we are at the register. I show here all the warranty and replacement documentation for the 360 I have and then she rings up my new drum kit. She jokes about how she is seeing a lot of those being sold both for the fact that its wireless now for RB2 and because the drum kits have a horrible track record for breaking. She rings it up, applied my 51 bucks that was on my gift card and then looks at me and says "Would you like a 2 year replacement plan on this drum kit? It's 12 bucks, but I highly reccomend it as they only have a 90 day warranty and are known to break pretty often".

I couldn't believe it. I didn't even hesitate. The only thing that is more prone to breakage than the 360 itself is the Rock Band instruments. I have been through 2 drum kits already for the original game. I know people who have been through 4 and 5 kits in a year. After my 360 replacement experience, I knew the extra 12 bucks was well worth it to be able to just come in and swap the drums out should they break.. which is quite likely in the next two years. And hell, when they drop in price I can make money on the deal again. :P

Now don't get me wrong, normally those warranties are a waste of money and unecessary, but they can be good values on the right items. So we went home happy and the boys and I rocked out on our new drum kit which is killer by the way. The kit is at least 50% quieter, more repsonsive and has a METAL bass pedal. It's wireless and the pads are velocity sensitive, meaning they play quieter when you are tapping them and will give you loud pounding drum sounds through the game if you are wailing on them. Very cool.

So I left BB a satisfied customer. G looks at me and says what am I supposed to do with this log? I thought how dissapointed I was that I didn't get to try out my new seasonal beat stick, so we went to the movie gallery and asked if they had any employees that like and would reccomend a movie with Kirsten Dunst in it. I am happy to report that while a tad on the unwieldy side, the yule log is an effective melon smasher. Sure, it wasn't Snaggletooth herself, but I considered it a step in the right direction if there is one less delusional person in this world telling people that she is a good actress.

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Thats gonna sting...

>> Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Its winter here in the midwest. That means of course cold weather. Its really too cold to just 'be' outside. Sure the kids can still get bundled up and go play in the snow when its here, but its not the same. So here comes thanksgiving day. My brother and sister-in-law were gracious enough to host us at their place for t-day this year and so as we were getting things ready to go, the boys said they were going to go outside til I was set. So they go out with just jackets on .. no hats.. no gloves etc.

About 10 minutes later they come in. Their cheeks are all red. Their noses were red. B puts his cold hands on my head.. and they were indeed freezing. Not to be outdone, but convinced of his own cleverness, his brother doesn't try to put his cold hands on me, he instead puts his hand up and says 'HI FIVE'....

*pause for effect*

For those of you that have never left the desert and don't know what happens when your skin is very cold... it gets itchy, tight and above all else, hurts like a mother if it gets hit hard. So there is G .. sure of his own genius.. standing there with his hand in the air waiting for my high five. He was convinced that I would hit his hand and the cold from his skin would be unbearable for me and he would have his smug victory.

That didn't happen however. I, being wise in my years, was way ahead of him. I was already thinking about giving their frozen earlobes a good flick just for fun, but this presented a far superior option. Queue the Todd:



I gave him a high five like no other. Sure.. I know you are saying that it was mean. Or cruel. But really, no lasting harm was done and it was beneficial for all parties involved. It was immensely entertaining for B and I, and G got a good life lesson! It was tough love for sure, but that is the kind of caring parent I am.

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Give me a break..

>> Wednesday, November 26, 2008

I should warn you now .. you might find this post offensive. If you have delicate sensitivities, stop reading.

On CNN I stumbled across this article. The short version of this story is that a 13 year old girl had a myspace page and a 49 year old woman created a myspace page pretending to be a 16 year old boy that was a love interest for this girl. The 'boy' eventually spurned the girl via myspace and she commited suicide over it.

The woman is "charged with one count of conspiracy and three counts of accessing protected computers without authorization to obtain information to inflict emotional distress on Meier, who is identified in court documents as M.T.M. Each count against Drew would carry a maximum penalty of five years in prison upon conviction."

The whole situation is pretty fucked up honestly. Why a 49 year old woman would go to the lengths of creating a fictitious myspace page to pretend to be a 16 year old boy to spurn this girl.. I have no idea. Obviously she has some serious issues she needs to deal with. I have to ask as a parent though.. why does your 13 year old girl have a myspace page? If for some reason you decided this was ok.. how are you not monitoring it? Even if you think its ok and don't think you need to monitor it at all for your 13 year old girl.. how the hell do you not talk to her about the dangers of the internet and make sure they know not everything can be taken at face value?

My problem with this whole thing is that this woman, who is decidedly screwed in the head, is being brought to trial on some pretty weak technicalities because of the fact that the girl commited suicide. Was the woman wrong to do what she did? Absolutely. Should she be pummeled about the head and neck region with a 24lb Butterball? You betcha and I get dibs! This should not be the huge trial that it is though regardless of how fucked up the situation is.

Its the internet people. THE INTERNET. I have a news flash for you in case you are new to the internet. NOT EVERYTHING ON THE INTERNET IS TRUE. Let me give you an example with the following statement:

I am devestatingly handsome and I recently had a threesome with Salma Hayek and Megan Fox.

See what I mean? Only half of that statement is true. I'll let you figure out which half though. Just because I posted it on the internet doesn't make it true. Although if Salma and Megan are reading this and want to make the statement valid.. you know where to find me!

My point before I got off on a pleasant tangent there is simple. That girl, as tragic as her suicide is, had much larger emotional issues than this myspace situation. The myspace thing is a scapegoat. People are looking for someone to blame for the tragedy that is a 13yr old commiting suicide. That doesn't make it right.

Everyone goes through the trauma of being rejected. Having their heart broken. Being manipulate and used. I know my kids are going to go through it. I have been through it. I also am very confident that when it happens they are not going to think the world is over and feel like they need to take their own lives over it. I can't even imagine what that girls parents are going through, but that doesn't make it right to try to pin the blame on one persons actions.. even as retarded and nauseating as they were.

I am all for letting the parents vent some anger and use those little frozen cornish game hens to 'stone' her in a public setting as punishment for her stupidity and then commiting her to an institution to deal with her issues. Pinning the girls suicide on false representations of a myspace page on the internet sets a scary precedence.

I have seen and/or been involved in some pretty fucked up situations revolving around people creating false identities on the internet over the years. One was rather recent and affected not only myself, but several other people I know well. I am not going to go into details, but let it suffice to say that the things this individual said and did were far, FAR worse than misrepresenting themselves on a myspace page. As fucked up as the whole situation was, no one commited suicide over it. Everyone lives, learns and moves on. We try to forget the shitty things that happen and focus on the good things.

It would be a different story if the woman had tried to convince the girl to commit suicide. If there was evidence she was trying to get the girl to do that, maybe this would have more of a leg to stand on. This is just people looking for a scapegoat.. for someone to blame in a tragic situation.

As tomorrow is Thanksgiving and the chances of me posting on a holiday and a day off are slim, let me wish you all a happy turkey day. I hope you all enjoy the time you get to spend with family and friends. Remember to take a minute and think about the good things in your life and be thankful for those people that are there for you, who love you, and make you happy. Those are the things to dwell on.

/cheers
/turkeycoma ON

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The holiday season approaches.

>> Tuesday, November 25, 2008

With Thanksgiving only a few days away and xmas right around the corner, I am reminded of one main thing about the holidays. I don't like people. No.. not you. Well unless I don't like you.. in which case, yes.. you. In general though, people turn into complete idiots when the 'happy holidays' roll around.

You know the people I am talking about. Even if you gloss over it and pretend they are not there.. they are. You know.. the jackasses that will cut you off in an icy parking lot to be 3 spots closer to the door at the mall. The people who will take an item out of your cart when you are not looking because they want that for their niece but you too the last one. The people who are rude to the poor checkout person who has been dealing with assholes all day just because an item didn't ring up correctly and it takes an extra 30 seconds to fix it.

I have always found it ironic how a season that is supposed to be happy and joyous often brings out the worst in people. A season that is supposed to remind everyone to be thankful for what they have. A season that is supposed be about giving. Yet a good portion of the population runs into the holiday season and treats its like a bully that is trying to steal their lunch money. It becomes an angry, stressful time. They go at the holiday season like something they have to beat, to win at. They have to beat that bully. They will not be given a swirly by the force that is xmas this year!

Why? Why look at the holidays this way? Its supposed to be about enjoying time with family and friends. Its supposed to be a time to reflect on the past year and your ups and downs. Its a time to look forward to the upcoming new year and what that might bring. Stop stressing about finding the perfect gift. Stop getting worked up over all the things you feel you have to get done for things to go perfectly this year. You know what? If you don't get a card out to your college roommate's sister's great aunt that you met that one time, the world will go on. You are not a bad person.

I would like to point out though that this "don't stress" rule does not apply when it comes to making holiday baked goods to send to me. As I am baking impaired, I rely on the generousity of others for holiday goodness. :P

I am a big fan of shopping over the internet. Sure it appeals to my geek side anyway, but the biggest reason is I don't have to deal with people. I go online, find the item I want and order it. The small shipping costs are totally worth not having to deal with the tools I talked about above. 3 minutes ordering online or hours driving to the mall, parking, fighting crowds, hoping they still have what you want.. no thanks. If you really think about it.. its cheaper to shop online anyway. Between gas driving to and from the store and the alchohol you must purchase to drink away the stress of dealing with idiots at the stores, are you really saving anything shopping locally? I think not.

For the record, it is NOT cool to start playing xmas music full time before Thanksgiving is over. You have a month afterwards, there is no reason for it before turkey day is done. Just don't. My turkey may be thawing, but I am willing to bet it will still hurt like a mofo if I hit you in the face with it. Just leave the xmas music off til afterwards so I don't have to hurt you.

I am lucky enough to be going to visit my family again for almost 2 weeks around the holidays. Its a wonderful thing to be able to spend that kind of time with them over xmas and new years. THAT is what the holidays are about.

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I'm the Prince of Darkness Dammit!

>> Monday, November 24, 2008

I talked about the Wrath of the Lich King expansion for World of Warcraft.. and now they released a new commercial with Ozzy that I just found hysterical so I had to share. Even if you don't care about WoW or Ozzy .. its still great. Just watch it.

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Winter Wonderland

So I walk out the door this morning.. running late for work as my alarm never went off and the boys assumed I had the day off so didn't wake me.. and BAM .. white everywhere. It snowed that heavy, wet, thick snow. It covers all the branches on the trees and makes them look super cool. We had a couple inches on the ground.. and my car since I never got around to cleaning my garage this weekend and getting my car in there. Damn you Lich King!

I am not sure why the snow was such a shock to me this morning, but it was. I know its winter time. I know it has been cold enough to snow for a while. But for some reason I totally didn't expect there to be snow out there this morning. I love the first snow of the year. I drove to work enjoying the scenery and my mug full of Icing on the Cake coffee. I turn into a coffee junkie in the winter. Makes the morning drive so much better.

It was a different experience driving to work today. See this is the first time driving in the snow with my new tires. Last winter I drove on tires that needed to be replaced for the entire winter. I know it was stupid and dangerous, but tires for my car are expensive. You know how that kind of thing goes. It got towards the end of winter and I kept thinking I made it this far, no big deal now. My tires had very little tread on them so it was quite the adventure learning how to drive in the snow safely with them. I don't suggest it. :P

Anyway, it was nice having traction in the snow again. I felt much safer driving today. Now all I have to worry about is the idiots in the 4wd trucks that insist they can still do 80 in the snow and ice simply because someone put a sticker that says 4x4 on the back of their truck. It never ceases to amaze me that they have a complete lack of understanding of basic physics. If there is no weight on the back tires on a pickup, there is no traction. Period. It doesn't matter if you have 4wd or not if there is no traction. You will just spin the tires really fast with your big v8 engine.

Normally I would step in here and hit these people in the melon with a shovel. However, in light of the cold weather, snow, and impending thanksgiving holiday I have changed my mind. No, I haven't turned over a new leaf, I am just trying to get into the holiday spirit and thus have shelved my shovel. Instead, I will hit them in the face with a frozen turkey.

This idea came to me when we got our free turkeys from work the other day. It was in one of those convenient net carrying bags with a handle. As I was walking out to my car with it swinging, I thought to myself that I was basically carrying a 20lb rock with a convenient handle for swinging it...at the melon of annoying people. How festive is that!?

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Wrath of the Lich King

>> Friday, November 21, 2008

Most of you that read this probably don't know what I am even referring to much less care about an expansion for an online MMORPG, but this is my blog.. so deal. I have been looking forward to this expansion for quite sometime. I am going to delve into the game design behind MMOs and maybe explain to someone who doesn't play, why I was excited about this expansion.

I have run an online gaming guild for about 10 years now. We have played many different games over the years finally ending up in World of Warcraft (WoW for short) and Warhammer Age of Reckoning (WAR for short). Some of the folks playing WAR have come back to WoW for the expansion.

One of the things that keeps a game like that interesting is the interaction. Any game gets old fast if you are just playing it by yourself. Its like Rock Band for those of you that have played it. I play it solo every now and then, but that gets old real quick. But get a group of people together to play and its a ton more fun. It's the same way with MMOs. Its the people and the interaction that makes it fun and enjoyable. Most nights we'll have 15-20ish people online and on Ventrilo (voice chat software) joking around and having a good time while playing together.

One of the big things to do in MMOs is raiding. Tackling very tough 'end game' level content together. Over the years we have done everything from massive Relic Raids in DAOC with hundereds of people all the way down to heroic instances in WoW which was limited to 5 people. WoW itself, which is where I have played for most of last few years has undergone changes. They used to have standard 5 man instances and then the big raids were 40 mans. The logistics of running a guild or alliance of guilds as we did, to have that many players available on a given night and then coordinating them all to raid together to accomplish a goal was crazy.

I have been a raid leader, the one calling the shots for just about every game we have played. I enjoy it, but it gets very old having to try and keep 40 people at least semi happy and working well together. It got very frustrating trying to keep track of what 39 other people are doing, where your weak spots were, who was causing the problems, etc. Balancing peoples schedules with raid success. Dealing with conflicts. Mediating arugments over loot drops. On and on.

Blizzard made a change with the last expansion. THey opted to move away from the 40 man raids and made the biggest one 25. Our hope was that with this change we could leave the alliance we had behind and do 25 man content on our own as a guild. We did for a while, making it through Gruuls Lair and parts of Serpentshrine Cavern and Tempest Keep. We just didn't have enough consistency to really move foward past that.

The problem? Logistics plain and simple. My guild is made up of adults for the most part. Older people with jobs and families and commitments other than playing games 24/7. So when we are dealing with everyone scheduling their gaming / raiding time around sports games and piano lessons and meetings and homework and bedtimes.. it just got to be a headache to try and get 25 people together at one time with 4 hours available to try and get some raids progressing through the content.

Now there are the 'hardcore' guilds. People in that stage of life with no commitments, no desire to do anything but raid. And they do. 6-7 days a week.. often 8+ hours a night. My guild has never come close to that nor had a desire too. So where does that leave the 'casual' raider as far as getting to see content? For both the original release and the BC expansion, there were sections of the game we missed out on all together as they required stuff from lower difficulty dungeons we had not yet completed to get into them.

Why should I .. as an adult player, be unable to see content because I cannot commited 50 hours a week to raiding? Why should I be unable to experience parts of the game because I am unwilling to try and handle the logistics of 40/25 person raids? Blizzard finally listened for this expansion. All the 25 man content they are putting in has a 10 man mode as well. Meaning we can experience the content with only having to deal with the logistics of getting 10 people together which is quite reasonable. The loot you get from the 10 mans is a notch lower overall, but that is not a big deal. Its still very good and really its the challenge of the content we are looking for anyway.

Its very interesting at online games become more popular, how gaming companies are adapting their games and actually listening to their player base to an extent. There were many design changes to WoW with this expansion that made things much easier for the casual player / raider. Its welcome news to the majority of the players out there. Hopefully listening to the people playing the games will become the norm and not the exception to the rule.

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So its been a week..

>> Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Its been a pretty crazy week. Last week was a nightmare at work. Some pretty major hardware issues caused a ton of stress, work and late nights. Thursday into Friday for example consisted of about 22 hours of work, 5 hours of driving, a crapload of stress, and a total of about 90 minutes of sleep in very short bursts.. most of the time at my desk at work.

Friday morning after it looked like everything was finally running well and stable again at work, I took off to go home, sneak about an hour of sleep before I showered and went to the airport to pick up a friend who came to town for the weekend. We had a nice relaxing time and as she had traveled all night on a red eye, she was fortunately tired and wanting to sleep too so we spent half of Friday she was here sound asleep in bed. It was needed.. and relaxing. It was a very nice weekend overall despite her claims that she was going to get frostbite in the 20 seconds it takes to walk to the bar and grill behind my house.

Wrath of the Lich King was also released on Thursday, which is something I have been looking foward too. For those of you that don't know what it is, you won't care even when I explain it to you, so I won't wasted your time. I am looking forward to hopefully getting some playing time in this week finally so I can play catchup a bit.

Winter is finally really here. It was 16 according to the guage in my car on the way to work this morning. It's dark when I leave for work and its dark when I get home from work. My agenda for this weekend includes cleaning my garage to be able to park in there again as well as make sure the snowblower is working and accessible.

I have been enjoying going to watch B play basketball. Its his first year and the squad he is on is quite bad. It reminds me how much I enjoy basketball though. We are trying to see if the school gyms are open for practice / free play on the weekends and after games so we can work on stuff. The point guard on his team makes me crazy. He is a horrible player and looks like a long limbed monkey with a balance disorder when he's out there. I lost count somewhere around 20 turnovers this kid had.. in 12 minutes of play. This is the POINT GUARD. The guy who is supposed to be good at handling the ball, passing, and running plays. You could have taken a blindfolded walrus .. put him at point guard... and he would have done just as well swatting the air randomly with his flippers hoping to make contact. He at least would have been more entertaining to watch.

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Its still fun.

>> Tuesday, November 11, 2008

There are certain things that you do when you are younger that seem silly, but bring you great joy. Sometimes as you grow older, those things will pop back into your head and there are even occasions where maybe you cut loose and get a chance to relive one of those things.

For example, I remember when my kids were young, im talking stroller age, I would push them fast towards an obstacle making it look like they were going to smash into it and then swerve at the last second. I remember doing similar things on my bike when I was a kid.. speeding towards a tree lined curve and at the last possible second trying to turn and make the corner. The excitement of almost crashing .. the fear of maybe miscalculating and going head on into the obstacle .. made it fun and exhillerating.

My kids used to giggle and laugh when I did that to them in their strollers, but they outgrew the stroller eventually and I thought maybe I had outgrown that little stunt. Yet when I was in AZ visiting my family, I was pushing my adorable nephew in his stroller when we went to the mall, and instinct kicked in and I was right back at it. Zooming towards a palm tree, or planter, only to swerve at the last possible second to a squeel of giggles from Cade.

Now I am headed to lunch the other day and as I was walking through the main lobby, I see an older couple. The woman is in a wheel chair and the old guy is pushing her towards the buffet, which is lined with those retractable barrier things. Without missing a beat the old guy accelerates right towards one of those barriers. The wife is all wide-eyed and nervous. I thought maybe the guy was having a heart attack and lost control of the wheelchair, but no, he was fine. At the last possible second he spins the wheelchair a bit and they miss the barrier. The woman takes a big breath to relax, but has a grin on her face the same as the old man does. He is quite proud of himself actually.

I chuckled to myself as I went on my way, very happy to find out that some things in live are still fun as you get older.

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Monday Fun

>> Monday, November 10, 2008

So I get into work today, hoping for a nice quiet Monday morning. Go from 3 day weekend to a quiet day to another day off tomorrow for Vet's day would have been perfect. No such luck.

I arrive today a bit before 6am to find my office open already, some lights and computers on and music playing. Odd for 6am on a Monday as I'm usually the first one here. Turns out one of the main revenue generating systems at work was having 'issues'. I get up to speed on what the problems were over the weekend and my coworker that was on call said he has been here since 2am working on it with our vendor.

My immediate supervisor shows up around 6am, which is surprising as he was supposed to be in training this week. He comes over to my desk and says he needs a writeup on how we can move forward very quickly on viruatlizing the servers associated with this revenue generating system. It has been our plan all along, but there have been many difficulties along the way that have pushed it back time and again.

Here's the basics. We want to virtualize the servers so we can fail them over to a remote site quickly and easily should a HARDWARE issue occur. We made it perfectly clear when we requested the money for this project that it only provided us safety from HARDWARE problems. Once more.. HARDWARE only. Meaning if we lost the servers or the server room, we could bring those servers back up at a different location.

Enter in our department head Dedicated Understanding Magnificent Badass Astute Supervisor Stud... or DUMBASS for short. Now let say DUMBASS doesn't have a clear understanding of what this project actually allows us to do. Lets say he only hears "quick failover" out of the whole thing. Instead of getting clarification before making promises.. he decides to just go all out and promise the powers that be that we will never have more than 15 minutes downtime on this system. Ever. Boy.. that is a DUMBASS move to the core if I have ever seen one.

This weekends issues I found out are all software related. So even if we had been setup for failover, the data is replicated realtime. Meaning the same software issues would have existed on the hardware at the remote site if we had failed them over. The issues had to be resolved within the software. It had NOTHING to do with hardware. That didn't stop DUMBASS from cancelling training, pushing the panic button and calling a meeting to discuss how we can fast track a very detailed, risky server and SQL database conversion. Thats always the best choice. If something goes wrong, panic and make snap decisions without thought to the consequences!

There are 3 kinds of bosses. Two of them you can work easily with. The third is a nightmare.

1. Your boss knows as much or more than you. If you boss has a full understanding of what you are working on, he can provide guidance and direction and is easy to discuss things with. Its easier to get support for projects etc.

2. Your boss knows almost nothing about your area of expertise and admits it. This kind of boss will listen and try to follow your explanation. He is smart enough to know he doesn't know much about the topic and knows he hired you for your knowledge in the area and takes your recommendation. He knows his limitations and is willing to let the people who know what they are doing take care of it.

3. Your boss knows almost nothing about your area, but likes to fake it.

This kind of boss does things like:
-Pulls random keywords out of an article on the topic he found on the internet an hour before the meeting.
-Makes your department look like a bunch of circus clowns when he asks questions that don't even belong in the current discussion or asks them in a way that makes no sense
-Likes to ramble on about random topics not related the issue at hand because maybe he knows something about that random topic.
-Likes to offer support and guidance which you must listen to until he lets you leave the meeting so you can ignore said guidance and continue to do it the right way.
-Makes grand assumptions based off of nothing more than a random though that flitted into their head while having a beer the night before.
-Listens to what people have to say and then takes credit for it 2 seconds later with a "Thats what I was thinking last night, but I wanted to see if you would come up with it too"


Yes.. DUMBASS is a fine example of #3. Oh how he keeps life interesting around here. Only problem is.. I work in IT. The ideal situation for your IT staff is to walk into their office and find them all asleep or surfing the web. Oh I know.. as a general rule that is very unproductive. Think about it though. Think of it like you are walking into a nuclear weapon facility. Do you want to see those people running around in a panic? Hell no. You want them half asleep in their chair. That means things are running smooth and there is nothing to worry about. Its the same in IT. We don't want exciting in IT. We want smooth, steady, stable, status quo. Excitement is for after work. We don't need a DUMBASS creating issues for us.

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More Madness

>> Thursday, November 6, 2008

If you haven't seen some of the celebrity costumes from halloween, check them out. Its pretty cool what endless money can come up with for costumes. Some were exceedingly lame, but some were pretty kick ass. Heidi Klum dressed up as the Hindu goddess Kali. Check it out:



Now THAT is a costume that should be winning the costume contest. But her prize did not come without repercussions. Apparently because she is a super model, she offended the entire Hindu nation by dressing as their goddess. A "Indo-American" leader (more on the idiocy of 'Anything-American' in a min) had this to say in a public press release:

"Goddess Kali is highly revered in Hinduism and she is meant to be worshipped in temples and not to be used in clubs for publicity stunts or thrown around loosely for dramatic effects," Indo-American statesman Rajan Zed said.
He added: "Hindus welcome Hollywood and other entertainment industries to immerse themselves in Hinduism, but they should take it seriously and respectfully, and not just use the religion for decoration or to advance their selfish agenda.
"Casual flirting sometimes results in pillaging serious spiritual doctrines and revered symbols and hurting the devotees."

Seriously? Get the fuck over yourselves. You want to tell me that there weren't a whole bunch of people that dressed a Jesus or Buddah or some other religious figure for halloween. How about priests? How many priest costumes or monk costumes or the Pope? Does no one see the irony in what this guys is doing? How does her dressing as Kali "pillage serious spiritual doctrines and hurt the devotees"? Is there suddenly Hindus feeling the need to switch religions because it has been cheapened to a point their faith is not there anymore all because Heidi dressed as Kali?

He lives in a country that guarantees him religious freedom. It guarantees him freedom of speech. Yet he then turns around and feels he should speak on behalf of an entire country's Hindu spiritual body when he says that they are all mortaly offended by a costume that represents one of their deities. All the while identifying himself as a "Indo-American". Hey.. I am going to use my freedom of speech to say.. SCREW YOU BUDDY.

Either you are an American.. or you are not. There is no Indo-African-Jewish-Italian-Irish-Scottish-WestJersey-Compton-DownSouthOnTheChattahoochie-American. Give it a rest. If you live in the US and are an US citizen. YOU ARE AN AMERICAN. Period. If you don't like that.. if you want to be a different person.. then by all means pack your damn bags and move there. Apply to be a citizen and live your life in happiness. Stop calling Obama an African-American. He is a US citizen and thus an AMERICAN. He wasn't born in Africa. He didn't reside there for half his life. He has never applied for dual citizenship with the US and Africa. He is an American same as you, same as me.

I have Scottish, German, Dutch heritage. I don't call myself a Scottish-American despite the fact that I look dashing in a kilt with my killer legs or the fact that I am a big fan of the Braveheart movie. I lived in NY for 11 years.. AZ for about that and now WI. I don't call myself a New York-Arizona-Wisconsin-American because that is where my 'people' are from. Why not? BECAUSE IT'S STUPID. That's why. We don't need this overly political correct bullshit anymore.

Be proud of your heritage, your beliefs, religion, clubs, teams, family, and pets. Practice your rights and rituals and festivals. Do so knowing that you live in a country that protects your right to do just that. Be happy that you live in a country where you can write a blog like this. Where you can discuss and criticize the government without fear of them arresting you and taking you computer like they do in China.

Let poor Heidi dress as a Hindu goddess if thats how she wants to express herself for halloween. If it pisses you off.. dress up as Jesus or some other religious figure and express your displeasure. Don't go to the media with a big damn hissy fit over how a super model is opressing your religion. I'm thinking a good couples costume would be a guy dressed as Jesus and his significant other dressed as a sexy Satan.. they could make out at the party. How cool would that be? We all know women are the root of all evil anyway right? ;P

If that last statement offended you... well then you should probably just turn off your computer.. go listen to some classical music and bury your head in the sand so nothing could possibly offend you and your delicate sensitivies. You know I have an Aunt, who won't read my blog anymore because she is pouting that one family member or another didn't stop to visit on their way through one time, who gets offended over stuff like this. But rest assured she has boycotted my blog as well even though I was not one of the "offenders" so she will not have to endure this post as it would probably make her bleed out of her ears. On the off chance that she still reads it in private.. yes I still let my kids play Halo.. and yet my kids are smart, well adjusted, happy and not prone to killing sprees. So get bent.

And that I guess, is enough of a venomous rant for today. Rest assured dear readers, I am not angry today.. just frustrated with the retards of the world. If you are overly sensitive, hypocritical idiot.. would you would please take a number and line up in a single file, my shovel and I will be with you shortly.

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I don't care.

>> Wednesday, November 5, 2008

I don't care that Obama is the first black president. Honestly, the more I heard on CNN, NBC and every other news program, the more it irritated me. I voted for Obama, but not because I wanted to help make him the first black president. I voted for him because I think he is the best choice to lead our country right now.

I found it rediculous that such a huge deal was made about his race. Yes I know, its a first. Its a long way for the country to come.. blah blah blah. I know minorities came out in record numbers to vote. But you know what? So did the 18-24 year old demographic, and the old people demographic (old people demo.. I crack myself up), and every other demographic. It was a record year for voting, period.

Are there some people who voted for him just because they are a minority and wanted him to win for some kind of vindication for minorities? Im sure there were. The same way I know there is a bunch of KKK redneck hillbillies out there that voted for McCain for the simple reason that they refused to even think about having an black man running the country. Does that mean that the news has to spend hours dwelling on the fact? Focus on what he did, has been doing and will be doing in the future. Look at his gameplan and discuss that. Talk about his goals and stances on important issues.

I don't care that MLK's youngest grandniece's sister's best friend's cousin was overjoyed at the victory this is for 'her people'. I didn't need to see the tears in Jesse Jacksons eyes for 5 minutes on CNN while they discussed why he was in tears. Why can't they let Obama stand on his own as the future leader of our country and start looking at how he is going to change the state of affairs we are in right now.

I watched the speeches last night. I was impressed with McCains speech conceding to Obama. I liked Obama's speech as well. I hope they both meant what they said and I hope the American people can get past the thrill of all the "firsts" of this election and focus on the issues at hand. Democratic majorities in both the house and the senate gives them real potential to get things done. I honestly hope the next 4 years are about trying to turn things around for this country and its economy and not focused on all the wonders of the fact that there is black man at the helm.

Frankly, Obama could grow out a bitchin fro, shave it bald in a strip down the middle and dye each side a different color and wear a pirate costume on tuesdays and casual fridays to the oval office as long as he gets things done and steers us forward in the right direction. All the news organizations had to have 2 or 3 black people on their discussion panels this year. All the shows spent so much time talking about how much this country has changed to be able to elect a black president. If we have changed so much, then why are we talking about the color of his skin at all and not just talking about the fact that he is an American who won the democratic nomination and here is his stand on things.

I don't envy Obama now. He is taking the helm in a time where we are in one of the worst economic climates in a century among other issues like the war in Iraq that is lingering on yet. I hope he is able to lead us to the change that he talked so vehemently about. Wether you voted for him or not, I hope everyone can respect him and support him as the next president of the United States .. and not pidgeon hole him. He's not an african-american.. he is an American. Period. He will not be the first black president, he will be 44th president of the United States. Period. He is a citizen of this country we the people elected to lead us for the next 4 years. Lets just focus on that fact.

My one request to Obama right now.. can we PLEASE keep gas down at 2.25/gal? Much thanks ;)

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Supa dupa clean!

>> Tuesday, November 4, 2008

There are some of you out there.. and you know who you are, who are taking this whole clean and sanitized thing to an unhealthy level. Its an argument I have made for years. You can over-clean. Sanitize and disinfect too much. Keep your kids in sterile environments so much that you are actually hurting rather than helping.

There was a good article on MSN today about this phenomenon. Link here. Basically its talking about how our bodies NEED a lot of the stuff that people are constantly trying to prevent. Sure you don't want to start rubbing raw chicken onto your child, but there is a big difference in watching out for salmonella and making it so that every inch of your house is scoured with industrial strength cleansers that are more dangerous than the stuff its supposedly removing.

Its the same thing with parents that don't want their kids in daycare or in public in general for the simple reason is they don't want their kids to get sick. You can't protect them that way. Putting them in a bubble doesn't help in the long run. Unless they have some physical complication, their bodies are designed to deal with sickness and disease as it encounters it. Sure it sucks when your kids is sick, but sheltering them to the point where their immune system never develops is not helping them in the long run.

Now I'm not saying that keeping a clean house is a bad thing. On the contrary, I like my house clean. I don't however bleach the place every other day. I don't scrub out my shower with super disinfectant and a brillo pad after each use. I don't carry a bottle of hand sanitizer with me just in case I actually have to touch a door handle out in public.

There is someone at work .. and I don't know who.. that irritates the living crap out of me. He uses the restroom by my office. I can only assume he scrubs up afterwards like a surgeon sterilizing before going to cut someone open. Afterwards, he drys his hands and then takes the paper towel with him to the door. He then uses the paper towel to open the door and then leaves it there as he is ducking out quickly so the big scary germs can't catch him. So you made it out safe.. and now the rest of us get a nice wet paper towel left on the door handle? There is no way a warm damp paper towel is going to breed any kind of bacteria or germs right? Right? Get a hazmat suit to walk around in if you are that damn paranoid.

People need to chill the hell out with this stuff. We were all like this once though. Remember back in elementary school where you wouldn't touch the opposite sex for fear of cooties? I suppose its not the same though, because back then you would also drop food on the ground, blow the dirt off and eat it. Kids sneeze on each other, on the playground equipment, on their neighboors grilled cheese sammich. They get cuts and scrapes, let the dirt clot that stuff right up, and keep on truckin.

Oh how times have changed. When I was growing up, my parents would drive for 12 hours with me in my crib they put in the back of the VW Bus they had back then. There are pictures of me freewheeling around the back of this thing as we cruised to Myrtle Beach. Now you have to have kids in a 14 point space shuttle type harness til they are 12. Lawn Jarts was a toy given to kids to play with back then. We quickly determined that the point of the game was to stand in the circle, throw the heavy sharp metal object straight up in the air and then run around and try not to get impaled through the skull. Nowadays parents might as well put their kids in a sanitary sealed hamster ball and let them roll around and bump into the other kids so they can't come in contact with anything bad for them.

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Its that time. Vote.

Its the big day. If you haven't already, get out and cast your vote. Who you vote for is your business and I am not here to sway you one way or the other. Honestly, if you are undecided at this point and are influenced by my blog the day of the election, then maybe you shouldn't vote after all.

My gaming guild has had a couple lengthy threads on our forums discussing the election and candidates and the government in general. We have people from all over the country chiming in with many varied viewpoints and stances. We have quite a few Canadians in the guild as well and its interesting to get their opinions in there as well as an outsider and see some of the comparisons to things going on in their government.

Someone had posted this picture.. and I liked it. Simple and made a very good point.



Does it matter that Obama could be the first president with a skin color other than pale? Does it make him better? Does it make his policies and platform of 'Change' any more potent? Is McCain's choice of Palin as a VP candidate an obvious counter to that as she would be the first woman to hold that office? Does it matter?

People are so focused on all the historical, ground breaking firsts going on in this election. It has a positive effect in that voter turnout is already looking better than it has been in a very long time. As of Monday, 24 million people have voted already with the ease of restrictions on early voting.

All I am hoping is that the majority of the people can look past all the amazing firsts and all the excitement going along with this election and actually vote for the candidate based on his stance on the issues.

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Now THAT's Marketing!

>> Thursday, October 30, 2008

So here at work they have these bulletin boards. You know the kind where employees can put up notices. Stuff for sale, services, pets people want to have adpoted by a loving family etc. I glance at them as I walk bye every day. I can't help it. I don't know why exactly. Maybe I am secretly hoping that someone is going to be selling a 60" HD Plasma TV for $12 and I am the only one that notices the flyer stuck behind some other one that has a used baby high chair for sale. Or it could just be general curiousity. We have a lot of employees here, so the notices are many and varied.

With so many notices up there, you tend to be drawn to pictures and certain words that grab your attention. Today I am walking by.. glancing at the ads like I always do and I stop dead in my tracks. Words had jumped out at me from among the jumble. Want to take a guess on what those words were? No.. sadly it wasn't "Free Plasma TV for anyone with a blog and goes by the name Blade when online". Also as sad, it was not "Salma Hayek is single, thinks you are hot and wants you to have her personal cell phone number". What did catch my attention on a flyer was "Amputated Leg".

I had to stop and say to my self W.T.F.? Who is selling an amputated leg? Is that even legal? Is it like sealed up and laquered? Does it come in a big barrel of formaldehyde? Is there a big market for amputated legs that I am missing out on? I mean I have heard of a black market for kidneys and livers and such, but legs? Think about it.. kidneys are all pretty much the same size, but legs on the other hand.. don't work quite the same way. If you are 5'1" .. which is REALLY short BTW, and the only leg you could get on the black market was from someone who was 6'2", life would be a little, shall we say, lopsided for you from now on.

I had to know more and so I scanned the board and found the ad. Turns out they were NOT actually selling an amputated leg. They were selling power tools. The ad said something like "Must sell power tools as I had to have a leg amputated". Now I SHOULD be feeling horrible right now. None of my thoughts at the time were "Aww .. poor guy. That must suck." In fact my first thought after realizing that it was power tools for sale and not a leg was "Did he require the amputation after a mishap with the power tools?" Followed quickly by "Is he offering a discount for the ones with blood on them?" and "Do you think he got all the chunks off them?"

Ok.. ok. Yes, I am a horrible person, but if he did have an accident with the power tools, those are perfectly legit questions. I also wondered if he really wants to sell the power tools, or if its one of those situations where he has a wife / GF standing over him going "SEEEEEE.. I told you that you shouldn't spend that money on power tools and motorcycles, it was just a matter of time before you hurt yourself. It's all fun and games til someone has to have a leg cut off!" Is he secretly wondering if he could use that band saw to somehow remove her vocal cords?

I didn't look at the prices or what he was selling really because I don't have the space, money or time to make use of power tools right now, but I must say tossing the words "Amputated Leg" in an ad for power tools is a great marketing idea. Seriously, if it can cut a leg right off.. it should have no problem with a 2x4 for your deck project! Thats craftmanship right there!

On the bright side, at least the guy is all set to go as a pirate this year for halloween now. He can get himself a REAL peg leg for some authenticity! Not many people can pull that off. And then put it back on. And then take it off again and beat annoying people with it. It is so versatile. I would get one made out of a shovel somehow so I would always have one handy in case I ever ran into Snaggletooth.

Now I have to apologize for the content of the above post. My excuse is that I am tired and in a rather demented mood. I'm not like this all the time or anything. :P

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Its a different world

>> Wednesday, October 29, 2008

I think back to even 3 or 4 years ago, and halloween was such a different event. It entailed picking out or helping pick out cute costumes for the boys. They went as things like Power Rangers or pirates. The ex and I had to take turns watching the door for kids coming to get candy while the other walked with the boys as they went door to door looting candy. I would watch patiently from the road as they would walk up to the door, costumes worn awkwardly over warm clothes (hey.. halloween is cold in WI), to get the candy. They would be chilled to the bone, but the thought of free candy outweighed the discomfort and they often begged to keep going as long as there was room left in whatever container they were using that year.

Halloween this year is going to be much different. I was in charge of costumes this year. So I started talking to the boys about what they wanted to do and what I got was this conversation:

Me: So what do you guys think you are going to want to do for costumes this year?

B: Oh.. I have to have a Barney Rubble costume.

Me: Barney Rubble? Why Barney Rubble? Do you even know who he is?

B: I know he is from the Flintstones and that is what our group is going to go as. Kimmy is going as Betty and .... (i tuned out a bit here I have to admit as he listed who in his group was going as who) .. and I got stuck with Barney Rubble.

Me: Ok.. we'll see what we can do for a Barney Rubble costume if thats what you want to do. So you have made plans to trick-or-treat with friends then?

B: Yeah. We are all going to meet up at someones house and go from there.

Me: How about you Gabe? Any thoughts on what you want to go as this year?

G: Oh I am going with MarMar (knickname.. don't ask.. I don't know) and Karen and we are all going to be hippies we decided already.

Me: Hippies? Do you even know what a hippy is?

G: I know they wear wierd clothes, had big hair with headbands and huge sunglasses.

Me: Ok then. Hippy it is. We'll see what we can find. You can wear your big green clown wig as a psychedelic 'fro.



You notice how Dad was not included in any of those plans other than making sure they got the costumes they wanted? I see how its going to be from now on. So we went to the costume store on Monday night. The store on the west side of Madison is great as they have pictures and descriptions and available sizes for all the costumes on these cards that are all displayed on the back wall. You go pick what you want, have the employees standing there write down the number and they call it in for you and you go to the window and pick it up to try on. No fighting with people to find sizes or have stuff all over the shelves and floor etc. Great system.

We found a hippy outfit for Gabe. They only had adult sizes which is fine anyway, kid sizes are really getting too small and they wear them over warm clothes so they need to be big. Just have to pin the legs up so he doesn't trip. They had a Barney Rubble costume as well and I was about to point it out to B when I noticed him staring at the weapon rack. All manner of swords and axes, sicles and knives and other instruments of destruction were there. I looked at him and asked him if he REALLY wanted to be BR for halloween this year. He shook his head and said no, that he would rather wear the mask he had with the long black hooded robe he has from last year, but could he get some cool weapons to go with it?

You bet! Lame BR costume or dual wield some badass cleavers? Far cooler to look like you could maim someone in my opinon. So he spent a few minutes browsing the assortment to pick out his perfect weapon combo while Gabe and I went to find his costume to try on. He comes over to where we are carrying two of these:



Me: Wow.. those are actually very cool. So you are going to dual wield those?

B: Yeah.. they are awesome.

Me: How are you going to carry your candy? Do you think maybe just one would be better so you have a free hand?

B: (thinks a minute) No .. I will find a container I can put over my wrist some how so I can still have two axes.. I think it looks much better if I have one in each hand.

Me: Fair enough .. you go ahead and get both.

B: SWEET!

Gabe came out with the pants on his outfit about a foot and a half too long and everything a little big, but we'll make it work. So off we go. Quick stop at Target to pick up a few things and then the kids are complaining about being hungry. So across the street is a place we seldom eat as there isn't one close to us. Taco Bell. We grabbed dinner quick with the kids taunting each other on how much and what level of hot sauce they were willing to put on their food.

We drive home and I ask Gabe to get the mail while B and I unload. He finds letters from Nana and Grandad in the mail. They open the cards with halloween jokes in them. My mom had made up and additional joke as well. Something about where ghosts go to eat and the answer? "TaaaaaCoooOOOooo BeeellLLLLlll" (say it in a spooky ghost voice).

See many years ago.. and for the life of me I can't even remember why now, Gabe would say that he wanted to go eat at TaaaaCooooOooo BeeeellLLLll in a ghost voice when it was around halloween. I don't know how it started or where it came from, but he did it so often that season.. every time he would see one, or hear a commercial or anything. It stuck. My mom thought it was the funniest thing and to this day.. years later, it sticks with her still. Thus the joke to mention it again in his card.

Gabe just HAD to call Nana right away. He thought it was the coolest thing ever that he got the card after we had just eaten there for the first time in probably over a year. Funny coincidence, but to G it was imperative to call Nana right then to tell her about the experience. After Gabe talked for a bit, I actually got a chance to talk to my parents as well.

Convo with my Dad:

Dad: So is it snowing there yet?

Me: Actually.. it did snow today. Just some big flakes. Light flurries and nothing stuck.

Dad: Yeah.. umm.. it was 147 here today.

Ok.. maybe he said "93" and not "147" .. but really, it's almost November. 93 is as absurd as 147 at this point! Oh how I don't miss the desert. I miss being closer to my family for sure, but I sooooo don't miss Phoenix.

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Sore Winners, Good Losers

>> Tuesday, October 28, 2008

A couple weeks ago I was playing some games with the boys. We played some card games, a little Rock Band and then we played some Defenders of the Ancients or DotA for short. We had a good time. By the time we got to DotA, which the boys discovered at the LAN party and now LOVE, they wanted to play several rounds. I played against the two of them and won. I played once with each of them and then again on my own.. and won all the matches. I taunt them a bit while we play if I kill their heroes the same way they do if they kill mine.

Bedtime rolls around and they are in their room getting ready for bed. I hear this steady clack..clack..clack. I figured the fan they have in there was blowing something but if they were ok with it I let it go. I don't hear it with my fan on and door closed anyway. I hear a few muttered words in there.. with a bit of a 'tude .. and then silence other than the 'clack'. Not long after my older some comes in and says that he can't sleep because G is being 'obnoxious'. So I go in to see what the deal is and its not the fan, but G himself repeatedly knocking one of the blinds into the wall. He is still dressed in all but his shoes and lying on top of his blankets.

So, I start to try and figure out what is going on. B goes back to bed and I start talking with G. He is angry, upset and has tears in his eyes. I don't know what turns kids into a big bag of emotions at the 10-12 year range, but it happened with B and now he is going through it as well. The littlest things will set him off. Tonight it was the fan. They share a fan to creat some white noise and they both like the air circulating. However, there is no good way to position it so they both get the breeze directly on them and its a box fan so it doesn't oscillate. Apparently he had been getting up after his brother went to sleep and point it directly at him and then going to sleep like that. At which point B claims he ends up waking up from being to warm and can't go back to sleep when he does that. That is what the harsh words were form earlier.

So.. this has become a full blown issue. I had him put his head at the other end of the bed and then put the fan blowing in between the two of them and suddenly he had all the air he wants without moving the fan. Crisis solved right? All is well? Not so much. He is still upset. I ask whats wrong and he finally blurts out "YOU ALWAYS WIN!"

Now I take a minute to think about that.. and we talk about it. He is old enough, 11, where we can actually have a rational discussion. I asked him what I always win at because he and his brother can hold their own and win in the card games we play. They trounce me in the Monkey Speed game we played. G is better at guitar in Rock Band than I am at this point. He said "you always win at computer games".

I had to explain that I have a lot more experience with strategy type computer games. That I had been playing them for years and years and on top of that I had more experience playing DotA in particular from previous LAN parties. The rest of our conversation went something like this:

Me: Think about it for a minute. Would you REALLY want me to just let you win? To not try my best?

G: Yes.

Me: Really?

G: Well.. no.

Me: Ok.. tell me why.

G: Well I know I will beat you eventually when I get better at the game and I want to know that I beat you fair and that you weren't letting me win.

Me: So you are ok with me doing my best to win even if right now it means you are losing most of the time?

G: Yeah.. I will get you soon.

Me: That's the attitude you want. Look at a loss as a challenge, not a defeat. If you lose, figure out what you did wrong, or better yet, what I did right and encorporate that into the next round.

G: I will.


All calmed down and with renewed determination to win, he finally drifted off to sleep. No doubt with dreams of visciously slaying my heroes and leaving their dismembered limbs strewn across the field of battle.

It was an interesting experience and discussion. Its wonderful to be able to sit and discuss something and have them have those kind of insights now. We have since had discussion on being winners and losers and how to handle both. They have both since beaten me at DotA. It didn't take them long to figure out the tougher strategies and learn how to use them to their advantage. So I had to graciously admit defeat and say Good Game even though my competative side wanted to tell them to stop playing a cheap class with the IWIN button. Sometimes it sucks to have to set a good example when what you want to do is go off and tell them how lame they are and that they just got lucky that time. That the sun was in my eyes. That my system was lagging.

We have had to have some discussions on attitudes while playing.. and in accepting defeat or graciously winning. Its become very important as of late as both of them are getting more and more involved in competative sports. They know that when its me and them, we are going to do a little trash talking and give each other a hard time. They also have to know that at any other time, they need to know how to be .. sportsmanlike. I always thought that was a horrible word for describing how to behave in a competative environment. They need to understand that being a obnoxious winner is just as bad as being a sore loser. That no one wants to play with someone who has a bad attitude.

All in all, I think they get it and they are trying. They still have their lapses and bad moments. But then so do I. :P

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Jammin

>> Thursday, October 23, 2008

No.. not talking about Bob Marley this morning, but rather technology that jams cell phone signals. Right now, the only people allowed to use cell phone jamming technology legally are the federal government agencies. State agencies cannot.

Why is this a problem? State prisons are looking for a way to block cell phone signals inside prisons. Cell phones are being smuggled into prisons and inmates are using them to continue running their illegal businesses, order hits on people or coordinate escape plans. Obviously they are trying to stop the cell phones from getting in, but they are still making it through. Some states want to install jammers in their prisons to prevent cell phones from being used inside the prison even if they did manage to get one in.

Right now, the federal government won't allow state agencies to use them. Not even prisons. This is absurd. I know you don't want every state trooper running around with a cell phone jammer in their back pocket, but very restricted use for a situation like the maximum security prisons seems like a reasonable request to me. The rules have to keep up with the changing technology. But hey, we should make sure life doesn't get too inconvenient for convicted criminals. Right?

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Ass Paint

>> Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Yeah.. I know its not everyday you see a title like that. They are repainting the hallways the employees use to enter the casino. Normally this would not be a big deal. Sure you don't want to touch the walls when they are wet and you have to deal with fresh paint fumes for a couple of days, but overall a minor inconvenience.

Not the case however when they are using ass paint. I don't know what else to call it, but the normal paint fumes were .. lets just say "off". As we were leaving the building last Friday and again on Monday, there was this smell. We quickly identified that they were painting, but that didn't smell like any paint I had ever encountered. It smelled less like fresh paint and more like someone was doing some king of scat art in the hallway. I mean seriously, if you have to take an emergency dump, there are plenty of bathrooms in the facility, you should not have to resort to the closest paint can.

Even if that kind of emergency arose, I would say that its ok to just go ahead and declare that can of paint to be off limits. Go ahead and cap that bad boy off.. tight. Put some biohazard tape on the top. Then bag it. Then box it up. Put that box in another box and then mail that box to yourself and when it arrives.. SMASH IT WITH A HAMMER!

Ok.. don't really do that. It would void the purpose of sealing it up in the first place and you would now have ass paint everywhere. That was a movie reference actually and if you didn't get it.. you are missing out.

But I digress. Lets just SAY NO to ass paint. There is no reason for you to be putting a fresh coat of paint on the walls and have it smell like a porta-potty was just tipped over in the hallway. I would rather have the old paint and less ass smell. I just pray that it dries quickly and the smell goes away.

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Too Hot or Frozen

>> Tuesday, October 21, 2008

If you watched the clip I posted about the hot pocket, you will remember him talking about the two ways you can eat a hot pocket. Still frozen in the middle, or boiling lava hot. That is the same way my office is.

We have a temperature control on the wall for just our room. It is just a slider with left being cooler, right being warmer. Its supposed to have a 10 degree range in temperature. So if they building is set at say 65, then if you leave it in the middle it will be at 65, all the way to the left would be 60 and all the way to the right should be 70.

It actually works out more like:

All the way left = Fingers numb. Can see breath. Penguins are wearing scarves and hats.
Middle = does not actually exist.
All the way right = WTF.. when did we move the office to Arizona? Throw some steaks on the desk, they will probably cook quick.

With all of todays technology, this is seriously the best temperature control we can come up with? If you know me, you know I don't get cold easy. So when I am shivering at my desk and my hands actually hurt from being so cold, its DAMN COLD. Yet a small flip of the switch and suddenly its like we are in a sauna and I start looking around for someone to pour some water on the rocks for some steam to make it REALLY uncomfortable.

Another of these shocking lack of working technology areas is drive-thrus. Next time you pull up to the McDonalds drive through in your car with On-Star, GPS navigation, sattelite radio, CD/MP3 player, DVD players in the headrest and talking on your phone that can call, txt, email, take pictures and short movies as well as play music and games, really think about the drive through technology. You try to talk to this little speaker. They try to talk back. It sounds like you are trying to intercept an alien transmission from deep space. Hell half the time I am tempted to pull off the speaker cover and confirm my suspicion that it is indeed a can in there with a string tied to it.

Its just a bad combination. You only need an IQ of about 4.73 to work at a fast food restaurant. Most employees are kids who, while they like the paycheck, hate working. And they really hate working drive through on a weekend when they could be doing something fun. So you take a kid who doesn't really care about the job he is doing and then toss in the fact that they have to try and decipher what they hear through that static filled radio and is it any real wonder that they get orders wrong or incomplete so often?

Well I must go turn the thermostat back to Ice Age as my eyes are drying out from the hot air that is slowly turning the office into a waypoint on the journey to hell.

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Let there be rock!

>> Monday, October 20, 2008

As my boys and I were playing through a set on RockBand 2 yesterday and we came to Let There Be Rock by AC/DC, I started thinking about the fact that they are getting exposed to all this cool music. Not only exposed to it, but find they like a lot of different stuff and have been requesting I put some of the songs on their MP3 players.

As I was playing WoW online with some friends yesterday, we were talking on Ventrilo. For those of you unfamiliar with it, Ventrilo is a voice chat server that we use to communicate easily while we play. Well everytime I queued my mic to talk, they could hear the tap-tap-tap of the drums coming from the other room where Gabe was trying to bang out Joan Jett's Bad Reputation on expert drums. Yep, my 11 year olds favorite song right now is by Joan Jett. Go figure. Not the Jonas Brothers, not Miley Cyrus, not High School Musical 47 - The Golden Years.

I was talking about this with one of the guys in my guild and saying how cool it was that the boys are getting an appreciation for many different types of music. From classic rock to funk, metal to pop rock and lots of stuff in between. If you are not aware of what kind of music is available, check out the list here. We actually downloaded the entire Blood Sugar Sex Magik album from Red Hot Chili Peppers a bit ago and have been having a blast playing through the tracks on that one. The guy I was talking to is into music quite a bit and as we were discussing the challenges of some of the songs we were playing, this conversation happens:

Krunnk: Your boys are older though aren't they?

Me: Yeah they are. 11 and soon to be 13. Teenager.. ughh.

Krunnk: Must be nice to hear them playing that kind of music.

Me: I am glad to see them listening and playing a variety of stuff.

Krunnk: Lucky.. you know whats playing in my other room? (Krunnk Sings) I LOVE YOU, YOU LOVE ME....

Me: AHHHHH Barney. Sucks to be you man. I had to go through that. Just think.. next is Telletubbies or The Wiggles!

Krunnk: Kill me now. Please


Ok.. so he didn't really ask me to kill him, but I could tell he wanted to but didn't want to freak his wife out who was also on Vent with us. Barney does that to people. Turns your brain into mush. Drives you insane. I mean really. You want a way to make a prisoner talk? You don't need physical torture, you need Barney. Put him in front of a big projector so barney is like the size of Godzilla. Tape his eyelids open, crank the volume and let Barney dance around in front of him singing for 24 hours. Its enough to make the strongest man crack. I am normally a peaceful person, but something about Barney makes me want to punch kittens or hit Kirsten Dunst in the face with a shovel. Ok.. fine. That was a lie. I always want to hit Kirsten Dunst in the face with a shovel. That was not incited by Barney at all but rather the fact that she is a horrible actress and looks like a troll that should be living under a bridge making deals with goats for safe passage.

But anyway, I was out to dinner with my brother and his wife and mother-in-law for Jenae's birthday and somehow the Jim Gaffigan comedy routine about hot pockets popped into my head. Here's the video for those that haven't seen it. Check it out, its a riot and its clean if you are watching at work or have delicate sensitivies.

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I said back off!

>> Friday, October 17, 2008

As I was browsing CNN.com this morning.. delaying getting any real work done at work.. I stumbled across the article entitled "Woman beheads man, parades it through streets". Well color me intrigued.

The short version is that the woman went into the woods to cut grass for her cattle. Apparently a guy who had been stalking / harassing her came up behind her and attacked her. To save her dignity she kicked his ass and then beheaded him with her sickle and then paraded through the streets of her village in India with the head dripping blood still. Article is here.

I don't know about the woman's dignity, but I am pretty sure no one is going to mess with her. Even if she does end up having to serve time for killing him, it should be pretty easy for her as no one is going to mess with the woman that likes to carry her decapitated heads with her on a parade through town.

Maybe this guy got what he deserved, but its still a bit over the top that she didn't just defend herself, but killed and decapitated him and then decided to show her friends in town what a severed head looks like. She should have taken it home and put it in some formaldehide so that she could put the head in a jar out as a halloween decoration. I mean how kickass would that be?

Bottom line.. if she has a sickle and has told you she really doesn't want to go out with you, best just leave her alone.

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Uno Mas Cerveza, Por Favor!

>> Thursday, October 16, 2008

Yeah.. thats about the extent of my spanish speaking abilities despite living in Arizona for 10 years. Im sure its not spelled right, but as long as you were sober enough to get something close to that out, they would bring you another beer. Unfortunately it was usually a Tecate. If you have not had the pleasure of trying that beer, just understand that it is the Busch Light of Mexico. It would probably be about as enjoyable to collect all the beer left over at say a football game, pour it into a big vat and let it sit in the sun for a few days and then bottle it and drink it. Yes.. its THAT good.

The reason this all came to mind today was an article on CNN about Nogales, Mexico being added to the US Travel Advisory alerts. See article here. I went to school down at UofA in Tuscon.. which is a mere 60 miles from the border with Mexico at Nogales. If you are unaware, there is no drinking age in Mexico, so it was a popular place to go for college kids. For the sun and atmosphere of course. No one was looking for booze or anything.. rest assured Mom.

We would sucker someone into being a DD and drive down to the border. Park at the McDonald's on the US side and walk across. We had interesting times down there. I don't remember seeing any violence down there, although at one point I did fear for my safety. It was not due to political tension in Mexico though. Rather it had to do with the rather large drunk guy we had with us.

See we had gone down to have a few drinks at one of the clubs there. Well one of our friends, Matt, decided he wanted a few beers. A whole bucket of them to be exact. We ordered a bucket for the table and he ordered a bucket for himself. He proceeded to drain 6 beers in about 45 minutes and despite being a big guy, he was drunk. So when they started the tequila congo line, he through that was a great idea and joined in.

In case you aren't familiar with the tequila congo line, image a 5 foot tall mexican with a massive bottle of tequila standing on a ladder while drunk partygoers congo under the stream of tequila he is pouring. Now most go through quick for a shot or so worth and then leave the dance floor. Matt however made several passes for good measure and was taking his time going under each time.

So now, he is PLASTERED. I mean barely able to function as a human being plastered. That didn't stop him from stealing beers from our bucket. As the night went on, it got worse, not better. Now we were all about ready to go and we realized that we had to somehow get him back across the border. I mentioned that he is a big guy. I forgot to mention that this club is in the basement of the building and there is a long steep flight of stairs to gain access to the street.

Matt can't even stand at this point, much less walk. There was no way he was going to navigate the flight of stairs without killing himself. So we got on either side of him and maneuvered him to the stairs. Problem is, the stairs were also narrow, meaning we couldn't stay on the side of him and get up the stairs. So one of us was pulling him and the other two were pushing.. trying to get him up the stairs. We had a whole bar full of people watching.. waiting for the ensuing tragedy of 4 college students dying in a drunken fall down the stairs.

After about 15 minutes of struggle, we managed to get him up and out with only minor injuries. What we came out of the bar too was a major street party. Normally this would have been cool and fun, but when you have a big drunk guy barely able to stand much less walk, and there are drunk mexicans standing.. sitting.. lying all over the street, the last thing you want is your drunk ass friend stepping on people and starting fights.

There were many tense moments as he we tried to control his careening around the streets towards the border crossing. He was loud, obnoxious, bumping into people, spilling drinks and getting dirty looks. I was just waiting for the whole thing to turn into a bad scene out of El Mariachi. Fortunately, we made it to the border with only one knife fight. I have the scar to this day, but the other guy was much worse off. Ok ok.. so the scar is from my apendix removal, but the knife fight in Mexico is a much cooler story so I am sticking with it.

Now the border guards are quite used to drunk college kids coming back across the border. Its not a rare thing. I don't think they expected what was coming that night though. As we push Matt across the border, we were getting our IDs ready. Matt however decided it was time to make a bold politcal statement and pulls his pockets inside out.. stretches them to the side and yells at the top of his lungs "HOOVER FLAGS!" Ummm... wtf?



Yeah.. so apparently Mr. TooDrunkToWalk just remembered some obscure history fact he had read back in high school somewhere. Here is the jist of it:

When the U.S. stock market crashed in 1929, President Herbert Hoover attempted to stop the U.S. economy from spiraling into what has become known as the Great Depression. Although President Hoover took action, most people agree that it just wasn't enough. Upset at Hoover, people began to give items that represented the economic crisis negative nicknames. For instance, shanty towns became known as "Hoovervilles." "Hoover blankets" were newspapers that homeless people used to protect themselves from the cold. "Hoover flags" were pants pockets that had been turned inside out, symbolizing a lack of money.



Now why on earth he picked the border crossing to remember this or why he thought it was a good idea to put on his little demonstration at the top of his lungs in the face of the border guards, we will never know. We managed to settle him down enough to get out his ID so we could cross, and headed for the car. When we thought we were done with wierd stuff for the night, we had an illegal who had snuck across the border somewhere creep up to our car and beg us to put him in the trunk and take him to Tuscon with us. The car was full.. but he didn't care.. the trunk was OK with him.

I know.. sounds like the plot to a bad National Lampoon movie. 4 college kids on their way back from Nogales with an illegal in the trunk! What could possibly go wrong?

Anyway.. I guess if you go for a ice cold Tecate or a flaming shot down in Nogales these days, bring your passport.. and your body armor. And whatever you do, make sure you don't drink the water. If you do.. you will be looking for the closest gun battle to put you out of your misery. :P

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