Now THAT's Marketing!

So here at work they have these bulletin boards. You know the kind where employees can put up notices. Stuff for sale, services, pets people want to have adpoted by a loving family etc. I glance at them as I walk bye every day. I can't help it. I don't know why exactly. Maybe I am secretly hoping that someone is going to be selling a 60" HD Plasma TV for $12 and I am the only one that notices the flyer stuck behind some other one that has a used baby high chair for sale. Or it could just be general curiousity. We have a lot of employees here, so the notices are many and varied.

With so many notices up there, you tend to be drawn to pictures and certain words that grab your attention. Today I am walking by.. glancing at the ads like I always do and I stop dead in my tracks. Words had jumped out at me from among the jumble. Want to take a guess on what those words were? No.. sadly it wasn't "Free Plasma TV for anyone with a blog and goes by the name Blade when online". Also as sad, it was not "Salma Hayek is single, thinks you are hot and wants you to have her personal cell phone number". What did catch my attention on a flyer was "Amputated Leg".

I had to stop and say to my self W.T.F.? Who is selling an amputated leg? Is that even legal? Is it like sealed up and laquered? Does it come in a big barrel of formaldehyde? Is there a big market for amputated legs that I am missing out on? I mean I have heard of a black market for kidneys and livers and such, but legs? Think about it.. kidneys are all pretty much the same size, but legs on the other hand.. don't work quite the same way. If you are 5'1" .. which is REALLY short BTW, and the only leg you could get on the black market was from someone who was 6'2", life would be a little, shall we say, lopsided for you from now on.

I had to know more and so I scanned the board and found the ad. Turns out they were NOT actually selling an amputated leg. They were selling power tools. The ad said something like "Must sell power tools as I had to have a leg amputated". Now I SHOULD be feeling horrible right now. None of my thoughts at the time were "Aww .. poor guy. That must suck." In fact my first thought after realizing that it was power tools for sale and not a leg was "Did he require the amputation after a mishap with the power tools?" Followed quickly by "Is he offering a discount for the ones with blood on them?" and "Do you think he got all the chunks off them?"

Ok.. ok. Yes, I am a horrible person, but if he did have an accident with the power tools, those are perfectly legit questions. I also wondered if he really wants to sell the power tools, or if its one of those situations where he has a wife / GF standing over him going "SEEEEEE.. I told you that you shouldn't spend that money on power tools and motorcycles, it was just a matter of time before you hurt yourself. It's all fun and games til someone has to have a leg cut off!" Is he secretly wondering if he could use that band saw to somehow remove her vocal cords?

I didn't look at the prices or what he was selling really because I don't have the space, money or time to make use of power tools right now, but I must say tossing the words "Amputated Leg" in an ad for power tools is a great marketing idea. Seriously, if it can cut a leg right off.. it should have no problem with a 2x4 for your deck project! Thats craftmanship right there!

On the bright side, at least the guy is all set to go as a pirate this year for halloween now. He can get himself a REAL peg leg for some authenticity! Not many people can pull that off. And then put it back on. And then take it off again and beat annoying people with it. It is so versatile. I would get one made out of a shovel somehow so I would always have one handy in case I ever ran into Snaggletooth.

Now I have to apologize for the content of the above post. My excuse is that I am tired and in a rather demented mood. I'm not like this all the time or anything. :P