They are smart up in Flint, MI

You want to assume that the police are on the ball. Highly trained. One step ahead of the criminals. You want to assume that if something bad happens, that they are going to be there in a flash solving the crime. Maybe its not one of those open and shut cases, but you want to know that they have a grasp on what's going on and are at least headed in the right direction. I am not so sure the people of Flint, MI are feeling that way right about now.

The police up that way have released a statement that they are "investigating" to see if any foul play was involved in the death of a 9 year old quadriplegic girl. Who was found dead in a public storage unit. In a trash bag. Covered in moth balls to mask the smell. Who wasn't reported missing for over 6 weeks after she was last seen.

What do you need to investigate for signs of foul play? The cops are waiting for the autopsy they said. Even if she died of natural causes.. the rest of the stuff is STILL foul play. What is their scenario looking like? One of my coworkers suggested that maybe she did the 'worm' to get to the storage facility. So maybe that's what they are thinking. She threw herself out of the wheelchair and 'wormed' her way down to a public storage facility. Then waited for someone to leave and sneak in real quick. She then omehow used her mouth to pick a lock to the storage unit. Then wriggled inside a plastic bag and then quickly covered herself in a mass of mothballs in the most elaborate hide-n-seek spot ever?

Look, even if she was suicidal and decided to suffocate herself in a trash bag in a pile of mothballs, SHE WAS A QUADRIPLEGIC. The definition of which is someone who has lost the function of both arms and both legs. Have you seen an adult trying to get a plastic yard trash bag off the roll, open, and get leaves stuff inside? Its not all that easy for a full functioning adult. Yet it doesn't raise any 'foul play' notions for the Flint PD that a girl who can't use her arms or legs ends up inside of one hidden in a pile of moth balls? Someone draw them a picture already as they are obviously just not getting it.

I know people are innocent until proven guilty. That is a GOOD thing. But that doesn't mean you make inane statements to the public like that. Give them some confidence in the police department. This is not a good way to do it.

I guess when I finally decide to take out Kirsten Dunst, I should do it in Flint. Then I can wrap her in a trash bag and toss her in a pile of moth balls in a public storage facility. That should raise no questions for at least a couple of months!

If you really want to see a badass 'worm' move though.. check out good ol' Steve Wozniak of Apple computers @ 3:15 in this video.