Shouldn't you know?

I don't know why I am still floored by some of the things that go on around here at work. Today was supposed to be a nice easy day. Half day with nothing major pending and most people just ease into a holiday weekend so they don't call us to start anything major. Then I get an email which wants a bunch of information to put together in a report... well crap.

The thing is though, this email is very, VERY vague as to what they are looking for. So I ask for clarification from the person that sent the email. What I get back for an answer was basically:

"Well the person that requested this from me was vague too.. so I'm not sure."

Umm.. so you didn't think to ask for clarification? What was I thinking.. of course you didn't. That would make sense. This individual is supposed to be using his technical knowledge as well as his people skills to provide a bridge so to speak between the non-technical departments and management and the technical world. This is his position now. It's what he wanted to do. Yet when asked for a report, he is unable to even determine if he needs to ask more questions.

Helloooooo.. if you want to be a liaison .. then get to liaising already. Hmm.. not sure thats even a word, but I like it. Nothing irritates me more than a person who wants a job, gets said job and then chooses to not make any kind of effort to do that job. Really, we had ambiguous, pointless requests before. We don't need a middle man that just repeats that crap. We can get that directly from the source and at least they have a reason for it. You are supposed to understand. You are supposed to be able to speak both languages. Apparently you just haven't figured out the mythology of that yet.

Yes, I mean to use the term mythology there. Yes, I know the term methodology would be a better fit, but who am I to judge or question the choice of terms used by the master liaison? Clearly he must know what he is about and I am just a simpleton.

Today's email request was the equivalent of calling up your neighboor and saying, "Hey.. my boss is asking me questions and I need you to give me a report on grass."

Now your reaction to that would be something along the lines of .. "WTF does that mean? Are you talking grass like in your front yard? Or grass as in weed? Do you want to know how to grow it? Do you want to know the different kinds out there? Do you want to know the best kinds of fertilizers and weed killers for your lawn? Do you want to find someone to maintain your lawn? Really.. can you be more specific on what you are looking for so I can get you the information you are looking for?"

Legitimate questions... to which he replies, "I don't know.. he just wants a report on grass."

How the hell do you not ask more questions. Get clarification. Forge some kind of understanding between their world and ours. That is what you signed up for and claimed you are good at. This is an epic failure and is most likely going to be a giant waste of time for all involved.

It is very tempting to just make a crappy report with random facts that are just as useless and unhelpful as the instruction were that they gave us. But my brain doesn't work that way. I need to know. I need to understand what you want. I need it to come out organized and structured. Why must you piss me off so?

Happy hour can't come soon enough. Must drink away the stupid and annoying that is quickly taking up too much of my relaxing half day at work.