Tyrant! Pt. 2

Again last night I had to sit down with my son. Again, we had to have a talk and this time it involved punishment. I was calm and didn't yell. It was a simple cause and effect thing. He knew the consequences if he decided he was going to play on the computer or the 360 before he homework and chores were done. I know he knew, because we had this conversation.. in detail.. just a couple weeks ago. /sigh

The rule is simple. He gets home form school and has about 90 minutes before I get home from work. All I ask is that he does his chores (less that 5 min worth of work a day) and do his homework. Most days he has little or no homework, which in itself is a point of irritation for me, but is another post entirely. That means out of his afternoon, he needs 5 minutes to accomplish his chores. Oh.. and by chores.. I mean chore. He has one. Most days it probably takes less than 2 minutes to do. 5 minutes would be on the high side.

So after giving him the news of his punishment.. he gets mopey and teary. I can't wait for this overly emotional phase to end! He is in his room upset, so we go have a talk.

Me: I see you are really upset. Why?

G: Because I can't play computer or xbox and I was really having fun playing WoW again with everyone.

Me: So who are you angry with right now?

G: You.

Me: Oh? Why are you angry with me?

G: Because you are the one that grounded me.

Me: Think about that for a minute. Last time we had this conversation I told you exactly what would happen if you chose to ignore what you were supposed to do and play instead. Remember?

G: Yes.

Me: So you made a choice both last night when you didn't do the dishes.. and again today after school when you chose to ignore them. You made the choice that you knew would result in your punishment for breaking the rules. Didn't you?

G: Yeah.

Me: So who is responsible for you being in this situation?

G: *sheepishly* me....


I tried to explain that the last thing I want to do when I come home from work is have to deal with that kind of stuff. I tried to explain that I don't WANT to punish them. The boys are 11 and 13 .. which means taking away all forms of digital entertainment means they are going to be moping around the house with their "I'm bored" attitude for the duration. Why on earth would I want to subject myself to that? Why? I am trying to raise responsible, respectful, well-behaved boys. That's why.

During our talk, I found out again that I am being too hard on him. From his perspective anyway. I am just going to resign myself that I am a tyrant. If me being a tyrant keeps them on track with everything, then so be it. It's all about viewpoints I suppose though as I don't really think I am putting all that much pressure on them. Maybe I am though. Who knows. I am winging this whole parenting thing! ;)