Rookie Mistake

Flying with kids is never easy. I know.. I have done it with two small children before. I have done the lap thing with one of them for an entire 4 hour flight. I KNOW the trauma that can inflict on the parent, the child and the bulk of the passengers anywhere near said child.

It's because I have had this experience that I am very tolerant of other people going through the same thing. So there I sit on my flight home next to a young mother with a 1 year old on her lap and a child of about 2 and a half on the seat next to her at the window. I immediately had sympathy for this poor woman who was going to have to try to entertain those two for the 2 hour flight and do it with the younger one sitting on her lap the whole time. It was a jam packed flight or I would have tried to find another seat to allow her the row to herself with them.

The younger one was fussy, but I have wonderful headphones.. you know the ones that actually fit into your ear canal. They block out everything. Airplane engine noise, screaming fussy children etc. I was also fairly tired so I spent most of the flight partially dozing the best I can sitting on an airplane so I didn't even notice all her antics. I helped the mother adjust her light and air vents when she needed and picked a few things off the floor that she couldn't reach with the toddler on her lap. All in all, I really was fine with the situation. Until the last 25 minutes.

We were on our decent into the Denver area.. seatbelt light was on and all that. Suddenly the younger kid gets even fussier and so mom goes for the standard bribe. Food. This is a good go to.. keeps the hands busy and the mouth busy and if the pressure changes are part of the fussiness, the chewing will help with that too. I was thinking that maybe she did have a good handle on things after all. Then I saw what she gave the child. Cheetos. She gave a squirmy 1 year old who after almost 2 hours does not want to be sitting on her mom's lap anymore .. CHEETOS.

Im sure most of you know what I am talking about. They are covered in a bright orange cheese powder. That comes right off on the hands. Now most adults can eat them without too much of a mess, but you are talking about a 1 year old .. their hands are pretty much always moist and they like to lick their food etc. So this kid is eating cheetos double fisted and within the first minute her face, hands, forearms are all covered with orange cheese powder mixed into a nice paste with some drool.

All I am thinking is that I have been helpful and sympathetic to this mother and her 2 daughters.. but for the love of all that is holy.. don't let this kid touch me with those hands. I have another leg of my flight .. and an hour drive home from the airport after that. I am tired and in no mood to have saliva cheese sauce wiped on me. It took all of about 3 minutes for the child to get bored with the cheetos now that she had licked the good stuff off the outside.. threw the cheeto on the floor and proceeded to wipe one of her hands on my shorts. The other she wiped on herself, her mother and the seatback.

In the mothers defense, she did feel bad. Snatched the kids hand away quickly when she realized what the child was doing .. and immediately got out wipes and started cleaning things up. But seriously, who the hell gives cheetos to a 1 year old when they are not strapped immobile in a high chair and you have a fire hose close by for cleaning afterwards? You sure as hell don't give it to a lap sitting 1 year old on an airplane. Grrrrr.

So I spent the rest of the flight and my next leg with nice orange smears on my shorts. Fun stuff.