W T F China...

There is all sorts of stuff flying through the news agencies about China and the olympics. I am sure you have heard some of the stories. Today I read another that just boggles my mind. You can check out the full article here ... but the short version is that despite promises to the contrary, China is blocking interenational journalists from certain sites and topics. For example, anything with the word Tibet in it or sites with articles talking about human rights issues, are unavailable in the press area.

Now if you are unaware, China regularily blocks its citizens from accessing those kind of sites and a slew of others it has decided that they don't want people viewing. This has been known for a long time. When the IOC was looking at China as a possible site for the Olympics, one of the stipulations was uncensored internet access for the press. China is now twisting and spinning the fact that they promised unrestricted access during the Olympic games and are now 'clarifying' their original statement and saying they were only referring to unrestricted access to information about the Olympics. Not China as a country or government, their policies or actions.

I just find it hard that in this day and age, the IOC would even consider hosting the Olypics in China. No city or country is perfect by any means, but China.. all I can say is wow. The IOC is granting an event that brings tons of revenue and publicity to a city / country and can't even stick to its guns and make China follow through with the promises it made in order to secure the bid for the games in the first place.

Officials from the IOC have stated that they Olympic games are separate from politics and that the IOC doesn't get involved with a countries politics. Well thats all well and good, but you have required certain things from a host city in order to even consider them as a candidate. Now, a few days before the event is to occur, China is backtracking and not meeting those requirements as they said they would.

In my opinion, either the IOC has compliance in the next 48 hours to all the original requirements or they shut the whole thing down. They won't do it of course, but its what should be done. Actually Beijing should never have been considered in the first place in my opinion. Not with the multitude of other cities worldwide that would have been much better candidates for it.

Of course.. maybe you don't want to use the internet at all while you are there. There are other reports surfacing now stating that the Chinese government is also requiring all hotels to install software that collects information on its guests. Supposedly this system will monitor internet access and collect information on where its guests go, what they are doing on the internet and what topics they are looking up. Its unclear if the monitoring system goes any further than that, but if you are planning to attend the Olympics, I would leave the laptop at home and stay off free wifi connections while you are there.

I don't know.. there is just so much that strikes me as wrong with Beijing hosting the games. On top of that.. everytime you turn around now there seems to be another article on something else China promised and is now changing or 'clarifying' and saying they never meant it that way in the first place. I don't care of the summer olypics only happen every 4 years. Cancel them if they don't comply. Send out a message. And next time.. be smarter with your location choice.

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The Magnificent Seven

Yesterday I was 'tagged' to do a post with 7 random and maybe semi-interesting facts about myself. I decided that since they were about me.. the post must be titled "The Magnificent Seven". It just fit :P



So anyway.. here we go:

1. I have the build of a football player and everyone assumes thats what I did in high school, but I was actually a swimmer. Never played football in an organized league of any kind. I swam varsity in high school and swam in a summer league as well.

2. I have texture issues with foods. I love the flavors, but I cannot stand eating some foods because of their consistency and texture. Take onions for example. I like the flavor of them in food and if you use onion powder I am fine. But cook up a big tapeworm looking chunk of onion and put it right on top of something and you can have it all to yourself.

3. As a kid, I was terrified of the Wizard of Oz. My Mom will still tell you stories to this day about it if you ask. I still think the flying monkeys are creepy.

4. I work with computers all day every day.. and it also happens to be one of my favorite hobbies as well. I am one of the lucky people that really enjoy what they do for a living.

5. I am an acoustic guitar junkie. I love to listen to just about anything played on one. I spend a lot of time searching for and downloading acoustic versions of songs .. especially from bands that rarely do anything 'unplugged'. I have tried to pick up the guitar several times and can pick at it a bit, but alas my fingers are too short to do it realistically. Which brings me to number 6.

6. I have very big hands, but shorter fingers. No, it doesn't look freakish or anything, but if I compare my hand to my son's, his fingers are already longer than mine even though my hand overall is bigger than his.

7. I did photography in high school.. for the school yearbook as well as just for fun and personal satisfaction. I hope to get back into in the future. I love black and white, and sepaitone pictures. Photos are my favorite kind of artwork.


Well there you go.. maybe some things you didn't know about me. Or didn't want to know. I think I get to tag people now.. so to my siblings, consider yourself tagged.

For a little comic relief to brighten your day, here is another clip from Bill Engvall. This guy just slays me. Enjoy:




Seven days til my Lisa gets here! All sorts of good things associated with 7 today. :D

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No Country for old ZZzzz....

I am sure most of you have heard of the movie 'No Country for Old Men'. It won 4 Oscars along with a slew of other minor awards. It was critically acclaimed. I had heard a lot of people say how amazing this movie was. Maybe it was the hype again that made the movie dissapointing to me.

The movie had its strong points. Some of the characters and the acting were top notch. The assasin.. with his mannerisms and his creepy deep voice was fantastic. On a whole though, the story was very slow.. I mean VERY slow. Stuff happened real quick for the first little bit and then slowed waaaaaay down.

The story was so/so. It was certainly nothing even remotely original. Guy stumbles on a drug deal gone wrong. Takes 2 million that doesn't belong to him and thinks its all going to be ok because people that do drug deals in the desert for 2 million in cash won't care that its missing. Angry people start chasing him. He is sure he can outsmart them though.

The movie was long .. about 2 hours and 25 minutes. This seemed much longer due to the slow pace of the movie. For all that time, I expected much more closure at the end than we get from the movie. Seriously, its like they just ran out of film and decided to call it there. You don't really know where the money ended up. You don't know where the assasin ends up. Tommy Lee Jone's char just waxes poetic for minutes on end.. about what I am not quite sure. It's possible that I dozed off there for a minute or two.

Like I said, maybe it was the hype. All the rave reviews I heard about it. I just was expecting so much more. Not every film I watch has to be a non-stop action flick or sidesplitting comedy, but with dramas I feel like you need to keep the story moving at a reasonable pace. Also the story needs to have a bit more depth to it if you are going to drag it out for 2 and half hours.

I think I will keep the movie handy though. If I am having a hard time sleeping some night, I will pull it out and start watching it. Now that I know the few minor excitements in the film, it should have me out cold in under 10 min.

Now that my rant on the movie is over, I leave you with a little comedy. This clip is from Craig Shoemaker. He's funny as hell.. but getting the crowd involved in this bit is just hilarious. Check it out.



8 Days! <3 Lisa

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Discovery Love

Since the boys are back.. and we needed our living room, the elliptical is in the garage for now. That means I have to do my cardio at the gym again. The upside to this is that they have individual TV's for each piece of cardio equipment and they all are hooked up to cable TV. For me.. this means one thing. Discovery channel.

Oh I know, this makes me a huge nerd or something, but I am quite addicted to the channel. The shows.. I just like them all. Mythbusters, Smash Lab, Build it Bigger, How's it Made, Dirty Jobs, Deadliest Catch ... all fabulous shows. I know whenever I turn on Discovery, there is going to be something I like to watch.

I have 12 days as of this morning to hit a personal goal before Lisa gets here and we head to Canada for our guild camping trip and that means some extra time at the gym. As any of you working out and trying to get in shape know, motivation is always the struggle. Somehow getting your butt out of the house and down to the gym after a 10 hour work day and 2 hours drive time. Then when you get there.. finding a way to stay there and getting in the time you know you need to make your goals.

Discovery has come through for me once again. Do you all know what this Sunday is? No? Dissapointed. Sunday starts SHARK WEEK! They have all their normal shows, but those shows all get a shark theme and relate themselves to sharks somehow. Then there is all the other shows on sharks. I love shark week. So now I have a reason to spend an extra hour or two at the gym.. to watch shark week as I don't have cable tv at home right now.

My girlfriend happens to love sharks, which of course is another reason I love her. Its not easy to find a woman who is as willing as you are to get all geeky over a weeks worth of shark programs on Discovery!

So for Lisa and all the other shark and Discovery channel fanatics out there.. here is some killer slow motion footage of a great white shark:

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And the honeymoon is over

Don't get me wrong.. I am still glad to have the boys back.. but wow its crazy how quick they can get me from exstatic to have them back to moderadely driving me crazy in the span of 48 hours. :P It's really quite a feat.

The boys are home all day during the summer, but as long as I know where they are, they are allowed to go do stuff with friends, they bowl, they swim, they shoot hoops etc. Yesterday was no exception. They wanted to go bowling and then play with friends after. They get one game of free bowling every day during the summer with the pass they get from the school for good grades so its an easy thing for them to ride down and do without any cost. They texted me to ask me if they could go. I said they could.

Now let's remember that there is a standing rule at my house. You don't even ask to go anywhere until your chores are done. Their chores are few.. and very simple to manage. They keep their room clean and they each have one other chore they are responsible for daily. That's it. They have been told and reminded many many times that they are to get those done BEFORE they go play. Since this rule is longstanding and a no-brainer, I don't feel the need to ask them everytime .. I assume that its been followed.

So when they asked to go out around 1pm for the rest of the afternoon, I figued all that stuff was done. I mean, they wouldn't ask if things weren't done right? They had been up for over 5 hours, so plenty of time for them to get that stuff done. There is no possible way they sat around all morning and got nothing done and then would even think about asking to go out without those things done... RIGHT?

I got home from work to what I can only assume was an F5 tornado disaster site. The kitchen was a disaster (Gabe's job this week) the living room had plates and cups all over the place as did their computer desks. Both computers were on and logged into a game. The TV was on .. along with the xbox, the RB instruments, and the tuner. Most of the lights in the house were on. Their room was a disaster.. clothes everywhere, wet towels from showers, beds that looked a battle had been fought in them.. shoes all over. Radio was on in there too. No boys anywhere.

They had really outdone themselves yesterday. I mean not only did they violate the standing rule, they managed to do it and hit pretty much all of my pet peeves at the same time. Wet towel on the floor? Check. Every light, computer monitor, and electronic device in the house on with no one around? Check. Dirty laundry in piles around the room... and all piles less than 6 feet from the empty laundry basket? Check. /sigh

Maybe this was their way of checking to see if I was still paying attention? Well in case you are wondering.. I AM. If its that way again when I get home today.. there will be beatings.. oh yes there will. And no.. they will not hurt me more than they hurt you .. in fact.. I will enjoy it!

Here is a clip from Bill Cosby 'Himself' ... not the one I wanted about the fact that kids can't sleep without their beatings.. but extremely funny parenting clip just the same:




NOTE: Before you freak out and call child protective services .. no, I don't actually beat my children. Its far more effective to cut them off from anything that plugs in than it is to beat them anyway. My take on if you should spank a child when they are young is a whole different blog post and not really relevant here.

Today is officially less than two weeks til Lisa gets here! I know.. you don't care but I do and am super excited and since this is my blog, you get to deal! :P

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The Boys are Back in Town

Yes, my boys are back. They enjoyed almost two weeks in sunny (Aka - super hot) Arizona with my parents, sister and bro-in-law, and my nephew Caden. Lot's of time in the pool, hanging out with their cousin, and in general being spoiled with meals out and special activities. They always enjoy their time in Arizona. It's some time away from their parents and special time with family they don't get to see very often due to the distance. This year was no different. They had lots of stories to tell when they got back about all the things they did.

This year it was a bit different for me when they went. In previous years, it was a really nice relaxing break. Some adult time..a bit of a reprieve. But that was when they boys were there with my ex and I all the time.. every day. It just felt a bit different this year as I only have them half the time and thus I have every other week without them already so I don't feel the need for that break. I guess I am just trying to say that although I always miss them when they are gone, I really missed them this year.

On the way back from the airport, they were singing along with the songs I was playing as we often do while driving in the car. They were telling me stories of their AZ adventures. Then they progressed to "playing tennis" which was some kind of game they invented which involved hitting each other in the hands repeatedly. I am not sure on the rules.. only they know. It was good to hear the sounds of their laughter again. Their silliness and antics. Of course we had to end "tennis" when I started hearing "Ow.. that hurt! Stop!" .. but it was amuzing while it lasted.

Big thanks to my AZ family for playing host to the boys again this year. They love the time they get to spend there each year. They were glad to be home, but miss you already.

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WTB: Finished Basement

When my sister and brother-in-law came out to visit and drive my brother's stuff here to WI for him, they were nice enough to bring me a coffee table they had replaced with a newer one and and elliptical trainer they were no longer using. The coffee table looks great and the elliptical is something the offered to me a while ago as I love them, but we just didn't have any feasible way of getting it here from AZ.

Now my apartment is 2 bedrooms and is big by apartment standards. Its about 1300 sq. ft. Not huge, but the bedrooms are large and so is the living room area and the kitchen/dining areas. At least it felt that way when I first moved in. After my family left, I decided I was going to move the elliptical in and find a place where I could put it. I knew it would be somewhat inconvenient, but I was not expecting quite what I encountered. Between the two kids computers, TV setup, chair, couch, coffee table, end tables etc and now the elliptical, I had basically filled the room to capacity. You can't walk through the room now without walking around things.

This is working ok this week while the boys are in AZ visiting with my family, but unfortunately I am going to have to make space in the garage to store the elliptical until I get a bigger place. This is dissapointing for me as last night I tossed in a movie I hadn't watched yet.. hopped on the elliptical .. and went at a medium pace for the entire 1:40 of the movie. It was surprising how easy it was to get in a good long workout when you are not focused on the timers and counters. I just put a towel over them so I didn't even get tempted to look at them and just watched my movie. Felt so good afterwards.

My gym fortunately has individual TVs for each piece of cardio and has cable hooked up to them which is second best to watching a movie, so I'm not completely SOL when I move the elliptical back out, but its not quite the same. Commercials are annoying to begin with, but when you are exercising to them.. they become even more so to me for some reason. Since I don't have cable TV at home right now though, this is when I get in my time with Discovery channel .. they have so many shows I love to watch. I have to go to the gym every other day to lift anyway, so I do cardio at the gym when I'm there on those days, and I will just have to go back to the gym on cardio days as well now til I get enough room to setup an office / gym room. :)

I am not usually one to talk about myself and personal goals and challenges much, but as of this morning I have lost over 85 pounds. I have doubled or more the weight I was lifting when I started. I am not on a diet plan, no pills, no strict workout plan. Just hard work at the gym and watching what I eat .. for the most part. I still have a ways to go to reach my final goal, but I am feeling great these days. I have lost about 8 inches off my waist and am starting to show some definition from the lifting. I don't want to be a musclebound freak, just in shape and healthy.

Thanks to all those who have been supporting and encouraging. It means more than you know. When I am done and have reached my final goal, I will post some before and after pictures.

It's Friday.. and less than 20 days until Lisa gets here! I am so very excited!

A friend of mine didn't care for the video I put up yesterday.. and suggested a different one for entertainment purposes. But I will not subject you to his suggestion.. which was Hasselhoff singing 'Can't fight this feeling'. If you really want to see that.. search for it on youtube, you'll find it. The song Safety Dance came up in conversation at work yesterday.. which reminded me of this scrubs clip that cracked me up. So here it is for your Friday enjoyment:

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It was the best of times.. it was the worst of times...

Quote from Charles Dickens:

"It was the best of times, it was the worst of times; it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness; it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity; it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness; it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair; we had everything before us, we had nothing before us; we were all going directly to Heaven, we were all going the other way."

This quote popped into my head this morning as I was driving to work and thinking about things. I have several people in my life, both friends and family, that have been having a rough go of it lately. Personal issues, signficant others, kids, finances, jobs, stress, pressure .. they feel like they are being pulled every which way. Being kicked when they are down. That no matter what they do.. they can't catch a break.

It's not easy. Remember back to being a kid and all your had to worry about was getting your homework done and getting good grades in school? Seems the older we get, the tougher things are. When do we hit that point where things make sense? Where we get a good solid grip on life and things become easy and less stressful?

If you know me, I am about as laid back and easy going as you can get. Yet I am just a prone to those times where life can seem overwhelming. Where I can't seem to get a foothold and I just keep slipping back into the hole I have managed to get myself into. Its maddening. Stressful. Depressing. It makes me frustrated and angry that I can't seem to do anything about it sometimes. So to those of you dealing with stuff right now, please know you are not alone and that I think most of us understand what you are going through. Maybe its not exactly the same situation, but I can pretty much guarantee that we have all run into something that has put us in the same emotional stress-ridden state.

To my friends and family that are struggling, if you ever want to talk.. about anything ... please don't hesitate to email me. My email is bladestone at gmail dot com. I have unlimited long distance on my phone as well so call me and I will call you right back if that is easier. Email me for my number if you need it. I can listen if nothing else and offer support. I probably don't have any sage-like words of wisdom or solutions to your problem, but sometimes just talking about it and knowing you are not alone going through these kinds of situations can help.

I hate to see the people I care about struggling. I hate to see them feeling stressed out and alone and I can't be there to give them a hug. Can't take them out for a stiff drink and some venting. Its hard to be a shoulder to lean on from far away, but like I said, please don't hesitate to email or call if you want to vent or talk or anything.

The song on my blog today is by Red Hot Chili Peppers. Fits the post well I think. Lyrics are as follows:

My friends are so depressed
I feel the question of your loneliness
Confide...'cause I'll be on your side
You know I will, you know I will

Ex-girlfriend called me up
Alone and desperate on the prison phone
They want to give her seven years
For being sad

I love all of you
Hurt by the cold
So hard and lonely too
When you don't know yourself

My friends are so distressed
And standing on the brink of emptiness
No words I know of to express
This emptiness

I love all of you
Hurt by the cold
So hard and lonely too
When you don't know yourself

Imagine me, taught by tragedy
Release is peace

I heard a little girl
And what she said was something beautiful
To give your love no matter what
Is what she said

I love all of you
Hurt by the cold
So hard and lonely too
When you don't know yourself



As I was reading through the lyrics, one part caught me off guard as I didn't remember him saying it in the song. The part I am talking about is where he says "Imagine me, taught by tragedy, release is peace." I started wondering what he meant by that. What does he mean by release? I guess only the writer of the song will know for sure. Does he mean to let it go? Does he mean finding a release from the stress via another source? A mental distraction like music, movies, books, or games? Therapy? Alchohol? Drugs? Or does he mean something far more dire like suicide? The rest of the tone of the song seems to lend itself to saying that I understand whats going on .. and to just let things go best you can. Release yourself from stressing over every little thing. Give your love no matter what.

We all have our crappy days. Our days where we just don't feel like getting out of bed in the morning to deal with another day full of life's many headaches, strains and stresses. Days when we wish it was easy and all the hard stuff would just dissapear. Fortunately, its not always like that. Rely on your friends and your family .. even people you think you might not normally be able to really talk to. Maybe you don't think they would understand because their not in your shoes, but you will probably be surprised.

To all my friends and family having a rough go of it right now, I am always here for you. No questions asked. No judgements. No expectations. Just let me know if you need a friendly ear. Much <3.

And now for a video that is a bit silly and hopefully makes you smile:

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Compassionate Release?

Susan Atkins was denied release from prison. Maybe you know who she is.. maybe you don't. She was one of the Manson followers that participated in the killing spree in 1969. She now is terminally ill with brain cancer and is expected to live less than 6 months. Apparently that is grounds for a request for "compassionate release" .. meaning they are released from prison because they are sick and only have so long to live.

Here's my problem with that. She wasn't just a Manson follower, caught up with the others. She was an active participant in the murders. She has freely admitted to holding down Sharon Tate and stabbing her 16 times. All while Tate was begging and pleeding for the life of her child. Tate was 8 months pregnant at the time. She was also convicted in the participation of the murder of 4 other people.

I think it takes a lot of nerve to stand up in court and ask for a compassionate release from your jail term when you have admitted you ignored pleas from a pregnant woman and stabbed her not once or twice, but 16 times. What on earth makes you feel you deserve any compassion?

In my opinion.. she should have been sent to Texas right after her trial. They at least still have the balls to use the death penalty down there. The death penalty is a tricky thing. But there are some cases where I think its cut and dry. This would be one of them. The evidence matched up with her confession to her acts. There was no reason she should not have been executed. Maybe you don't like the death penalty, but I don't like the fact that a confessed brutal murderer was commuted from the death sentance to life in prison after killing 5 people.

Her incarceration, medical care (brain cancer treatment and leg amputation and treatment) and the cost of guarding her room at medical centers has cost the state of California close to 1.5 million dollars over the last 35+ years. Should have shipped her off to Texas to be executed. Call me callous. Maybe you are one of those people that are opposed to the death penalty. I just don't see why taxpayers should have to bear the burden of keeping people alive in prison for 40 years when they couldn't even demonstrate the most basic of human decency and respect for life. Why should I give a crap about your life when you cared so little you can stab a pregnant woman who was begging for her life and that of her child 16 times?

Fuck you Susan Atkins. I hope the tax payers in CA demand they stop treating you. That they cut off your pain medication and let the cancer eat your brain.. slowly.. painfully. I hope you have to beg for sympathy and compassion and that someone looks you right in your face and tells you to die in a fire.

Well.. I feel the need to counterbalance that rather morbid rant with some good wholesome comedy. I can't imbed this video ( 2 parts ), but trust me. They are worth watching. Bill Engvall is a riot and this story is funny as hell. Go.. now.. watch. Let me know what you think.


Part 1
Part 2

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Dinner and a Movie

First off.. quick announcement. I added music to the blog here.. its set to play once only and I will change the song as I feel like it. If the music bugs you, feel free to just hit stop on the little player on the right and you don't have to listen.

There used to be a regular Friday night feature on either TBS or USA called Dinner and a Movie. Some obnoxious hosts would make dinner while they played some edited for TV movie. The typical dinner/movie date is pretty cliche I know, but when you are 2000 miles apart from your girlfriend, you find yourself wishing you could do those kinds of things.

Lisa and I realized we both had a copy of 10,000 BC that we hadn't watched yet and so we decided to do dinner and a movie .. long distance. She wanted chinese food and since she was talking about it, I decided to go get some myself. The good chinese place in town doesn't deliver so I went to go get mine while she ordered her food. Come to find out the chinese food place she wanted to order from isn't open on weekends... yeah.. a food place not open on weekends? WTF. Anyway, she changed her location and got some pizza ordered and I arrived home with my chinese.. general Tso's chicken. I am not sure if they let the general know I was taking his chicken, but it was tasty so he can get bent.

We got all settled with our food, got the movie queued up and I called her on the phone. Thank god I have charter cable telephone and unlimited long distance. I have certainly gotten good use out of that! It took us about 4 tries to get the movie synced up, but we did. So we spent an evening with some good food and enjoyed a movie together. Talking, laughing, joking around and having a great time together. We didn't like the way the movie ended. Lisa being very upset that a certain person was not as dead as she was hoping (don't want to spoil the ending) .. but overall it was an entertaining film.. which is all I really expect out of a movie. A couple hours of entertainment. This one made better by the fact that I got to share the time with Lisa. <3

I know you may be thinking the whole thing is kinda cheesy, and maybe it is a bit, but unless you have tried to maintain a long distance relationship for any length of time, you wouldn't understand. We do what we can to spend time together and enjoy each others company between trips. Luckily its not too much longer til she comes to visit again. This time we are taking a trip up to Canada for a few days while she is here for our 1st annual Cessation guild meet. Cess is the online gaming guild I started with my friend Brian almost 10 years ago now.. and we are meeting a bunch of the people we have played with off and on over the years.

If you are thinking about starting a long distance relationship, might I reccomend something closer to home? :P I'm not saying it can't be done.. we are doing it and doing well, but its not easy by any stretch of the imagination. When one of us isn't feeling well or having a bad day.. you want to be there to hold them and take care of them. When things are great and they had something to celebrate, you want to be there to enjoy that time with them. And then there is all the other times.. when you just think how much nicer it would be to have that special someone right there with you .. to do all the stupid little things you have to do in your day to day life.

In the end though.. you can't control who you fall for. If the relationship feels good, feels right .. is loving and strong .. you can deal with what you need to make it all work out. The song playing on the blog today puts it pretty well:

It's not what you got.. it's what you give.
It aint the life you choose, it's the life you live.

Things don't always work out the way we think they will. Is your life exactly how you pictued it 5 years ago? 10? The way I look at it, we can either be depressed that our life didn't follow that perfect plan we had all layed out, or we can look around and see all the amazing things we do have in our life, treasure those things and live our lives happy. We don't always get to choose how things play out, but we always get to choose how we react to things and how we let those events affect us.

If you stumble across someone in this great big world that makes you happy and loves you like you love them ... for who you are, then do everything you can to hold on to them. It's a rare thing to connect with someone on that level in this day and age.

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Hindsight? Understanding?

Yesterday I had one of those "oh now I fully understand" moments. It was not a good one for me. I have just been having these moments more and more. Every time I turn around lately I seem to experience situations or do something to someone that has been done to me that I didn't really enjoy.

I mentioned one the other day in regards to my parents and finally understanding what drove them crazy about some of my actions as a kid. It wasn't until I experienced the same kind of situation with my kids that I fully understood. It's always different looking at it from your point of view and not completely understanding where the other party is coming from.

A few months back, I was in a situation that was not pleasant at all. One that angered me and worse, hurt me. Suffice to say it was not a happy time. With a lot of talking, some time and reflection, I was able to move past it and I am very glad I did.

Now you would think.. knowing how I felt, knowing what I went through, that I would have learned from the situation. I would know the danger signs and what to look for. I would know how to avoid it for sure. How to make sure I didn't do anything like that to someone else. You would think anyway. Apparently I am not quite that smart though.

Yesterday I hurt someone I care for in a similar fashion to how I was hurt a while back and I didn't even see the similarities until it was already said and done. I apologized .. and apolgized again .. and again. Yet it still doesn't seem enough. It seems worse because I should have known better at this stage. I should have seen what I was doing. It wasn't intentional by any means, but if anyone should have been on the ball looking for this kind of thing, it should have been me.

The one good thing I guess to come out of this is simply that I have a much better understanding of how the other person felt in the situation I referred to from several months ago. I have a much better understanding how and why it came to pass the way it did. With that understanding, and knowing how I felt at the time, I also quite clearly understand how the person I hurt in this situation feels. I know why they are hurt and upset. I don't blame them for it.

Life sucks sometimes. Sometimes we hurt people we love. Sometimes we get hurt by people we love. Sometimes we are bad people. Hopefully most of the time we are good people. I just hope that I can take in all the good, the bad and the ugly and process it and learn from my mistakes ... my experiences ... my relationships .. and come out the other side a stronger, smarter, more caring person. It doesn't always seem to work out that way, but I will keep trying.

My boys are in Arizona and I hope they are enjoying the pool and spending time with family they don't get to see very often. I miss you guys.


For Lisa .. I love you baby

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I Rock!

That seemed to be the theme of my families visit to WI. My nephew who is not quite 2, enjoys playing Rock Band. He will sit for quite some times with the game on practice mode and bang away on the drums or he will pick up the guitar with his dad and play some. At the end of every song he throws his hand up in the air and yells "I rock!" It was about the cutest damn thing I have seen.

I had a wonderful time visiting with my family. We hung out together, played some games and ate.. a lot. Caught a couple of movies... Wanted and Hancock. Both were entertaining, but neither is a 'must see' in my opinion. My boys left yesterday afternoon with my family for a couple of weeks in Arizona. So as suddenly as chaos arrived, it departed again. I went from having 8-10 people in my apartment to no one but me. Quite the contrast.

Back to work this morning.. and it feels like I haven't been here in forever. It was kind of odd in that I was on vacation for 10 days visiting my girlfriend in LA and then came back to work for a few days and then got sent to the madison property for a week and then was on vacation again most of this week. In reality, I have spent maybe 5 days at work here in the last month. They had quite an eventful few days from what I heard this morning. So sorry I missed it. Ok.. that was just a lie. I am glad I missed it. :P

So now its back to work. Back to the grind. Fortunately its only a few weeks until Lisa comes to visit at the beginning of August and we are driving up to Canada for our guild camping trip. I can't wait to see her again. I miss you baby.

I miss my boys and my family that just left, but it was a nice visit and I know my boys are going to have a blast in Arizona for a couple of weeks. Its always sad to see family go home.. especially when they live so far away. I am glad they all came to visit and the we had a great time while they were here.

Oh and here is a random video. I heard this song on the radio somewhere and loved the sound of it. Didn't realize these guys were an old 70s band that are still performing here and there, but I totally dig this song:

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Busy, Busy.. again.

I know I have used the excuse before. As they say, Life happens. Or is that shit happens? :P Lately its been life happening and its been nice. I had a great week last week getting to spend lots of time with my girlfriend. Life had been quite hectic for both of us and we were not getting as much time as we wanted, but last week was quite relaxing and nice for the both of us.

We spent the 4th just hanging out and playing some together online and just talking. Sounds unexciting to most people I'm sure, but we had a great time just relaxing together. You do what you can to spend time together when you have 1800 miles apart.

On Saturday my parents and my nephew Caden flew in and very late that night my sister and brother-in-law drove in with my brothers truck and a u-haul trailer. Sunday was lots of running around unloading, loading, buying matresses, loading again, unloading.. well you get the picture. We had a nice relaxing evening after that just hanging out.

Today the girls went to the casino while the boys took care of some errands that needed to get done and had a lunchtime adventure with Sir Grumpypants (Caden), who quickly reminded me that while he is cute as a button and I love him to death, there is no way I want to go back and do all that again. He decided he HAD to hold the cup of chocolate milk at the restaurant. He didn't want anything else and wouldn't drink if he couldn't hold it. Well it didn't have a lid, so he couldn't until we got a cup with a lid on it which means he threw a fit. I am talking a full on hissy with the pouty face, the grumpy noises, feet kicking, hand waving.. all out. I must say, I really did have to admire his commitment. It didn't matter what you said or did to try and distract him. He was steadfast.

Tonight the boys are going out to the movies. The adults are most likely going to see Wanted while my boys are going to see Wall-E. They want to go see Hancock or Don't Mess with Zohran .. but as neither is 13 and I'm not going with them, they are stuck with a G or PG movie. Bummer for them.

We are doing the whole Brats and Burgers cookout tonight. MMMMMmmmm beer brats. My bro-in-law Jim loves them.. my sister and my mom don't. I think thats pretty unamerican myself.. but hey, what can you do. I introduced Lisa to beer brats when she came to visit in April and she loves them now too.

Well I am off until Thursday still to spend time with my family, so I don't know how often I will get updates up. Deal. :P

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