Randomness

Yes, I realize yesterdays topic was a little random and off the wall. I was extremely tired yesterday morning and was feeling decidedly uncreative, so I asked a friend I was chatting with to help me out with and idea to blog on. He made a couple of random suggestions and then came up with "Bacon: Why is there even any other kind of meat?". That made me chuckle and brought to mind some articles I had seen over recent months, and there you go.

I know I bounce back and forth between the random and funny and sometimes more serious and introspective posts. I guess you'll just have to skip the ones you don't like. That's your perogative as I do this for my own enjoyment and to get stuff out of my head that I don't think to tell people that I don't talk to often, or wouldn't normally bring up in the course of conversation. Today is one of those days, so you are hereby warned and can skip the rest of this post if you so desire. :P

I have discussed perception before, and every day I find new examples of how peoples different perceptions on a situation can greatly affect how that relationship functions. How it can affect those around them without them even knowing it. Lately I have been talking to people about divorce, mainly because things were just finalized on mine. It was a very odd experience. Despite the fact that things have been done for quite a while between my Ex and I, it was just odd to have to announce that in a court, sign documents stating the same thing and then hear a judge officially and legally end a marriage.

So when it was all said and done, it should have been champagne and balloons and a big party right? I was finally free! So why didn't it feel like that? It really came back to how I view marriage. I know the divorce rate in this country is over 50% these days. I know some people go into a marriage with that in mind. They get married without really thinking about it. They just think "What the hell.. we can just get a divorce if it doesn't work". I think that is a huge part of why the divorce rate is so high. People don't really think about what it is to be married. They don't look at it like it used to be viewed, as a forever kind of thing. These days its viewed as a 'works for now' kind of thing and so many people jump off the wagon as soon as they hit that first big bump in the road.

So why didn't I feel that sense of joy and freedom on that day? I never viewed marriage that way. Marriage to me is something sacred. Regardless of your religious views, marriage is a lifetime commitment. It is telling someone that no matter what happens down the road, I always want to be with you. It's telling someone that I love you so much, you are the only person I want to be with to the end of my days.

How can I feel that way and still be posting about how my divorce just finalized? I am just a huge hypocrit? Sometimes I feel that way, but honestly my view on marriage is still the same. For marriage to work though, both parties need to be happy. Oh I know there are going to be tough times and unhappy times and stressful times, but on the grand scheme of things, you need to make each other happy. If that is not happening, then at the most basic level, things are not working. I can't pinpoint where things went wrong. I can't point to one thing and say that if I had done something differently or she had done something differently, everything would still be good. Bottom line was that we both made mistakes that built up over time and we got to a point where we were not happy together in a marriage.

So what does that mean? Did we give up? Take the easy way out? Far from it. I am not going to go into details and I certainly don't feel the need to explain my choices, but we didn't take the easy way out. Not by a long shot. The whole situation was made even more complicated by the fact that I have two amazing boys with my ex. I didn't want them to have to deal with the stigma of being the child of divorce. I didn't want them having any ideas in their head like kids often do about who is to blame and why it happened. I know its pretty much the norm nowadays.. kids dealing with divorce. I know a good number of their friends deal with the same thing. Still didn't make it any easier for me to deal with putting my kids in that situation.

So, I had to come to a tough decision. A tough realization. Was it worth trying to keep things together just for the kids? Was it worth just staying together for the sake of appearances and not wanting to break the vow's of marriage? Even when things were not good? Was seeing their parents still married, but not happy together a better option than seeing their parents seperated, but still friends and still providing that safe and loving environment for them? As I said, my boys are amazing. I know that I am biased, but I think if you talk to anyone that knows them, they will say the same thing. Their capacity for handling everything going on has been just incredible. They adjusted quickly and adjusted well to the new situations. They are still happy, healthy, fun, outgoing kids who do great in school and outside of the normal annoying kid stuff are well behaved and a pleasure to be around.

As I said, divorce is common these days. All around I see friends going through it as well. Different situations, different reasons, but usually it boils down to the fact that they are not happy and going through the motions day to day when you are not happy in a relationship wears on you. If things aren't improving or changing, it will get to a point where it just becomes a bad situation. So what do you do? Try and keep appearances up and avoid divorce? Some people treat divorce as an easy out option, but I honestly think for the most part that people do not approach it lightly and try to fix things and make things work before they get to that point. I think at some point they just sit down, think about things and have to be honest with themselves. Have I made every effort I can to make this work? Even if this or that changes, can we fix things to where we are happy and can trust those feelings again? The answers to those questions are extremely tough. Sometimes they make you work harder to keep things going. Sometimes you come to the realization that it is just not working.

I think that marriages that work long term are based on a solid friendship first. If the person you are thinking about marrying is not someone you would call your best friend, think twice. Are there things you don't feel comfortable discussing with that person? Ok.. there are always uncomfortable topics, but the question really is, "Are there topics that you won't talk to them about?". If there are things you flat out won't talk to someone you are planning on spending the rest of your life with, every single day with, then I would think seriously about how things are going to work long term.

I know this post is long.. and is going to get longer, so grab a beverage and take a break if you need too.. assuming you have even made it this far. :P

I look around at the various people I know going through seperations and the divorce process. Some with kids, some without. I quickly realized how odd my situation was for divorce. I don't hate my ex. I don't want to see her miserable and suffering. We are still good friends actually. We were friends before we got married and while that didn't work for us long term, it doesn't change the fact that we have that friendship. I am very lucky to still have her as a friend. It makes everything easier in being able to provide that stability for the boys and to still have someone you know you can count on in a pinch.

A lot of the people I know are not in that situation. I see so many ugly divorces. People who made a commitment to love and treasure each other for always, suddenly turning on the same people they made that commitment to. It gets vicious, bitter, angry, and messy legally. They manipulate situations to make themselves look good. They manipulate situations to make the other party look like a horrible person. They make things as hard as possible for the other person. They get petty. They go out of their way to say things or do things that hurt the other person.

One thing you find out with being in a relationship with someone for a long period of time is just how to get under their skin. When things are happy and good, you learn those things as stuff not to do. You don't want to hurt them, so when you do or say something that does, you file that away as something to never do again. What angers and saddens me is to see people who you know still have a special place in their heart for that person on some level, suddenly using that knowledge to hurt the very same person the promised to love and cherish and protect for always.

I don't understand it. You are hurt. Ok.. it sucks, but life hurts sometimes. Does you being hurt and needing to deal with that make it ok to do your best to make someone elses life miserable? If you are honest with yourself, don't you think they are already hurting? I suppose there are some situations where one party is just a heartless bitch or bastard who never cared for the other person, but I think that is quite rare and I don't see it in any of the situations with people I know. There was friendship and love there when they got married. So how do you turn on that person you call a friend and on some level most likely still love in a way, and set out to take the knowledge you gained on them over the years to make their lives a living hell?

Does it make things better? Oh maybe it makes you feel better in the very short term, but it certainly doesn't make things better. I am constantly floored .. and angered by some of the things that I hear people have done to their ex's or soon to be ex's. Using kids like pawns to manipulate the other person and the legal system. Using intimate knowledge of the other person to say all the things that you know will destroy them on a personal level. People that go out of their way to make the legal processes as complicated and drawn out as possible. People that go out of their way to spin everything to make themselves look good and to turn friends and family against their ex.

There are some people who say they are still, or want to still be friends with their ex's. I hope that when they say they want to still be friends, that they step back and seriously think about what that means. Being cordial and non-confrontational is NOT the same as being friends with someone. That is how you treat a co-worker or casual acquaintence. If your marriage was based on a strong friendship and you want that to continue, then you need to be a true friend.

Think about your best friends. They are people you can talk to without being judged. They are people you care about and you know care about you in return. They are people that always have your back, that if push came to shove you would do just about anything to help them. While you might joke with and give a friend a hard time, you are concious of the stuff that might hurt them and you make sure you don't go there. You don't speak bad about them to other people even if they do something that hurts you or makes you angry. You forgive them, talk about it, move on and just want them to be happy.

So I guess I would say to those that claim they are going to be friends with an ex.. be it just someone you dated, or someone you were married to, can you be that person for them? If you say you want to be friends, can you put your hurt aside and be that person for them even when its tough. Can you be supportive and understanding when they are moving on with their life? When they start seeing someone else? Can you forgive them when something they say or does hurts you again?

It's not an easy situation and not everyone can do that. If you can't be that person, or don't want to try and still be friends, then at least respect the person you at one point were friends with and loved enough to want to marry, to not be a complete jackass to them. Respect them enough to not be the person that tries to ruin their life just because they hurt you.

Seperation and divorce is never easy. I just hope more people realize that if it gets to that point, that it doesn't have to be a bitter, angry, miserable experience for one or both parties. I am not going to lie and say its fun and games, but if you truly care about them, then show it still and do what you can to make the best of a bad situation. I don't care what the other person did, a marriage or relationship failing takes two parties. Maybe you didn't do anything. Maybe its things you didn't do. Maybe you don't even realize it. Just don't delude yourself into thinking that something like that happens and you are completely blameless.

What is the point of this long rambling, epic length post? Treasure the special people in your life, even if things don't always work out the way you wanted or expected them to. Live your life the best you know how. Be happy. Be the good person even if the other party is not. Make the best of the tough situations, even if they hurt sometimes. Learn from your mistakes and protect yourself to an extent, but don't be afraid to put yourself out there and open your heart to someone again. Life is too short to spend it angry or scared.

If you have made it this far, you should get a medal of some sort. Or at least some kind of prize. If I could, I would take you to Cold Stone for some oatmel cookie batter ice cream with your choice of mix-ins. Since I can't though, I will leave you with a favorite scrubs clip of mine. I see my Marianne walking awwaayayayyayYAYAYAYAYAY...

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Mmmmm Bacon

Sometimes you have to ask yourself.. is there a perfect food? I'm not talking that amazing mix of antioxidants, vitamins and minerals along with a low fat and calorie content. I am talking about a food that is great on its own, but can also make virtually any dish better. To answer this question, I give you .. BACON. Its wonderful on its own. Start adding it to things, however, and it really shines. Add bacon to your omelette for breakfast. Your salad at lunch. Your burger at dinner. Wrap it around a scallop for an appetizer. Wrap it around a filet mingon. What would a BLT be without it?



You know that phrase "bringing home the bacon"? You know how that originated? It was back in the depression era when people were broke and could barely afford to eat at times. People would work for little pay in order to feed their families. The one thing they made sure they had to eat was bacon. Why you might ask? Simple. When life sucks.. bacon makes it better. So when dealing with depressing times, make sure you bring home the bacon and watch how it lifts everyones spirits and helps them carry on!



Ok.. so thats not the origin of the phrase.... or is it? Ever played Balderdash? I like that game and coming up with off the wall answers to questions and then trying to pass it for fact. Good times. If you have never played it.. give it a shot with a group of friends. Alchohol is always a good addition to that game too.



So back to bacon. New research has shown that nitrates can actually help prevent and recover from heart attacks. Bacon has as much nitrates in it as spinach does.. and tastes a helluva lot better. So no more skipping bacon. That stigma that a huge bacon burger is a heart attack waiting to happen is FALSE! Rise up against the anti-bacon establishment! Rage against the green bean! Whoops.. sorry.. got sidetracked there on an entirely different rebelious tangent. Here is a link to the article about the health benefits of nitrates in bacon.



So really.. now that we should all be in agreement about the perfectness of bacon, where do go from here? I will tell you. The trail has been blazed already. Visit this link and follow one man's journey to create the perfect burger. Yes, I am talking about a Bacon Cheese Baconburger. No beef here.. the patty was created from ground bacon. A patty made from bacon, topped with bacon and bacon mustard! Truely genious.



I leave you with a picture of this pinnacle of bacon goodness.

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10 Things You Should Never Say to a Guy

I saw THIS article on MSN this morning .. and the things they added to the list were good enough that I thought I would share it here.

My top few out of the list are as follows:

"Nothing's wrong." I am notoriously bad at missing subtle hints and signals, but if I know someone well enough, I am usually able to tell when they are upset. If I detect that vibe, then you are definitely putting it out there. So to deny anything is wrong, only makes us worried and puts us in a mood that is not conducive to fixing anything or having a rational discussion. We know something is wrong, so tell us. If we ask, its because we care, we want to know, we want to listen and do what we can to help. If we can't fix it, at least we can be there for you. Give us that chance instead of assuming we don't have the capacity to listen or understand. If you are just in a wierd mood that day and nothing is wrong, explain that so we know whats going on. Maybe you are one of those people that thinks its good to keep your partner paranoid and on their toes, but if you want a long meaningful relationship, thats not going to work.

"What are you wearing?" Spit it out already. You obviously don't like the outfit or you wouldn't have said that. Don't beat around the bush. Most guys realize they don't have the best fashion sense in the world and if you want us to wear something specific for a special event, then you better say so or we will wear what we think looks ok and is as comfortable as possible. Plan it ahead a bit.. if you know something big is coming up make sure you talk about it and who's wearing what ahead of time and make sure stuff is tried on before its time to get dressed to go.

"Do you think she's pretty?" Yes. If you catch us checking out a chick, she either has a horn growing out the side of her head and we just can't look away, or she has something hot going on. Maybe she isn't pretty face wise, but I can pretty much guarantee she has a killer rack or a nice ass... something that caught our attention. Maybe she has a low cut shirt on and a satin bra that caught the light and we saw something shiny that distracted us. Regardless of why, remember that we are there with you. We chose you. I am not saying that there are not guys who are cheating pigs that would try to pick up someone while out with a woman, but that is not the norm. As a guy I don't take offense to a comment that you think so and so is hot. Likewise, don't take it personally or think that because we can look at another woman and think they are attractive, that we want you to look like them.


The rest of the list on that page is very good .. and the responses he posted to them are worth a read. I would like to add some of my own to the list:

"Let's Go Do xxxxxx! It will be fun!" Insert random activity that you would find fun when there is nothing going on one Saturday afternoon. Say a sidewalk shoe sale, or clothes shopping, or a free jazz concert in the park. Try to understand that if a guy is sitting on the couch watching the game or vegging with a book, he is probably quite happy where he is and not looking for something else to do. Most guys however will do what you want if its handled right. If we want you to do something, we know how to bribe and bargain with you. If we want a weekend trip with the guys, we know we are going to be spending the week before and after doing extra stuff around the house and doing things you want. Its the bargaining process. It works both ways. If you want a guy to give up what hes doing to relax, then bargain with him. Something like "If you go to the craft fair with me today, I won't bug you to do anything tomorrow when the playoffs are on and we'll just order pizza and hangout." Most guys will jump at a chance to have a guaranteed time where they can be lazy guilt free. Then it's their choice to go with you too.. which means they are not going to grump around like they will if you guilt them into doing it. If all that fails, promise to do something dirty you know gets them going. :P

"We can do that ourselves." Not all guys are handy. Or maybe they are handy with a few certain things. You want to run and terminate a Cat5 computer network in your house and add in a wireless router for laptops, TIVO and your XBoxLive, then I'm you man. You want me to do plumbing? I don't think so. Know what you guy can realistically do without getting extremely pissed, hurting himself or others, or screwing up so badly that you have to call a professional to do all the original work over again and fix whatever else got hosed up. Its not that we don't want to be the Norm Abrams of your world, most of us just know our limitations and while we are happy to try to do the little stuff to keep things running, if its a major project you need to seriously think about talking to someone who knows what they are doing. Some people love to spend a weekend building a fence or landscaping the yard again. Most guys however see that as work and the last thing we want after a hard week at work .. is another job to do. Yes, some things have to get done and they will, but if you have your heart set on a project and wanting it to be exactly a certain way, talk to us and see if we think we can do it. If we can, we'll say so because we want to impress with our handiness. If we can't, listen to us please and let's save and hire a professional.

"I gave you a hint back in March!" Look, most guys won't catch a subtle hint unless you put that hint on a bat and hit them between the eyes with it. And even then, the concussion and damage to short term memory probably means they won't remember it anyway. Guys like to get gifts that you want. We, however, hate shopping...with a passion. We like to go in.. get one specific thing .. and then get the hell out. If there is a gift holiday coming up and you want something specific, then don't hint, say so. If you want it to be a surprise, then give us several options and let us pick. Mabye we already have something in mind, but I guarantee that we will always takes suggestions and ideas, to file away for the next gift purchase if nothing else. If you don't offer guidance to a non-shopper, then don't be upset about that Salad Shooter you just got. The woman on the commercial seemed overjoyed to get one and honestly.. there is some entertainment in being able to turn a head of lettuce into a projectile weapon.

Well thats it for now. I hope you check out the article as its pretty funny and quite accurate for guys in general. Oh I know that not every guy fits every statement, but in general they are right on the money. Just remember. Guys are not sublte creatures and while your best girlfriend might pick up on all your little gestures and actions and know exactly what is going on in your head, we don't. Even if we have been with you forever, we don't. Speak clearly, directly and use small words and we'll all get along just fine. ;P

To my male bretheren whom I have thus offended with my callous and egregious generalization of our capacity for the understanding and comprehension of complex vernacular, I offer my humblest and most sincere apologies.

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The cake is a lie!

Some of you will get that title, but most of you that read this will have no idea what it is about. I played through a game called Portal this weekend since I had a quiet afternoon on Sunday. For those of you who haven't heard of it, it is a relatively short, puzzle based game. It took me about 4 hours all together from start to finish to figure out the game and then get through the 19 levels.

The game runs on the Half-Life 2 graphics engine. If your video card is beefy enough to handle it, the game looks gorgeous at higher resolutions. The game is relatively straightforward in that you are basically trying to move through areas and get to the next elevator location to move on. There are doors that require buttons to be held down to open.. so you use cubes from various locations to hold them down. How you get to the button or the cube for that matter is via portals. Eventually you get the ability to open both blue and orange portals so you can shoot your blue portal up high on a wall over a ledge somewhere and then shoot your orange portal into the wall where you are standing and it will open a hole that will put you right where your blue one comes out.

Its hard to explain really and the concept overall is not super complicated, but it does have some tricky areas and there are usually multiple ways to solve the same problem. It was a very interesting challenge and a nice departure from all the stuff normally made by Valve which produces the Half-life series and its usually first-person shooter type stuff.

This game was getting amazing reviews and ratings from everywhere. One of the things most commented on and enjoyed though even more so than the puzzle part of the game was the voice acting. There is a computer system call GLaDOS in the game that is basically running a narrative as you move through. Some of the comments it makes are just downright funny. It added a whole new dimension to the game and made it that much more enjoyable.

If you haven't checked it out yet, its worth the price of admission or a borrow if you have someone who has it on a Steam account they are willing to share with you. It's not long, but worth the time to experience it. I leave you with the Portal ending song sung by Jonathan Coulton:



And speaking of Jonathan Coulton.. I first heard of this guy when he did a lounge singer type cover of Sir Mix Alot's song 'Baby Got Back'. Its a riot and you should check it out as well.

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One of THOSE days...

Yesterday was very hard.. in a number of ways and for a number of different reasons. I am not going to delve into it here, but I just wanted to say thanks to the people who were there for me. You know who you are.

For quite a while now, life has been full of drama it seems. Every day there was some new twist, some new crisis, some new emotional nutkick. It was crazy. It just seemed to be non-stop for a while. Stress like you wouldn't believe and dealing with issues I won't even beging to write about in a public forum. I am sure some of you can relate though. Everyone has their own drama and bullshit to deal with. Everyone has some of the "crazy" in their life. Every one of us is a bit crazy in their own right, me included.

My drama has started to calm a bit and for a week or so there, my stress level was going down nicely. Then yesterday hit and wow.. through the roof again. Yesterday I had to do something I never expected to have to do in my life. It was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do. When it was done.. I felt sick to my stomach. I certainly felt like I had failed. In many ways I have to have failed to end up arriving where I did yesterday. I am truly sorry for the mistakes I made along the way that hurt you.. that drug us down that road.

You know how you picture something going down in your mind.. have it all played out how it should go? I guess I thought I had an idea how things would be yesterday and how I expected them to go. I will tell you it was nothing like I expected. I was not really prepared for how it all happened or the feelings I had. It didn't get much better as the day wore on. Come to find out that G lost his new glasses at the waterpark on his fieldtrip. Then I expected my evening to go a certain way and while it started that way, it didn't end how I had figured it would.

I know this is all very cryptic, but this is an odd situation for me with my blog. Ideally a blog is a place to toss out ideas and how you are feeling and just random nonsense if you feel like it. I don't like using a public forum though to go into details of my life and others close to me.. so I do it this way so I can try to get some of my feelings out without putting info out there that I feel shouldn't be. If you don't like it or find it too confusing, then don't read it. :P

Again, to all my friends and family that have been supportive through many different situations lately, thank you. I couldn't make it through all this stuff without you. Much <3

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Big Head

Last night was my son's spring music concert for his middle school. He has been doing the school choir thing since about 1st grade. Although they didn't have much choice about being int he music program back then, now its purely voluntary. He enjoys it and is good at it, so we love to go see his performances every year. They do a winter program around xmas time and then the spring show towards the end of the school year which is what we just went to see last night.

First up for the evening was the 5th grade group. Who should walk up onto stage but Sasquatch herself. Yep, the girl from the soccer team. I kept wondering if I tossed a soccer ball on stage right then if her instict would have taken over and she would have done one of her wild, arm waving charges at the ball and kicked it way into the audience. I bet she would have.. no matter how many kids she had to take out to get it done.

As the 5th graders were getting into position, we were talking about how the boys all seem to still look like little boys, but that some of the girls when they get all dressed up for those events look more like young women and less like 5th grade girls. We watched their performance which took about 20 minutes or so and then as they were exiting, we saw this little 5th grade girl who had this .. well for a lack of a better term.. slutty dress on. Makeup, bright red lipstick and shoes with a small heels on them even. Hair was all done up. I noticed her at the same time K did and she said to me "See, there is one that does NOT look like a little girl anymore" to which I replied "Sure she does.. providing that the little girl you are referring too is a philipino hooker" Yes, bad people.. I know.

6th graders are up next and here comes my son. The first few songs are standard stuff that they were all singing together. I remembered again the real reason I think my son is in choir still. Sure, he loves to sing, but the female to male ratio in 6th grade choir is about 8 to 1. Throw in the fact that the choir teacher is hot too... yeah.

The end of thier set is a 12 min long medley of disney songs. As they are going through them, my son and another little girl come out for a duet on one of the songs. He is up there with her, confident, poised and sings loudly and clearly into the mic. Most of the kids stay way to far back and you can't even really hear them, but he got right up there and belted it out. He did a wonderful job and together they sounded great. I know you are going to say I'm biased, but it was the best out of any of the solos / duets done.

After the show, we are in the lobby talking to him and congratulating him and two high schoolers come up to him. A junior and a senior.. kids 5-6 years older than him. They congratulate him on a great performance and start telling him to stick with choir, that he has a great voice and stage presence. They were talking about how much fun the choir is in high school. My son is just smiling, excited to have these older kids talking to him about how good his perfomance was. Now while I didn't hear it personally due to my position, I have it on good authority that the junior, as he was walking a way, muttered under his breath something about the fact that being in high school choir will get you laid a lot. I am just glad it was muttered quietly and B didn't catch on to that one.

As we are trying to make out way to the door, other older kids were coming up to congratulate him and other parents were stopping him to say what a great job he did up there. Now I'm a parent, so of course I am happy that he is getting all the praise, but we decided we better get him out of there before we got to the point where were going to be concerned with his head not being able to fit through the door. It was a good night though and he really did do great.

On a personal victory note, both boys have agreed to drop the shaggy dog haircut look in exchange for some kind of color highlights on spiked hair. They agreed to clean back and sides with shorter hair on top that they can spike as long as they can do something unique and fun with the colors / highlights. DEAL! /victorydance

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P I M P

So I was having lunch with some friends at work at the sports bar where we tend to watch sportscenter while we eat. Now I am not a major sports nut or anything, but I like to keep up on basketball a bit still and its always fun to watch the crashes from nascar and the good plays from all the boring sports condensed down into a couple of minutes.

I am half watching sportscenter, which is typically your "manly" channel to watch, while talking with everyone. Out of the corner of my eye I see something bright pink flash onto the screen. Pink is not a color normally associated with sportscenter so I had to see what it was. Seeing that it was such a "mans" channel the first thing that came to mind when I saw pink.. well nevermind that. Anyway.. here is what I saw:



Even if you can't watch the video.. you should be able to see what I am talking about. The guys name is Don Cherry and he is notorius for sporting crazy and outlandish outfits, but I must say, it takes some big stones to get on sports center wearing a flourescent pink floral print suit complete with white carnation and light pink tie. What was he on there to discuss you wonder? Hockey of course! I mean that guy must be using a suit like that to provoke fights because he wants a chance to experience the penalty box too.

If people can get away with saying that these are fashion trends, then why not flourescent pink flow print suits?:





If I ever saw this guy out in a bar wearing that suit, I would definitely buy him a round and toast his bold fashion move. Why? Simply because I know that anyone wearing a suit like that is expecting to get some crap over it and is probably looking forward to it. Someone like that wouldn't hesitate to shank you and then wipe his blade off on your clothes so he doesn't stain his suit! I'm just saying.. tread lightly around those wearing pink suits or anyone wearing a katana as part of a well planned outfit. Those guys are just waiting for you to start something.

Just one last thing as a public service announcement. If you like sushi, please be on the lookout for salmonella. I know what you are going to say.. "But you only get that from raw poultry" I say Nay Nay.. look at the word. SALMONella. Clearly salmon is a fish and therefore this illness must have derived its name from raw fish so PLEASE watch how much raw fish you eat .. like sushi. If you doubt my logic, please read the following. You will quickly see the beauty of logic such as this.

Sir Bedevere: There are ways of telling whether she is a witch.
Peasant 1: Are there? Oh well, tell us.
Sir Bedevere: Tell me. What do you do with witches?
Peasant 1: Burn them.
Sir Bedevere: And what do you burn, apart from witches?
Peasant 1: More witches.
Peasant 2: Wood.
Sir Bedevere: Good. Now, why do witches burn?
Peasant 3: ...because they're made of... wood?
Sir Bedevere: Good. So how do you tell whether she is made of wood?
Peasant 1: Build a bridge out of her.
Sir Bedevere: But can you not also build bridges out of stone?
Peasant 1: Oh yeah.
Sir Bedevere: Does wood sink in water?
Peasant 1: No, no, it floats!... It floats! Throw her into the pond!
Sir Bedevere: No, no. What else floats in water?
Peasant 1: Bread.
Peasant 2: Apples.
Peasant 3: Very small rocks.
Peasant 1: Cider.
Peasant 2: Gravy.
Peasant 3: Cherries.
Peasant 1: Mud.
Peasant 2: Churches.
Peasant 3: Lead! Lead!
King Arthur: A Duck.
Sir Bedevere: ...Exactly. So, logically...
Peasant 1: If she weighed the same as a duck... she's made of wood.
Sir Bedevere: And therefore...
Peasant 2: ...A witch!

For those of you that don't know where thats from..shame on you. Here's the link:

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Bad people..

Its soccer time again and last night my son had a game. He had missed a couple with our NY trip and being sick last week with a stomach flu, so this was the first one I got to go to this spring season. So there I am sitting on the sidelines with K and her mom to watch the game. It's all the same kids from the fall season and so we are pretty familiar with how they play.

Game starts and all is well. Our team scores early and I am impressed how well the kids are playing together and really going after things. Last fall when they started playing, most of them were timid and afraid to get in there and get the ball. Now they are attacking and passing and scoring. They had a total of 7 goals in the game which is more than I think they had in the entire fall portion of the season. Pretty incredible.

There is one little girl.. who is tiny for her age.. and a giant sissy. She happens to be the coaches daughter and a waste of space on the soccer field. She is skittish and afraid of the ball and contact with another player. The only time she kicks it is when it rolls near her and no one else is around. I am silently mocking her in my head when I overhear K say something snarky to her mom about this girl. I was happy to realize it wasn't only me who thought this kid was dragging the team down. I know.. its a bad thing to say about a little girl.. but damn.. play or get off the field!

Game is going on.. and she is subbed back in. Now she is playing midfield .. right in front of where we are sitting. The other team is driving down the field right towards her. Every parent on the sideline is yelling for her to get in there and get the ball. The boy coming down the field realizes he has a teammate further up field and decides he is going to kick it hard down to him. The boy's aim was a bit off however and his power kick went right into this girls face. You know that scene in a western where someone gets hit with a shotgun at close range and it blows them back through a window? That's what this reminded me off. Her head snapped back with the impact and she went straigt backwards and landed hard. Maybe she didnt actually get knocked back much.. but as I replay it in my head she certainly does!

I know.. I should have been concerned for this kid.. but the sick demented person in me was trying to supress a smile and a chuckle. Yes, I am a bad person. I should have been concerned for the well being of this poor kid who go clocked in the face. But nay nay.. all I could do is try not to laugh as I replayed it in my mind. It reminded me of dodgeball days in school when you weren't supposed to hit anyone above the shoulders, but sometimes the ball "slips" you know. Right to the kisser! K being a good person unlike me runs out to help the little girl. I guess the mom instinct kicked in. As she was coming back though, she says something under her breath about how at least the girl will be out of the game for a while now and we can put in a good player. AHA! See now I don't feel so guilty.. I am not the only bad person out there.

I have a nickname for another girl on the team. I call her Sasquatch. She is at least 4 inches taller than anyone out on the field, including the boys. She is a big girl too and has no skill or finesse for the game of soccer. She does love to run at the ball and kick it as hard as she can though. Is it out of line to call a 4th or 5th grade girl Sasquatch? Of course it is.. doesn't mean its not funny.. and its certainly fitting. I mean this kids whole tactic is waving her arms and yelling as she runs to kick that ball. She uses her size and noise to scare the other kids away from the ball and really.. its quite effective most of the time. You should see the smaller kids shy away if she is running to the ball.

So as I sit and make rude comments in my head about the kids .. I look over at one of the fathers sitting there and remember seeing him last season too. He definitely has a full on Billy Ray Cyrus mullet in effect. It was even more pronounced than the last time I saw him. I just wonder who he has in his life.. how has no one told him to lose the mullet. Sure I know, "Business up front, Party in the back" sounds good on paper, but in all seriousness, friends don't let friends rock the mullet. Ever.



So yes, I am a bad person. I laugh at little kids getting knocked the hell out by flying soccer balls and I mock random mullet wearers I see during the day. But hey, if you know me, you probably already knew that I was a bad person, so this is not a shock.

As we were getting ready to leave, I was looking around for my older son. Where did he go? Oh, there he is on the other side of the field, hanging out with not one, but 3 cute girls his age that he knows from school. I am scared with that one already. He is definitely moving into that age where girls are no longer just another person to hang with, but rather a member of the "opposite sex". Oh yes.. bring on the teenage years .. middle school.. high school. He is outgoing, fun, sensitive and thoughtful and of course has my devestatingly handsome good looks.. so I am going to have my hands full dealing with that one as he goes into that phase of his life I think. Wish me luck!

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Spaghetti and Kickball!

Last night I went with the boys down to the last meeting for my older son's youth group before summer break. They announced that the meal was going to be spaghetti on a board. I had no idea what that was, but apparently there is a restaurant somewhere locally that serves family portions of spaghetti on a big board they just put down in the middle of the table and people dig right in and grab it off there. So that was the concept last night.

How it all played out was even a bit crazier than I pictured. Long tables covered in plastic table cloths.. no boards, no plates. Just people, spaghetti and a fork. The noodles were put in piles down the lenght of the table, sauce was ladled right on top and pretty soon meatballs were rolling all over the table. People were just pulling piles of spaghetti towards them. Most of the adults were using utensils.. but some of the kids didn't even bother.. just started grabbing spaghetti with their hands and shoveling it in. It was quite a sight to see.

After dinner it was time for a rousing game of kickball. Instead of picking teams, they somehow decided it would be the seven high school age kids against all the middle school age kids... about 15 of them. The high schoolers were taking it seriously while the middle school kids were in various states of annoying fellow teammates, afraid to try and catch the kickball or just plain sitting in the field watching as the ball flew by them time and again. The high schoolers won with a score of about 45 - 6 or so, but much fun was had by all.

Watching the game brought back memories of kickball from elementary school in upstate NY. We lived and breathed kickball. Every recess and lunch break.. everyone would get out there as fast as they could. Captains would be decided on quickly and teams formed in a matter of a minute or two and away we went. Often we would continue games for all the breaks in one day.. meaning we didn't even have to spend those precious few minutes repicking teams. I'm sure the picking was traumatic for some so it was a relief to only have to do it once a day. Not me however, as I was an all-star kickball player. If only it were a professional sport.. I would be famous! My friend Blue and I dominated the kickball scene. Yes, his name was actually Blue.. its not a nickname. :P

One thing I noticed as I stood there watching the kids have an epic game of kickball until it was getting dark.. was that my son who's current hairstyle drives me insane, had the same look as half the other kids his age, but that most of the high school kids had cleaner cuts. So I am hoping this is a short phase! Currently my older son is trying to have a hairstyle that makes him resemble this:



I am trying to pick my battles and realize that this is not a big issue.. but it isn't easy. I am doing better though.. baby steps. :P

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Happy Birthday!

The special woman in my life has a birthday today so I just had to say:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BABY!

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It's not easy..

As I was browsing for a clip from Scrubs for yesterdays post, I stumbled across this one. It was labled as "The best quote out there from Scrubs". I watched it of course as I was expecting one of the hundereds of moments from the show that make me laugh. As I was talking about my love for the show Scrubs with a very special person in my life, she said something along the lines of "It's a silly show.. and thats why you think its so funny.. because you are silly" I thought about it and I guess thats not too far off the mark. I find I am often silly with my boys and with friends. Its fun. The rest of the time I like to maintain my scary, angry, never smiling demeanor.

Anyway.. back to the clip. Like I said, I have so many scenes and quotes from scrubs that just crack me up. Like the "What has two thumbs and doesn't give a crap? Bob Kelso" quote. That kind of stuff slays me. So that is what I was expecting from a scrubs clip about the best quote out there. I was quite surprised that it was nothing of the type at all. It was actually rather serious, but I thought of all the areas the quote applies to .. and how true it is. Check it out:



Now Kelso is talking to a girl who wants gastric bypass surgery to fix her weight problem. I don't remember what Turks issue is at the time that he finds the advice fitting to, but it is true for so many thing. "Nothing that is worth having, comes easy." As I am working to loose weight myself, I know how hard it is to be good on a daily basis, to eat healthy and keep going to the gym when I would rather go home and relax. That quote applies to so many more things though. The more I thought about it, the more I agreed with it.

When I think about the stuff going on in my life.. things are seldom easy. Think about the relationships you treasure in your life...be it friends, family or that special someone. Are any of them truly "easy"? When it comes down to it, all relationships are work..and the good ones are worth working hard to keep. Even if they don't always work out exactly how you expect them too. It's true though, life is hard, and there are no magic fixes.

Life can be scary too. It's hard putting yourself out there in relationships. To truly open yourself and allow your feelings to be out there where they can be stomped on. It's far easier to just guard yourself, protect yourself from getting hurt. But then you have to ask yourself, how are you going to ever have that connection with someone that makes life great? Is it worth the risk of getting hurt to potentially have something amazing? It like gambling with your emotional well being. It's scary. Again though, nothing worth having is easy. Ultimately, if you want something bad enough, I think you will suprise yourself what you are willing to go through to get it.

Take an athelete who spends 5 hours a day training his body and his skills to be as good as he can be at something. They are working hard to be the best at what they do. Then take another athelete from the same sport who takes steroids and other drugs to get better with less work. Maybe it works for the short term, but in the end they will get caught or the drugs have a negative effect on their body and they ruin themselves in the long run.

To all those people who are putting in the hard work day in and day out to make things happen, I salute you. Find the things in life that are important to you and put in the work, and take a chance. Life is scary, but it is far better to be scared and take a chance than it is to just sit back being afraid to live life. Nothing in this world is guaranteed. Nothing is for certain. Its possible that you can try something and fail. But then you know what doesn't work, so learn from your mistakes, pick yourself up and do it the right way next time.

I think I spent too long hoping, or expecting things to be easier than they were. It took me a long time to get to where I am now. To realize things I guess I knew deep down but didn't want to or wasn't ready to deal with. Now I understand that the best things in my life are going to require some work. That things don't just appear and everything is all puppies and rainbows. It takes time and patience, understanding, and a strong desire to make things work no matter what life throws at you. Sometimes it seems like there is no end to the craziness of the world around you. It's then you talk to your good friends and family and let them help you and support you. Do the same for them when they need it.

"Let me break this down for you Bob-o style" Take that big chance. Go after the things you want no matter how hard it seems. Just be ready to work for it. When you finally get what you want, it will be that much sweeter. You won't take it for granted. You will realize how amazing things are and be thankful everyday to have those people and achievements in your life.

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Still Climbing..

As I drove to work this morning I realized that in just the last couple days.. gas has gone up almost another 20 cents a gallon. Right now in my area that puts it at 3.79/gal for regular unleaded with premium sitting just over 4 bucks a gallon. Everything I am reading says this will only continue and that there is no end in sight to the rising oil prices. Toss in the fact that gas always climbs some during the summer months as people do their vacation driving during this time period and we are in for an expensive summer.

My biggest pet peeve with all this is that people are getting very very rich off the whole thing. Check out this little news blurb on the great year Exxon had last year:

Thanks to surging oil prices, the company beat its own record for the highest profit ever recorded by a U.S. company, with net income rising 3 percent to $40.6 billion last year. The company's sales - over $404 billion - exceeded the gross domestic product of all but the 24 richest countries in the world.

40.6 BILLION in profit. Not sales.. but PROFIT. For one year. This beat its previous couple years which were also absurd. If you add the top 5 oil companies the number is even more retarded. It is around 123 Billion in profit last year. I have a very hard time stomaching four bucks a gallon when companies are making that much money. OPEC is controlling the flow of oil and not increasing output despite the fact that the price per barrel has double over the last couple of years. But then, why would they? They produce the same amount of oil.. and make twice as much money.

Supply and demand. I guess I can only hope that the rising gas costs force a change in mentality in the consumer as the only way to send a message is to lower the demand for gas and oil. There are a number of options including hybrids, biodiesel, and just fuel efficient vehicles in general. I was reading today that recent studies have shown that for every 10 miles an hour faster you go, you lower fuel efficiency by 3-4 MPG. Obviously there is a maximum efficiency you can get based on your engine regardless of speed, but they are talking about the effects of wind resistance at highway speeds mainly. This is of interest to me due to the fact that 95% of my driving is highway. Essentially if I drive 65 instead of my usual 74, I should save about 3 MPG. Over the course of a week that would average out to about 1.7 gallons in fuel savings. Which at todays prices saves me about $6.50 a week which equates to about fifty cents a gallon in fuel savings.

I am going to try this for the next few weeks and let you know what I find out. My only hope is that the absurd increase in gas prices forces people to start making smarter decisions. I will be the first to admit I love a big vehicle. I loved my Dodge Ram with the 5.8L V8 in it. I love the idea of owning a big SUV. But nowadays, I am very glad to be driving what I am and getting 23MPG (hopefully 26 this week!) instead of the 11MPG I got in my truck.

What amazes me is that companies like Exxon are not using these incredible profits to find the alternatives. I know there is still oil left, but wouldn't it make more sense that while you have the big profits and cash flow, to future protect yourself. I know oil has been great to you, but imagine if you could be the first to the market with a serious lower cost alternative? I'm not business major, but if my main source of income was a product with a high demand and a finite amount available, I would certainly be looking ahead to the future and what my options are going to be when it runs out.

I know a lot of people are up in arms about how the government is still putting oil away in the strategic oil reserves despite the cost of gas. I would argue that this is a good thing. No matter how you slice it, we are a nation dependant on oil. If I went to the pump tomorrow and they said that I could only buy 10 gallons of gas, well then I would only be going to work two days this week. The strategic oil reserve when full will have somewhere around 750 million barrels of oil. While this may sound like a lot, at our current oil usage rates, this isn't even 3 months worth of coverage for oil imports. Right now its 0.3% of the daily oil supply that is being put into that reserve. You are talking about 11 cents a gallon if they stopped that all together, which would be nice, but it wouldn't stop prices from climbing and would just leave us more vulnerable to a sudden oil import issue.

I wasn't around when they were rationing gas, but I cannot imagine the impact it would have on this country. Take cars and getting to work out of the picture. Could you imagine the impact on the cost of goods? Everything has to be transported around the country. If fuel had to be rationed, how would that effect the flow of these goods? How about travel. What kind of effect would that have on airlines or just you ability to drive your own car somewhere out of state? It was not cheap for anyone to get to NY for my Grandmother's funeral, especially on short notice with the airlines, but it would have been near impossible had there been fuel shortages of some kind.

I'm no tree hugging hippy by any means, but I am concerned. More for the econmic well being of our country. Sure the environmental impact is a factor too, but I dislike being so reliant on foreign countries for a product that we are basically at their mercy. They use this leverage on a regular basis to bend us over a barrel. Cmon.. did you catch that? Bend us over a BARREL .. barrel of oil.. see what I did there? If you are not laughing.. I don't like you anymore.

So now that I had a quasi political/environmental/financial discussion, I leave you with a video. A friend of mine was talking about how he was sitting around with a group of friends and they were listening to old 80s music and how all his friends were singing along to songs he didn't really know, but that he could remember every word to the Sugar Hill Gang song. This weekend I was rewatching my favorite show of all time.. Scrubs.. and the episode with the Sugar Hill Gang alarm clock was one I watched. Here is the clip:

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So I caved...

People have been trying to get me on Myspace and Facebook for a while now. I have been resisting. I am not crazy about myspace and I had heard things about privacy issues with both services. After doing some research and going through their privacy options that are avail now, I created a Facebook page. I know.. M-0-C-H me if you must, but I was surprised how easy it was to setup and its seems a lot cleaner and more "mature" than myspace.

If I have this part of things figured out, you will be able to view my blog posts through the facebook interface, but it doesn't seem like video links come through at all so if you want to see those you'll still have to come here. Not that the videos are super important, but you could miss something immensely entertaining.

I put in my high school and year I graduated when I set my profile up.. and lo and behold I found a bunch of names I recognize from high school. Pretty cool to see where people are now.. scattered all over the country.

Anyway, it seems like an easy way to share photos and general fun info. If friends or family reading this are interested in setting up an account and need some help or tips, let me know and I will do what I can although I am fairly new to it myself. You have to have an account and request to be a "friend" before you will be able to view photos or post comments etc. on my page.

Someone emailed me for help picking out a laptop and sent a link to a dell one with a line that said "I want one of these because it comes in pretty colors" /sigh At least she didn't annouce she was going to buy a MacBook or something rediculous like that. :P

With Mother's day coming up.. I just had to post this video for you:

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Good Times, Sad Times

I am back.. and once again survived about 30 hours in the car with a 10 and 12 year old and no adult to have a conversation with. The drive both directions was very uneventful. Very little traffic and almost no construction on the route we took. It wasn't hard.. just a long drive. I am so glad the boys and I got to be there though.

The services on Thursday and Friday were not easy, but I didn't expect them to be. That was where the sad times came in. Even as prepared as I was, the sadness was still there. Still had a hard time believing she was actually gone.

The good times were there too and I know she would be happy knowing that we were still gathering in her house and enjoying each others company like we used to. Family came from all over.. Oregon, Arizona, Wisconsin, Virginia etc. All made the trip to be there. The funeral was Friday early afternoon, so after that was over we had the rest of the evening and all day Saturday to spend time together. It was nice to be able to catch up with everyone and be there to support each other. I got to see some people I grew up with as a kid that I haven't seen in over 15 years. Pretty crazy to talk to someone you used to play flashlight tag with who know is married and has kids and a job etc.

It was great being able to spend time with my family even though it was not the best circumstances for a get together. If you have been reading my blog from the start, you know about Elvira. When we were talking about things with sentimental value we might like to take with us from Grandma's house, I said I had dibs on the Oak Ridge Boys tape. My dad looked at me and said that his mother didn't own an ORB tape. I told him bet me. I went over to her stereo and sure enough.. second tape down was the ORB Greatest Hits. My cousin's husband fired up the stereo and put it in.. and the first song is of course Elvira. My cousins and I start singing along while everyone looks at us like we just sprouted horns. I will tell you though.. by the third time through.. we had 3 generations of the family signing along. You just can't help it.

Whenever we have a family get together.. we always end up playing cards. This time around I learned a game called "Oh Hell" (there are other names for it too) and of course Hand and Foot. Hand and foot is one of my favorite card games to play.. but they were playing but wussy NY rules.. which while still fun, takes a lot of the challenge out of it in my opinion. Its always fun to get a group of people together like that who like to bullshit and give each other crap while we play. Makes it very entertaining.

Just like old times, I spent a lot of time talking with my sister and cousins. Stayed up to 3am one morning just talking. Its nice to have that kind of relationship where regardless of the time that has passed since you last talked, you just fall right back into it. My cousins are great down to earth people that you can just talk to about anything. I was very thankful they were both able to make it. My boys and my cousins kids all get along great and they spent a lot of time running around together.

I saw lots of interesting things along the way .. but in true juvenile guy fashion the thing that really cracked me up were various street names I passed. My favorite was "Fangboner Rd." That just made me laugh for some reason.. the thought of people that live on that road and have to put that on return addresses or have to give people directions .. "Yeah .. you just take a left on Fangboner.."

Its a good thing I'm back home now and able to go to the gym again. I swear all we did was eat for 4 straight days. There was so much good food. At one point on Friday night we had about 30 people together for the evening meal and there were meat trays, huge pans of lasagna and pasta dishes, salads, sesame chicken, deviled eggs, veggie trays, and two tables full of desserts. Did I mention that we didn't even get around to bringing out the 22 Whole roasted chickens someone had cooked for the occasion? We probably could have fed a small 3rd world country for a week with all that food.. lol. But we didn't have to cook for the rest of the time we were there as there was tons of leftovers.

The trip is over and we are back to the everyday. Which is good in some ways and tough in others. I leave you with a video that needs a bit of background. My kids like this song called 'Crank Dat' by Solja Boy. Yeah, its some hip hop song that they hear in gym at school when they have indoor recess. So my younger son asked me to make a CD for him before we left for NY with all his favorite songs on it. He wanted that one so I went to download it and apparently I downloaded the wrong one. I got "Crank Dat Spiderman" instead of "Crank Dat Solja Boy" .. my bad. Even though it wasn't the right version, I still had to suffer through it about 10 times on that trip. So I was on my laptop checking my email and such and my bro-in-law tells me to search for a video his friend sent him a link to. Its the drummer from Blink 182, Travis Barker, who is just insane on the drums and was doing a drum overlay on some hip hop songs. So I search for Travis Barker on youtube and lo and behold, the first one that pops up was his version of 'Crank Dat'. So we watched that one and I must say it was an improvement over the original. Still not enough that I would listen to it regularily, but then we watched his version of 'Low' by Flo Rida and I enjoyed that one. It had some rock guitars in it already, so the addition of the drums added a nice touch. So I am going to share that one with you. If you want to see the other.. thats your choice, just search for it. :P

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