Now THAT's Marketing!

So here at work they have these bulletin boards. You know the kind where employees can put up notices. Stuff for sale, services, pets people want to have adpoted by a loving family etc. I glance at them as I walk bye every day. I can't help it. I don't know why exactly. Maybe I am secretly hoping that someone is going to be selling a 60" HD Plasma TV for $12 and I am the only one that notices the flyer stuck behind some other one that has a used baby high chair for sale. Or it could just be general curiousity. We have a lot of employees here, so the notices are many and varied.

With so many notices up there, you tend to be drawn to pictures and certain words that grab your attention. Today I am walking by.. glancing at the ads like I always do and I stop dead in my tracks. Words had jumped out at me from among the jumble. Want to take a guess on what those words were? No.. sadly it wasn't "Free Plasma TV for anyone with a blog and goes by the name Blade when online". Also as sad, it was not "Salma Hayek is single, thinks you are hot and wants you to have her personal cell phone number". What did catch my attention on a flyer was "Amputated Leg".

I had to stop and say to my self W.T.F.? Who is selling an amputated leg? Is that even legal? Is it like sealed up and laquered? Does it come in a big barrel of formaldehyde? Is there a big market for amputated legs that I am missing out on? I mean I have heard of a black market for kidneys and livers and such, but legs? Think about it.. kidneys are all pretty much the same size, but legs on the other hand.. don't work quite the same way. If you are 5'1" .. which is REALLY short BTW, and the only leg you could get on the black market was from someone who was 6'2", life would be a little, shall we say, lopsided for you from now on.

I had to know more and so I scanned the board and found the ad. Turns out they were NOT actually selling an amputated leg. They were selling power tools. The ad said something like "Must sell power tools as I had to have a leg amputated". Now I SHOULD be feeling horrible right now. None of my thoughts at the time were "Aww .. poor guy. That must suck." In fact my first thought after realizing that it was power tools for sale and not a leg was "Did he require the amputation after a mishap with the power tools?" Followed quickly by "Is he offering a discount for the ones with blood on them?" and "Do you think he got all the chunks off them?"

Ok.. ok. Yes, I am a horrible person, but if he did have an accident with the power tools, those are perfectly legit questions. I also wondered if he really wants to sell the power tools, or if its one of those situations where he has a wife / GF standing over him going "SEEEEEE.. I told you that you shouldn't spend that money on power tools and motorcycles, it was just a matter of time before you hurt yourself. It's all fun and games til someone has to have a leg cut off!" Is he secretly wondering if he could use that band saw to somehow remove her vocal cords?

I didn't look at the prices or what he was selling really because I don't have the space, money or time to make use of power tools right now, but I must say tossing the words "Amputated Leg" in an ad for power tools is a great marketing idea. Seriously, if it can cut a leg right off.. it should have no problem with a 2x4 for your deck project! Thats craftmanship right there!

On the bright side, at least the guy is all set to go as a pirate this year for halloween now. He can get himself a REAL peg leg for some authenticity! Not many people can pull that off. And then put it back on. And then take it off again and beat annoying people with it. It is so versatile. I would get one made out of a shovel somehow so I would always have one handy in case I ever ran into Snaggletooth.

Now I have to apologize for the content of the above post. My excuse is that I am tired and in a rather demented mood. I'm not like this all the time or anything. :P

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Its a different world

I think back to even 3 or 4 years ago, and halloween was such a different event. It entailed picking out or helping pick out cute costumes for the boys. They went as things like Power Rangers or pirates. The ex and I had to take turns watching the door for kids coming to get candy while the other walked with the boys as they went door to door looting candy. I would watch patiently from the road as they would walk up to the door, costumes worn awkwardly over warm clothes (hey.. halloween is cold in WI), to get the candy. They would be chilled to the bone, but the thought of free candy outweighed the discomfort and they often begged to keep going as long as there was room left in whatever container they were using that year.

Halloween this year is going to be much different. I was in charge of costumes this year. So I started talking to the boys about what they wanted to do and what I got was this conversation:

Me: So what do you guys think you are going to want to do for costumes this year?

B: Oh.. I have to have a Barney Rubble costume.

Me: Barney Rubble? Why Barney Rubble? Do you even know who he is?

B: I know he is from the Flintstones and that is what our group is going to go as. Kimmy is going as Betty and .... (i tuned out a bit here I have to admit as he listed who in his group was going as who) .. and I got stuck with Barney Rubble.

Me: Ok.. we'll see what we can do for a Barney Rubble costume if thats what you want to do. So you have made plans to trick-or-treat with friends then?

B: Yeah. We are all going to meet up at someones house and go from there.

Me: How about you Gabe? Any thoughts on what you want to go as this year?

G: Oh I am going with MarMar (knickname.. don't ask.. I don't know) and Karen and we are all going to be hippies we decided already.

Me: Hippies? Do you even know what a hippy is?

G: I know they wear wierd clothes, had big hair with headbands and huge sunglasses.

Me: Ok then. Hippy it is. We'll see what we can find. You can wear your big green clown wig as a psychedelic 'fro.



You notice how Dad was not included in any of those plans other than making sure they got the costumes they wanted? I see how its going to be from now on. So we went to the costume store on Monday night. The store on the west side of Madison is great as they have pictures and descriptions and available sizes for all the costumes on these cards that are all displayed on the back wall. You go pick what you want, have the employees standing there write down the number and they call it in for you and you go to the window and pick it up to try on. No fighting with people to find sizes or have stuff all over the shelves and floor etc. Great system.

We found a hippy outfit for Gabe. They only had adult sizes which is fine anyway, kid sizes are really getting too small and they wear them over warm clothes so they need to be big. Just have to pin the legs up so he doesn't trip. They had a Barney Rubble costume as well and I was about to point it out to B when I noticed him staring at the weapon rack. All manner of swords and axes, sicles and knives and other instruments of destruction were there. I looked at him and asked him if he REALLY wanted to be BR for halloween this year. He shook his head and said no, that he would rather wear the mask he had with the long black hooded robe he has from last year, but could he get some cool weapons to go with it?

You bet! Lame BR costume or dual wield some badass cleavers? Far cooler to look like you could maim someone in my opinon. So he spent a few minutes browsing the assortment to pick out his perfect weapon combo while Gabe and I went to find his costume to try on. He comes over to where we are carrying two of these:



Me: Wow.. those are actually very cool. So you are going to dual wield those?

B: Yeah.. they are awesome.

Me: How are you going to carry your candy? Do you think maybe just one would be better so you have a free hand?

B: (thinks a minute) No .. I will find a container I can put over my wrist some how so I can still have two axes.. I think it looks much better if I have one in each hand.

Me: Fair enough .. you go ahead and get both.

B: SWEET!

Gabe came out with the pants on his outfit about a foot and a half too long and everything a little big, but we'll make it work. So off we go. Quick stop at Target to pick up a few things and then the kids are complaining about being hungry. So across the street is a place we seldom eat as there isn't one close to us. Taco Bell. We grabbed dinner quick with the kids taunting each other on how much and what level of hot sauce they were willing to put on their food.

We drive home and I ask Gabe to get the mail while B and I unload. He finds letters from Nana and Grandad in the mail. They open the cards with halloween jokes in them. My mom had made up and additional joke as well. Something about where ghosts go to eat and the answer? "TaaaaaCoooOOOooo BeeellLLLLlll" (say it in a spooky ghost voice).

See many years ago.. and for the life of me I can't even remember why now, Gabe would say that he wanted to go eat at TaaaaCooooOooo BeeeellLLLll in a ghost voice when it was around halloween. I don't know how it started or where it came from, but he did it so often that season.. every time he would see one, or hear a commercial or anything. It stuck. My mom thought it was the funniest thing and to this day.. years later, it sticks with her still. Thus the joke to mention it again in his card.

Gabe just HAD to call Nana right away. He thought it was the coolest thing ever that he got the card after we had just eaten there for the first time in probably over a year. Funny coincidence, but to G it was imperative to call Nana right then to tell her about the experience. After Gabe talked for a bit, I actually got a chance to talk to my parents as well.

Convo with my Dad:

Dad: So is it snowing there yet?

Me: Actually.. it did snow today. Just some big flakes. Light flurries and nothing stuck.

Dad: Yeah.. umm.. it was 147 here today.

Ok.. maybe he said "93" and not "147" .. but really, it's almost November. 93 is as absurd as 147 at this point! Oh how I don't miss the desert. I miss being closer to my family for sure, but I sooooo don't miss Phoenix.

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Sore Winners, Good Losers

A couple weeks ago I was playing some games with the boys. We played some card games, a little Rock Band and then we played some Defenders of the Ancients or DotA for short. We had a good time. By the time we got to DotA, which the boys discovered at the LAN party and now LOVE, they wanted to play several rounds. I played against the two of them and won. I played once with each of them and then again on my own.. and won all the matches. I taunt them a bit while we play if I kill their heroes the same way they do if they kill mine.

Bedtime rolls around and they are in their room getting ready for bed. I hear this steady clack..clack..clack. I figured the fan they have in there was blowing something but if they were ok with it I let it go. I don't hear it with my fan on and door closed anyway. I hear a few muttered words in there.. with a bit of a 'tude .. and then silence other than the 'clack'. Not long after my older some comes in and says that he can't sleep because G is being 'obnoxious'. So I go in to see what the deal is and its not the fan, but G himself repeatedly knocking one of the blinds into the wall. He is still dressed in all but his shoes and lying on top of his blankets.

So, I start to try and figure out what is going on. B goes back to bed and I start talking with G. He is angry, upset and has tears in his eyes. I don't know what turns kids into a big bag of emotions at the 10-12 year range, but it happened with B and now he is going through it as well. The littlest things will set him off. Tonight it was the fan. They share a fan to creat some white noise and they both like the air circulating. However, there is no good way to position it so they both get the breeze directly on them and its a box fan so it doesn't oscillate. Apparently he had been getting up after his brother went to sleep and point it directly at him and then going to sleep like that. At which point B claims he ends up waking up from being to warm and can't go back to sleep when he does that. That is what the harsh words were form earlier.

So.. this has become a full blown issue. I had him put his head at the other end of the bed and then put the fan blowing in between the two of them and suddenly he had all the air he wants without moving the fan. Crisis solved right? All is well? Not so much. He is still upset. I ask whats wrong and he finally blurts out "YOU ALWAYS WIN!"

Now I take a minute to think about that.. and we talk about it. He is old enough, 11, where we can actually have a rational discussion. I asked him what I always win at because he and his brother can hold their own and win in the card games we play. They trounce me in the Monkey Speed game we played. G is better at guitar in Rock Band than I am at this point. He said "you always win at computer games".

I had to explain that I have a lot more experience with strategy type computer games. That I had been playing them for years and years and on top of that I had more experience playing DotA in particular from previous LAN parties. The rest of our conversation went something like this:

Me: Think about it for a minute. Would you REALLY want me to just let you win? To not try my best?

G: Yes.

Me: Really?

G: Well.. no.

Me: Ok.. tell me why.

G: Well I know I will beat you eventually when I get better at the game and I want to know that I beat you fair and that you weren't letting me win.

Me: So you are ok with me doing my best to win even if right now it means you are losing most of the time?

G: Yeah.. I will get you soon.

Me: That's the attitude you want. Look at a loss as a challenge, not a defeat. If you lose, figure out what you did wrong, or better yet, what I did right and encorporate that into the next round.

G: I will.


All calmed down and with renewed determination to win, he finally drifted off to sleep. No doubt with dreams of visciously slaying my heroes and leaving their dismembered limbs strewn across the field of battle.

It was an interesting experience and discussion. Its wonderful to be able to sit and discuss something and have them have those kind of insights now. We have since had discussion on being winners and losers and how to handle both. They have both since beaten me at DotA. It didn't take them long to figure out the tougher strategies and learn how to use them to their advantage. So I had to graciously admit defeat and say Good Game even though my competative side wanted to tell them to stop playing a cheap class with the IWIN button. Sometimes it sucks to have to set a good example when what you want to do is go off and tell them how lame they are and that they just got lucky that time. That the sun was in my eyes. That my system was lagging.

We have had to have some discussions on attitudes while playing.. and in accepting defeat or graciously winning. Its become very important as of late as both of them are getting more and more involved in competative sports. They know that when its me and them, we are going to do a little trash talking and give each other a hard time. They also have to know that at any other time, they need to know how to be .. sportsmanlike. I always thought that was a horrible word for describing how to behave in a competative environment. They need to understand that being a obnoxious winner is just as bad as being a sore loser. That no one wants to play with someone who has a bad attitude.

All in all, I think they get it and they are trying. They still have their lapses and bad moments. But then so do I. :P

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Jammin

No.. not talking about Bob Marley this morning, but rather technology that jams cell phone signals. Right now, the only people allowed to use cell phone jamming technology legally are the federal government agencies. State agencies cannot.

Why is this a problem? State prisons are looking for a way to block cell phone signals inside prisons. Cell phones are being smuggled into prisons and inmates are using them to continue running their illegal businesses, order hits on people or coordinate escape plans. Obviously they are trying to stop the cell phones from getting in, but they are still making it through. Some states want to install jammers in their prisons to prevent cell phones from being used inside the prison even if they did manage to get one in.

Right now, the federal government won't allow state agencies to use them. Not even prisons. This is absurd. I know you don't want every state trooper running around with a cell phone jammer in their back pocket, but very restricted use for a situation like the maximum security prisons seems like a reasonable request to me. The rules have to keep up with the changing technology. But hey, we should make sure life doesn't get too inconvenient for convicted criminals. Right?

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Ass Paint

Yeah.. I know its not everyday you see a title like that. They are repainting the hallways the employees use to enter the casino. Normally this would not be a big deal. Sure you don't want to touch the walls when they are wet and you have to deal with fresh paint fumes for a couple of days, but overall a minor inconvenience.

Not the case however when they are using ass paint. I don't know what else to call it, but the normal paint fumes were .. lets just say "off". As we were leaving the building last Friday and again on Monday, there was this smell. We quickly identified that they were painting, but that didn't smell like any paint I had ever encountered. It smelled less like fresh paint and more like someone was doing some king of scat art in the hallway. I mean seriously, if you have to take an emergency dump, there are plenty of bathrooms in the facility, you should not have to resort to the closest paint can.

Even if that kind of emergency arose, I would say that its ok to just go ahead and declare that can of paint to be off limits. Go ahead and cap that bad boy off.. tight. Put some biohazard tape on the top. Then bag it. Then box it up. Put that box in another box and then mail that box to yourself and when it arrives.. SMASH IT WITH A HAMMER!

Ok.. don't really do that. It would void the purpose of sealing it up in the first place and you would now have ass paint everywhere. That was a movie reference actually and if you didn't get it.. you are missing out.

But I digress. Lets just SAY NO to ass paint. There is no reason for you to be putting a fresh coat of paint on the walls and have it smell like a porta-potty was just tipped over in the hallway. I would rather have the old paint and less ass smell. I just pray that it dries quickly and the smell goes away.

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Too Hot or Frozen

If you watched the clip I posted about the hot pocket, you will remember him talking about the two ways you can eat a hot pocket. Still frozen in the middle, or boiling lava hot. That is the same way my office is.

We have a temperature control on the wall for just our room. It is just a slider with left being cooler, right being warmer. Its supposed to have a 10 degree range in temperature. So if they building is set at say 65, then if you leave it in the middle it will be at 65, all the way to the left would be 60 and all the way to the right should be 70.

It actually works out more like:

All the way left = Fingers numb. Can see breath. Penguins are wearing scarves and hats.
Middle = does not actually exist.
All the way right = WTF.. when did we move the office to Arizona? Throw some steaks on the desk, they will probably cook quick.

With all of todays technology, this is seriously the best temperature control we can come up with? If you know me, you know I don't get cold easy. So when I am shivering at my desk and my hands actually hurt from being so cold, its DAMN COLD. Yet a small flip of the switch and suddenly its like we are in a sauna and I start looking around for someone to pour some water on the rocks for some steam to make it REALLY uncomfortable.

Another of these shocking lack of working technology areas is drive-thrus. Next time you pull up to the McDonalds drive through in your car with On-Star, GPS navigation, sattelite radio, CD/MP3 player, DVD players in the headrest and talking on your phone that can call, txt, email, take pictures and short movies as well as play music and games, really think about the drive through technology. You try to talk to this little speaker. They try to talk back. It sounds like you are trying to intercept an alien transmission from deep space. Hell half the time I am tempted to pull off the speaker cover and confirm my suspicion that it is indeed a can in there with a string tied to it.

Its just a bad combination. You only need an IQ of about 4.73 to work at a fast food restaurant. Most employees are kids who, while they like the paycheck, hate working. And they really hate working drive through on a weekend when they could be doing something fun. So you take a kid who doesn't really care about the job he is doing and then toss in the fact that they have to try and decipher what they hear through that static filled radio and is it any real wonder that they get orders wrong or incomplete so often?

Well I must go turn the thermostat back to Ice Age as my eyes are drying out from the hot air that is slowly turning the office into a waypoint on the journey to hell.

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Let there be rock!

As my boys and I were playing through a set on RockBand 2 yesterday and we came to Let There Be Rock by AC/DC, I started thinking about the fact that they are getting exposed to all this cool music. Not only exposed to it, but find they like a lot of different stuff and have been requesting I put some of the songs on their MP3 players.

As I was playing WoW online with some friends yesterday, we were talking on Ventrilo. For those of you unfamiliar with it, Ventrilo is a voice chat server that we use to communicate easily while we play. Well everytime I queued my mic to talk, they could hear the tap-tap-tap of the drums coming from the other room where Gabe was trying to bang out Joan Jett's Bad Reputation on expert drums. Yep, my 11 year olds favorite song right now is by Joan Jett. Go figure. Not the Jonas Brothers, not Miley Cyrus, not High School Musical 47 - The Golden Years.

I was talking about this with one of the guys in my guild and saying how cool it was that the boys are getting an appreciation for many different types of music. From classic rock to funk, metal to pop rock and lots of stuff in between. If you are not aware of what kind of music is available, check out the list here. We actually downloaded the entire Blood Sugar Sex Magik album from Red Hot Chili Peppers a bit ago and have been having a blast playing through the tracks on that one. The guy I was talking to is into music quite a bit and as we were discussing the challenges of some of the songs we were playing, this conversation happens:

Krunnk: Your boys are older though aren't they?

Me: Yeah they are. 11 and soon to be 13. Teenager.. ughh.

Krunnk: Must be nice to hear them playing that kind of music.

Me: I am glad to see them listening and playing a variety of stuff.

Krunnk: Lucky.. you know whats playing in my other room? (Krunnk Sings) I LOVE YOU, YOU LOVE ME....

Me: AHHHHH Barney. Sucks to be you man. I had to go through that. Just think.. next is Telletubbies or The Wiggles!

Krunnk: Kill me now. Please


Ok.. so he didn't really ask me to kill him, but I could tell he wanted to but didn't want to freak his wife out who was also on Vent with us. Barney does that to people. Turns your brain into mush. Drives you insane. I mean really. You want a way to make a prisoner talk? You don't need physical torture, you need Barney. Put him in front of a big projector so barney is like the size of Godzilla. Tape his eyelids open, crank the volume and let Barney dance around in front of him singing for 24 hours. Its enough to make the strongest man crack. I am normally a peaceful person, but something about Barney makes me want to punch kittens or hit Kirsten Dunst in the face with a shovel. Ok.. fine. That was a lie. I always want to hit Kirsten Dunst in the face with a shovel. That was not incited by Barney at all but rather the fact that she is a horrible actress and looks like a troll that should be living under a bridge making deals with goats for safe passage.

But anyway, I was out to dinner with my brother and his wife and mother-in-law for Jenae's birthday and somehow the Jim Gaffigan comedy routine about hot pockets popped into my head. Here's the video for those that haven't seen it. Check it out, its a riot and its clean if you are watching at work or have delicate sensitivies.

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I said back off!

As I was browsing CNN.com this morning.. delaying getting any real work done at work.. I stumbled across the article entitled "Woman beheads man, parades it through streets". Well color me intrigued.

The short version is that the woman went into the woods to cut grass for her cattle. Apparently a guy who had been stalking / harassing her came up behind her and attacked her. To save her dignity she kicked his ass and then beheaded him with her sickle and then paraded through the streets of her village in India with the head dripping blood still. Article is here.

I don't know about the woman's dignity, but I am pretty sure no one is going to mess with her. Even if she does end up having to serve time for killing him, it should be pretty easy for her as no one is going to mess with the woman that likes to carry her decapitated heads with her on a parade through town.

Maybe this guy got what he deserved, but its still a bit over the top that she didn't just defend herself, but killed and decapitated him and then decided to show her friends in town what a severed head looks like. She should have taken it home and put it in some formaldehide so that she could put the head in a jar out as a halloween decoration. I mean how kickass would that be?

Bottom line.. if she has a sickle and has told you she really doesn't want to go out with you, best just leave her alone.

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Uno Mas Cerveza, Por Favor!

Yeah.. thats about the extent of my spanish speaking abilities despite living in Arizona for 10 years. Im sure its not spelled right, but as long as you were sober enough to get something close to that out, they would bring you another beer. Unfortunately it was usually a Tecate. If you have not had the pleasure of trying that beer, just understand that it is the Busch Light of Mexico. It would probably be about as enjoyable to collect all the beer left over at say a football game, pour it into a big vat and let it sit in the sun for a few days and then bottle it and drink it. Yes.. its THAT good.

The reason this all came to mind today was an article on CNN about Nogales, Mexico being added to the US Travel Advisory alerts. See article here. I went to school down at UofA in Tuscon.. which is a mere 60 miles from the border with Mexico at Nogales. If you are unaware, there is no drinking age in Mexico, so it was a popular place to go for college kids. For the sun and atmosphere of course. No one was looking for booze or anything.. rest assured Mom.

We would sucker someone into being a DD and drive down to the border. Park at the McDonald's on the US side and walk across. We had interesting times down there. I don't remember seeing any violence down there, although at one point I did fear for my safety. It was not due to political tension in Mexico though. Rather it had to do with the rather large drunk guy we had with us.

See we had gone down to have a few drinks at one of the clubs there. Well one of our friends, Matt, decided he wanted a few beers. A whole bucket of them to be exact. We ordered a bucket for the table and he ordered a bucket for himself. He proceeded to drain 6 beers in about 45 minutes and despite being a big guy, he was drunk. So when they started the tequila congo line, he through that was a great idea and joined in.

In case you aren't familiar with the tequila congo line, image a 5 foot tall mexican with a massive bottle of tequila standing on a ladder while drunk partygoers congo under the stream of tequila he is pouring. Now most go through quick for a shot or so worth and then leave the dance floor. Matt however made several passes for good measure and was taking his time going under each time.

So now, he is PLASTERED. I mean barely able to function as a human being plastered. That didn't stop him from stealing beers from our bucket. As the night went on, it got worse, not better. Now we were all about ready to go and we realized that we had to somehow get him back across the border. I mentioned that he is a big guy. I forgot to mention that this club is in the basement of the building and there is a long steep flight of stairs to gain access to the street.

Matt can't even stand at this point, much less walk. There was no way he was going to navigate the flight of stairs without killing himself. So we got on either side of him and maneuvered him to the stairs. Problem is, the stairs were also narrow, meaning we couldn't stay on the side of him and get up the stairs. So one of us was pulling him and the other two were pushing.. trying to get him up the stairs. We had a whole bar full of people watching.. waiting for the ensuing tragedy of 4 college students dying in a drunken fall down the stairs.

After about 15 minutes of struggle, we managed to get him up and out with only minor injuries. What we came out of the bar too was a major street party. Normally this would have been cool and fun, but when you have a big drunk guy barely able to stand much less walk, and there are drunk mexicans standing.. sitting.. lying all over the street, the last thing you want is your drunk ass friend stepping on people and starting fights.

There were many tense moments as he we tried to control his careening around the streets towards the border crossing. He was loud, obnoxious, bumping into people, spilling drinks and getting dirty looks. I was just waiting for the whole thing to turn into a bad scene out of El Mariachi. Fortunately, we made it to the border with only one knife fight. I have the scar to this day, but the other guy was much worse off. Ok ok.. so the scar is from my apendix removal, but the knife fight in Mexico is a much cooler story so I am sticking with it.

Now the border guards are quite used to drunk college kids coming back across the border. Its not a rare thing. I don't think they expected what was coming that night though. As we push Matt across the border, we were getting our IDs ready. Matt however decided it was time to make a bold politcal statement and pulls his pockets inside out.. stretches them to the side and yells at the top of his lungs "HOOVER FLAGS!" Ummm... wtf?



Yeah.. so apparently Mr. TooDrunkToWalk just remembered some obscure history fact he had read back in high school somewhere. Here is the jist of it:

When the U.S. stock market crashed in 1929, President Herbert Hoover attempted to stop the U.S. economy from spiraling into what has become known as the Great Depression. Although President Hoover took action, most people agree that it just wasn't enough. Upset at Hoover, people began to give items that represented the economic crisis negative nicknames. For instance, shanty towns became known as "Hoovervilles." "Hoover blankets" were newspapers that homeless people used to protect themselves from the cold. "Hoover flags" were pants pockets that had been turned inside out, symbolizing a lack of money.



Now why on earth he picked the border crossing to remember this or why he thought it was a good idea to put on his little demonstration at the top of his lungs in the face of the border guards, we will never know. We managed to settle him down enough to get out his ID so we could cross, and headed for the car. When we thought we were done with wierd stuff for the night, we had an illegal who had snuck across the border somewhere creep up to our car and beg us to put him in the trunk and take him to Tuscon with us. The car was full.. but he didn't care.. the trunk was OK with him.

I know.. sounds like the plot to a bad National Lampoon movie. 4 college kids on their way back from Nogales with an illegal in the trunk! What could possibly go wrong?

Anyway.. I guess if you go for a ice cold Tecate or a flaming shot down in Nogales these days, bring your passport.. and your body armor. And whatever you do, make sure you don't drink the water. If you do.. you will be looking for the closest gun battle to put you out of your misery. :P

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Hmm.. I missed it.

Apparently my previous post was my 100th. I didn't see any banners, fireworks. No big prizes were awarded and I still haven't caught my sisters post count. Oh well.. someday.

I had a wonderful vacation for those that care. A very busy vacation. Flew to LA and spend a day with Lisa before we drove to Las Vegas together for the weekend. Met my sister and brother-in-law, my cousins Jan and Jamie and their spouses for a fun relaxing time. We gambled some, mostly with the casino's money, ate dinners out together and hung out playing cards, talking and drinking. Then it was back to LA where I picked up my rental car and spent Sunday evening with L before heading to Phoenix the next morning.

I spend most of the week in AZ staying with my sister and surprising my parents. I had a great time getting to see them all and spend some relaxing time just visiting. I didn't go anywhere or do anything really, just spent time hanging out and talking with them. Then on Friday I headed back to LA to spend the rest of the weekend with Lisa before heading out on Sunday morning for WI.

Everyone always asks "So what did you do on your vacation?" While I will say I did more on this trip than I normally do with the Vegas side trip and actually gambling and doing dinners out etc., I am normally one of those people who go on vacation to relax, not pack my week so full of stuff so that I need to go back to work to recover from vacation.

If you have ever seen Bill Cosby's standup routine / movie called 'Himself', he talks about the things people do to themselves in the name of fun. Mainly he is referring to drinking. He was talking about how people in the office would announce that they are going to go out and get drunk because they "owe it to themselves" to have a good time. We all have done it at one point or another. I know I have. I owed it to myself to drink with friends and have a good time. Drink to the point where you are sick.. puking in your friends sink for 45 minutes (sorry Amy). You wake up the next morning and your mouth has the texture like you have a dead rodent stuffed in there. Your head hurts and your stomach is still rolling. Ahh... you owed this to yourself right?

Maybe its because I am older and wiser now. I just had a birthday so thats the reason I am going with! I just don't look at having a good time the same way I used to. I was staying with my sister with a fridge full of cold beer and I didn't even get a buzz the entire time I was there. Thats not to say I didn't have a beer or 5.. but I enjoyed them and was not looking to get drunk. I had a few beers hanging out with my parents when they were over or later at night talking with my sister or just hanging out out back at her place with a good cigar and a crossword puzzle. (Mom just pretend you didn't see the cigar part) I blame my parents for getting me hooked on crossword puzzles now btw.

Maybe its getting old. Maybe its just that I have learned to slow down and appreciate more of the little things in life that make it enjoyable. I would almost say maybe its me finally becoming mature, but if you know me well, you know thats simply not true. :P

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Viva Las Vegas!

So this morning I left the house for vacation again. A nice long trip this time. It was 40 degrees outside as I left the house.. in shorts and a t-shirt. I was a bit chilly and I am pretty sure some of you are getting the chills just thinking about 40 degree weather, but there is a reason I wasn't in jeans and a sweatshirt. I went from my house to my car to the airport. Once on the plane, its always warm with that many people packed in a small space. Also.. I was leaving the 40 degree weather and headed for the desert.

I watched all the people filing on to the plane.. in their jeans and sweatshirts and jackets and moched (yes I know its spelled mocked) them silently. As we were getting off the plane in the CA desert.. they were all complaining about how hot it was on the jetway.. and I laughed to myself. Poor planning people.. poor planning.

It was a largely uneventful flight, although I cut it closer than I like getting to the airport. Left a little later than I wanted and then hit both construction and some early morning traffic. Still made it on time, got my car parked at the long term place and got the shuttle to my terminal. Fortunately I had checked in the day before, printed my boarding pass and was carrying on for luggage, so I breezed through security and made it to my gate with about 25 min to spare.

The flight itself was fast. Scheduled for a bit over 4 hours flight time... it took about 3 hours and 35 minutes. We were at the gate close to 25 minutes early. Im glad it didn't take longer as Ms.Fidget that was sitting next to me was slowly starting to bug me. It wasn't bad or anything, but she was one of those people that can't really sit still and likes to talk with huge hand gestures. I grabbed about 30 minutes of sleep shortly after takeoff and then it was a losing battle. Everytime I would shut my eyes and start to doze at all.. she would bump me enough to wake me up again. I thought about telling the flight attendant that she was not allowed to have anything with caffeine in it for her beverage. :P

We had an uneventful drive back from the airport this time. We didn't get lost once which was an impressive feat. Every other time we have missed a slight lane change or they have closed one or more parts of the route home for construction. Although, as we were sitting at a freeway on ramp meter dealy, we were just talking and then we see a tire roll by us. Not attached to a car.. just a tire rolling down hill along the side of the freeway. I looked back to see if there was a car leaning down like it had lost a tire but couldn't see anyone. We watched it as it kept rolling way out of sight. I hope it didn't run into traffic and cause any problems. Not exactly something you see everyday. Thats for sure.

So here I am.. in the desert. And tomorrow we go to another desert. Or maybe its technically the same desert. I'm not really sure to be honest. Thankfully Vegas is going to have a cool snap for them while we are there for the weekend. Its only supposed to be high 70s, low 80s.. which is about 20 degrees cooler than it is there today. You know.. there is a reason I left Phx. Its October .. it should be cool fall weather. Not 100. It's just not right!

Anyway.. updates will be sporadatic over the next little bit as my computer access and to be perfectly honest, my desire to update while I'm on vacation will be limited. :P Hope everyone has a good weekend. And just to clarify for the peanut gallery.. no, I am not getting married in Vegas. Unless Salma is there and sweeps me off my feet. I am going to vegas to hang out with my sister and two of my cousins that I love spending time with and their spouses. Maybe I'll win big in Vegas. Of course if you win big on penny and nickel slots.. you still only win like 10 bucks.. so there goes that idea. :P Besides.. a special someone is going with me to Vegas.. so I am already very lucky. :)

I leave you with a funny Bill Engvall clip.. enjoy:

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