Hate Hate Hate.. Double Hate! Loathe Entirely!

There is a movie reference there in the title in case you missed it. The movie reference was brought to you today by the Canon corporation the letters "F" and "U". I'm not even sure that the above quote satisfies my overwhelming anger at the people responsible for the atrocity that is the Canon printer driver installer. Let me explain.

One of the departments here decided they needed to replace their all-in-one printer/fax/scanner dealy. So without contacting the IT department... again.. they pick one and have someone come into install it. The first we hear of anything regarding this unit being on our network is when they are waiting for an IP to put into the thing. Somehow this vendor just switches a network cable .. prints some kind of test page and then bolts saying it was working. As you have probably guessed. It was most definitely NOT working.

So.. instead of enjoying a nice quiet day, I spend the better part of 8 hours trying to get the drivers installed on the server side of things and make it function properly. After multiple calls with the vendor and Canon, they say the only way to fix the error I was getting was to download their 40MB installer package and run that. Big mistake. We are talking like Brittney's sister Jamie and her big surprise at age 16 level mistake. This installer package found all the other working canon printers that were installed on the server and decided they needed to be updated to. Before it updates them though.. it decides it would be a better idea to delete them and start fresh. So, unable to stop this thing now that its started its automated process, the program proceeds to delete all of the working printers. Then on the reinstall process of said printers, it errors out and bam.. they are all gone.

After a reboot, the new printer is now working. I was quite frankly shocked to see that was the case. So I decide I'll just reinstall the deleted ones manually and we shoudl be good finally. The server however laughed and said "Nay, nay good sir. You are pooched." I tried to reinstall only to find out that all 7 printers it had deleted were now having the same error that the new one was before this installer "fixed" things. So I went from one non-working printer to 7 and right back to where I started only with 7 times the amount of people pissed off. All the vendor has to say is "Well it should work" You know what else should work? An angry porcupine shoved in a sack and attached to your genital region Mr. ItShouldWorkVendorGuy.

Stupid people bother me. Always have. Salespeople who sell uneeded crap to those who are just too chalk full of stupid to know any better really just piss me off. I imagine the salesperson had a conversation with the staff down there that went something like this:

SP: You really need to get rid of this model since its a year old. Nevermind that it has been working fine that whole time and still does what you need.

Staff: You know you are probably right. We have money we don't know what to do with it. Can I get the new one in hot pink? How about neon undercarrige lights?

SP: Not only can I get you those much needed options, how would you like it if you could do karaoke on the copier too? Its a pretty popular function for those deparments with plenty of both time and money to waste.

**At this point they all break out into song "I got the green glow under my copier. Its got the boom boom system you can hear it far"**

Staff: No wayyyy! We love karaoke down here. We definitely want that. In fact charge us double for it because we like it so much. But one request.

SP: Yes?

Staff: Can you get it here and install it before the IT guys get wind of it? They are not going to like it.

SP: Of course I can. I really only show up randomly at locations when I feel like it anyway, so that works for me. Tell you what. I will also throw in a craptastic drive that will hose their server and take many hours to fix. That way you guys can enjoy your karaoke without them bothering you. Thats free of charge by the way because I like you guys so much.

Staff: Wow. You are just the coolest. Where do I sign?


Sadly enough, while the options are of course exaggerated, the mentality is spot on. Too much budget money they don't know what to do with and an overwhelming desire to buy the flashiest and pointless options they don't need. Then they toss it in and we are expected to make it work. Oh the rage that builds up. If I were a postal worker and not the calm, mild mannered person that I am, the bodies would be hitting the floor. But now to play some Jack Johnson and relax again. Banana Pancakes for the win!