If only..

If you haven't seen the new GI Joe movie.. well.. don't. It's horrible even if you happen to have nostalgia for the franchise as I did. The story wasn't good .. the choice of actors wasn't good. The dialog was painful in parts. Hell, when one of the Wayans brothers is a lead actor in the movie, that should be a red flag right there. The Baroness played by Sienna Miller was a nice perk, but not enough to save this atrocity of a movie.

The one redeeming quality of this movie however was the modified Hummer they were driving during one of the big chase scenes. One of the Joe's was hanging on to the top of the humvee while they were driving and in an attempt to remove him, they deployed this device from the front of the vehicle which is what I have been saying I want for my car for a long time. These big angled spikes dropped down from the front grill and they basically drove them into the back of the car in front of them and forced the car to flip up and over the top of the humvee. IT.. WAS... AWESOME!

All this came to mind again when I was driving home on the freeway the other day. It's 3 lanes wide where I was .. and the speed limit is 65.. which means we are all doing 74ish in the left lane. As we are cruising along I can see a cop in the median about half a mile ahead. Now I expect the usual "Oh Em Ghee! A Cop! Slow Down!" reaction and so eased off the gas myself. The lady in front of me however was apparently so concerned about her speed that she slowed down to FIFTY FUCKING TWO. 52!?! The speed limit is 65 .. which means he isn't even going to think about wasting his time for anything less than 70. So why the FUCK are you doing 52 in the fast lane on the freeway?

If I had that humvee at the time you would have seen that lady's car flipping over the roof as I spiked her retarded ass. Seriously.. what is wrong with people that they think the cop is suddenly going to disregard the fact that he's already gunned you doing 75 simply because you are now going 52 in the fast lane? If you are going to get pulled over.. then you are. Slamming on your brakes and driving like you are on a residential street suddenly only draws more attention to yourself, not to mention is a dangerous way to drive on the FREEWAY.

I thought about ramming her off the road and introducing her to Señor Shovel. My brother said I shouldn't do that in front of a cop, but given the fact that she was from IL and the fact that she was driving like jacktard, I think he would have either helped me or at the very least looked the other direction.

If you can't drive.. get off the road please. Road rage happens for a reason, and that reason is YOU.