Thanks Capt. Obvious

I was reading an article on CNN about a volcano in Alaska that is very active recently and they are predicting that it could erupt. Story HERE. This was your typical science based news story. It talks about activity levels they are recording, the effects on the surrounding areas and what happened the last time it erupted. Apparently the last time it erputed in the 80s, the ash caused problems in nearby Anchorage and they are saying it could disrupt air traffic to the area. Ash plumes could cause engine failure for aircrafts. Might want to keep that in mind if you were thinking about flying to Alaska. :P

As I was reading the article, they were interviewing a 'research geophysicist' who works for the observatory up there. He says that all indications show that something could happen soon, but that they don't know for sure. He finishes up his statements with this line:

"I would not be surprised to see it erupt at anytime," Cervelli said. "We're going to know it when we see it."

Really? So when the VOLCANO erupts.. you brilliant scientific minds aren't going to need your instruments to tell you? You will just know when you see it? I suppose all those years of study and scientific theory are really paying off big now. To be able to look at an exploding mountain and just KNOW that its a volcano eruption... wow. I am in awe.

This guy has the observation skills of an Arizona weather man. "Ummm yeah.. looks like its going to be sunny today. And hot. Tune in again tomorrow for the weather with channel 3 and the supadupa doppler!"

Im pretty sure I could take a child to Mt. Redoubt in Alaska and when the top explodes skyward, ash blankets the sky and molten rock starts streaming down the side setting fire to everything in its path... that the child would look at it and go "Holy shit.. the volcano erupted!" And that without years of expensive education! I don't know who should be more embarassed.. the scientist for saying it.. or CNN for reporting on it as their lead 'expert' source.

Seems like it would be pretty obvious to me.

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Hobos and Prostitutes

Warning: Mom you might not want to read this one. :P Also.. any of you relatives that are nosy busybodies that like to question other people's parenting styles who probably read this on the sly just to make sure I am not talking about you.. skip it too.

Last night I went over the my ex's house for dinner and a movie. She listens to the soundtrack to Rent often and the boys have been asking to see the movie that goes with it. As there are quite a few tough topics to discuss in that movie, we had decided that when we thought they were ready, that we would sit down and watch it with them so we could discuss the issues that were brought up. Needless to say, we had quite a few pauses while we talked seriously about what HIV and AIDS is, and how it affects people. We discussed some of the people and relationships in the movie. I can say I am quite proud at the insightful questions they asked and how well they handled the answers.. most of which were not easy to wrap their heads arounds.

One of G's first questions was of course.. is the whole movie going to be songs like it has been so far? Well yes, it is a musical after all. We watched the whole thing, with all our pauses, and at the end of the movie K asked the boys the question, "What did you think was the main theme of this movie". I could see the look in both boys' eyes that said 'Whoa.. no one said there was going to be a quiz afterwards!'. They thought about it for a minute.. and B says, "I think it was about love." Well damn, that was a good answer! There were so many things he could have focused on, but once again my kids amaze me with what they perceive and pick up on. It was mainly about relationships and love and how events around them affect that.

After the whole thing was said and done, G was clowning around a bit like he always does and K says to me, "Did G tell you what he said on New Years?" I was of course in AZ and didn't see them for several days after, so I said no. G apparently told everyone that when he grew up he wanted to be a prositute and marry a hobo. I was in shock. Why would my 11 year old come up with a statement like that? For shock factor of course, but still.. does he know what the terms mean? Does he have any idea what he is saying? So we asked him if he knew what the two terms meant. He said he didn't know what a prostitute was, so we got to explain that to him. When he found out the meaning he decided he didn't want to be a prostitute after all. /whew

Not to let a good thing go however, he changed his statement. He said, "Nevermind.. I think I will be the hobo and marry a prostitute instead. That way I can do nothing and she can earn the money."

Well lets just keep that tidbit to yourself when people ask what you want to be when you grow up shall we? We are all laughing at this point. Probably shouldn't have been, but it was funny just the same. Let's just hope he keeps telling Nana that he wants to be a Vet or a Zoologist. Don't need to be giving Nana a heart attack or anything. It seems somewhere along the line I made an error in parenting for this to have come up, but hey.. he gets good grades, is polite and well behaved and is an all around great kid. At least he will be a smart, courteous hobo who will treat his prostitute wife well!

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Relationships and Reality

This is a post I have been thinking about.. and putting off. Starting and then deleting. Trying to wrap my head around things. What really got me thinking was stumbling across this blog post as I was following various links around: Link. Shortly after that, I happened to start talking with a good friend from high school that I reconnected with via facebook and our conversations have touched on a lot of the same things as brought up in that blog post.

I started thinking a lot about what I want out of a relationship. What I NEED. What kind of expecations I have. Are the reasonable? Am I completely out of my mind? What is a realistic expectation these days? I don't believe things are as they were 50 years ago. I won't bore you with statistics, but in doing some research I found that the divorce rate now is almost double what it was in the 50s and 60s. I don't know whats different. I can't say if the difference is good or bad. It is different though. I know people say divorce rate nowadays is 50%. I found most statistics showing more like 40% for first marriages, but what I found disconcerting was the statistics for 2nd marriages was more like 60% divorce rate.

I am not in a hurry to get married again. At the same time, I think being that commited to someone.. wanting to share my life with someone enough to want that, is a wonderful thing. How do I avoid being in that statistic? What have I learned in my experiences thus far that will hopefully prevent me from ending up in that place again?

For those people that have been kind enough to share some of their own experiences and indulge me in conversations on the issue, I want to say thank you. Its been very eye opening getting perspectives from women to counterbalance the guy side of things.

In today's world, what is reasonable to expect in a relationship? In a marriage? I think a lot of concepts that were ingrained way back when are rediculous. As the author of that blog post discussed, it is pretty rediculous to assume that just because you are in a relationship and happy, that you would never look at or think about another woman/man. Now don't get me wrong, I am not condoning infidelity. Not in any way, shape or form. Just saying the ancient concept of once you are commited to a relationship with someone that all thoughts and desires for anyone else go out the window is not based in reality. I think its perfectly natural to have thoughts and desires and if you can recognize that and discuss it, you are far better off than trying to pretend it doesn't exist.

GGC talked about how she felt that when she got married, that she was trapped. That when she got married she gave up a lot of what she wanted out of life to be a wife and mother. I think its natural to feel that way. How many movies have you seen where the guy has to trade in his convertable for the minivan? That is often the image projected. That once you get married and settle down, that life must become mundane and boring and not what you wanted. That you can't be yourself anymore and must become super-spouse and embody all those concepts society has tossed out there on how a spouse should behave.

I don't think that is the case, but being in a relationship where two individuals can maintain a semblence of themselves and still forge a shared life is a tricky situation. I started thinking about how people approach a relationship. I started really thinking about how I am going to approach a new relationship. I want to share my life with someone. It's the way I am. I don't mind being single, but ultimately, I like having someone to be close to. Someone to experience life with .. the ups and the downs. Someone I can love and support and who wants to do the same for me. That being said, I don't think a relationship can work long term if one or both of the people define who they are based solely on that relationship.

In the past couple years, going through seperation, divorce, and dating, I have discovered a lot about who I am as a single person who is still a dad with two amazing kids. While I want to share my life with someone, its just that. I want to share my life and hope she wants to share hers in return. I don't want to be her whole life. I don't want her to be my whole life. If that makes any sense at all.

I get that relationships are compromise and take work and enough talking and discussion to make your head spin like a top. I just don't think that being in a commited relationship means giving up who you are. In fact I have come to the conclusion that doing so is detrimental to the relationship in the long run. So how do you find that balance? How do you forge a life together with that special someone without losing who you are?

Ahh the reality of things can be quite scary. Anyone want to take a guess as to what percentage of women dating out there have any interest in dating a guy in his 30s that already has 2 kids and no desire to have anymore? Most in their early to mid 30s are in that 'settle down and have kids' mode. I love kids, but I am not going back to the baby phase. I love that my kids can carry on conversations with me and are a blast to hang out with now. So do I find that hot soccer mom who is in a similar situation as me? Sure, but then you are talking double the scheduling issues and time commitments. Double the ex-drama. Double the complications.

There are so many things stacked against successful relationships these days. Even more for the divorced dad of 2. Its tough to not get pessimistic, but I remain optomistic. She is out there somewhere. I hope. ;)

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Tyrant! Pt. 2

Again last night I had to sit down with my son. Again, we had to have a talk and this time it involved punishment. I was calm and didn't yell. It was a simple cause and effect thing. He knew the consequences if he decided he was going to play on the computer or the 360 before he homework and chores were done. I know he knew, because we had this conversation.. in detail.. just a couple weeks ago. /sigh

The rule is simple. He gets home form school and has about 90 minutes before I get home from work. All I ask is that he does his chores (less that 5 min worth of work a day) and do his homework. Most days he has little or no homework, which in itself is a point of irritation for me, but is another post entirely. That means out of his afternoon, he needs 5 minutes to accomplish his chores. Oh.. and by chores.. I mean chore. He has one. Most days it probably takes less than 2 minutes to do. 5 minutes would be on the high side.

So after giving him the news of his punishment.. he gets mopey and teary. I can't wait for this overly emotional phase to end! He is in his room upset, so we go have a talk.

Me: I see you are really upset. Why?

G: Because I can't play computer or xbox and I was really having fun playing WoW again with everyone.

Me: So who are you angry with right now?

G: You.

Me: Oh? Why are you angry with me?

G: Because you are the one that grounded me.

Me: Think about that for a minute. Last time we had this conversation I told you exactly what would happen if you chose to ignore what you were supposed to do and play instead. Remember?

G: Yes.

Me: So you made a choice both last night when you didn't do the dishes.. and again today after school when you chose to ignore them. You made the choice that you knew would result in your punishment for breaking the rules. Didn't you?

G: Yeah.

Me: So who is responsible for you being in this situation?

G: *sheepishly* me....


I tried to explain that the last thing I want to do when I come home from work is have to deal with that kind of stuff. I tried to explain that I don't WANT to punish them. The boys are 11 and 13 .. which means taking away all forms of digital entertainment means they are going to be moping around the house with their "I'm bored" attitude for the duration. Why on earth would I want to subject myself to that? Why? I am trying to raise responsible, respectful, well-behaved boys. That's why.

During our talk, I found out again that I am being too hard on him. From his perspective anyway. I am just going to resign myself that I am a tyrant. If me being a tyrant keeps them on track with everything, then so be it. It's all about viewpoints I suppose though as I don't really think I am putting all that much pressure on them. Maybe I am though. Who knows. I am winging this whole parenting thing! ;)

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Setting the Bar

Being on vacation for 5 days leading up to and then traveling on the day of the inauguration, I missed it other than the flight attendant saying "Just for your information, we now have a new president" as we sat on the tarmac in Charlotte waiting for out turn to be de-iced.

I honestly feel bad for Obama at this point. Not only does he face all the normal pressure a president has to deal with, he has all this added expectation from being the first black president. Then on top of that, he is being thrown into the situation our country is currently in. Let's be honest here. Any president taking over right now would have their work cut out for them. There is no easy answer. No quick fix.

Regardless of who you voted for or how your politics line up or how much you hated Bush, Obama is not going to suddenly make everything better. Yes it's a historic moment. I get it. The first black president.. blah blah blah. Does the color of his skin make him better at fixing the economy? Does it make his stance on health care or social security any better than if he was white? Congrats America, we have proven we are tolerant and not quite as racist as we were a couple of decades ago. So what?

You could parade a guy with an extra ear in the middle of his forhead up there dressed in a clown costume and he could still be a good president if he knew what he was doing. Stop focusing on appearances and skin color and focus on what they are saying and their actions. Bush was rediculous looking and made me laugh when he talked. That didn't make him a bad president. His actions and choices are what made him a good or bad president (depending on your opinion).

I hope that Obama knows what he is doing. I hope that this country has a good leader that can live up to even half of the rediculous expectations that are being put on him now. The bar has been set so high for him. Every president faces these high expectations that he can't possibly achieve, but because of the mess this country is right now and the fact that he is the first black president Obama is going to need his own personal jet pack to get over that bar.

I wish Obama the best of luck. I hope he can be the president this country needs right now and that people can let the rest of the circus go. Isn't the point in this day and age that we shouldn't care what color his skin is? So why is the media STILL so focused on it. Yes.. we got it. Its monumental and historic and ground breaking and all that. Bullshit. What will be monumental is if he can take the reigns and get this country headed back in the right direction. What I want to see is Obama remembered as a president that made a great positive impact on troubled nation. I want to see him remembered for his decisions, the changes he made and how he brought this country back from the brink. I want to see a history book 20 years from now that has pages and pages about how he did an amazing job as president.. and then a tiny little asterick and a footnote somewhere that says "Oh.. and he was the first black president as well, we almost forgot to mention that."

Unless I missed something, Obama is not Jesus, so I think everyone should stop expecting him to walk on water. I honestly hope he can make a positive impact on this country, but it won't happen overnight. Things are not all puppies and rainbows just because Bush is out of there and we have a black democrat as president. I wish Obama the best of luck dealing with all he has to. Its going to take a strong man with a thick hide to make it through what he is going to have to deal with.

If he wants to hit the ground running and make a good impression on me, he should invade France. By himself. Armed only with a shovel. Im pretty sure he could take France like that. How cool would it be to turn on CNN and see Obama running around smacking French mimes in the face with a shovel? Hell, you could sell that on Pay-per-view to other countries and maybe make up some of our trade deficit. Why is it that whenever I think of the French I think of mimes anyway?

Edit: Apparently I am not the only one that likes the idea of Obama beating down a french mime with a shovel. This picture she made for me cracks me the hell up so I had to share.

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Transition

As I wandered the various Disney theme parks with my family, it made me smile watching my nephew Caden and my cousin's daughter Emily and their wonder and excitement at all there was to see. The way their faces lit up when they saw a Disney character. The apprehension and tentativeness as they wander up to a 6 foot tall Rafiki for a picture. The little ones are fun to just watch as they experience all the sights and sounds and larger than life fantasies.

My nephew rode with me on this boat tour talking about the land. It wound through a tunnel section with videos and displays before taking us on a tour of this huge greenhouse facility they have where they are doing cutting edge farming techniques for desert growing etc. He went from excited to be on the boat..to clinging to me scared to be in the dark tunnel with some of the displays..to back to pointing excitedly at huge pumpkins and such growing in the greenhouse. He handled Pirates of the Carribean well surprisingly.

My boys were a different story. They are definitely in a transition stage. Not quite sure if they want to be silly and kid-like, or if they want to be more 'grown-up'. Some of the things that even just a few years ago would have had them interested and excited was now more of a 'whatever' kind of thing. It was funny to see them switch back and forth between the two phases. One minute B wants a big foam filled Goofy hat .. and the next he is bored because we are waiting on the big mid-day parade which seems to be oriented to little kids.

So there we are at the parade. It stops for a while on a section of street before where we were waiting and does a few songs and dance routines for the crowds over there. So we are waiting patiently .. and B tells me that he is bored and wishes we were on a ride or something. I, wanting to do my fatherly duty, imparted the great wisdom that is passed from father to son for all the ages to him. The conversation went something like this:

B: Im bored. Why can't we go on a ride or something.

Me: Well most of our group wants to watch the parade. So we are going to hang out here with them. If you are bored, you need to figure out a way to enjoy it even though its not really what you would choose to be doing.

B: Well the floats are all Toy Story and Bug's Life and stuff. Its for little kids.

Me: True enough, but look over there. Is that girl in the little plaid skirt and tight top dancing and jumping on the trampoline not nice to look at even if she is dancing to the Toy Story theme?

B: Wha? Where? Oh! I see her. I can watch this for a while I guess.


And there it was again.. that look of wonder and excitement. The same as I saw on my nephew's face. Only a bit different in what was being referenced... hehe. My son is definitely at that age.. that transition. There are moments he wants to be that little kid still and others where he wants to make it very clear he is NOT that little kid any more.

Of course we all still have those moments where we act like a little kid. My younger son was trash talking me about beating my score on the Toy Story 3D ride/game. I of course got totally into it, annihilated him with child-like glee and then gave him crap about losing afterwards for all his trash talking! Hey.. its tough love. They have to earn victory!

There was certainly plenty to look at while we were in Disney as there was a national collegiate cheerleading and dance competition going on at the Disney Hollywood studios that weekend and the girls were all wandering the parks the whole time we were there. B said his neck was sore after the 3rd day in the parks. He said it was from riding Space Mountain and the whipping back and forth, but I have my own theory that it has more to do with the whiplash effect of following the hot girls as they walked by.

All in all, despite the joys of airline travel in the winter, it was a fabulous trip. We had a wonderful time with my family down there and had great weather for 3 fun days in the different Disney parks. It was a whirlwind adventure but I'm glad we were able to all come together for the trip. It was a wonderful xmas gift from my parents!

Now, back to work. Fun stuff or something.

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-23 and bathroom icicles

On my way to work this morning the little temperature readout on my console said the outside air temp was -23. That is by far the lowest I have ever seen. Fortunately I was in my warm car with a big thermos of coffee. I knew however that I would have to leave the car to walk into work and that the -23 didn't include wind chills. It would be a brisk walk this morning.

I made is safely indoors, although breathing the air when I first got out of the car felt much like I imagine getting kicked in the chest by a mule probably feels like. There is really just no prepping yourself for that.

After all the coffee I drank on the way in, nature called. I answered and headed for the restroom. I walked inside and.. wtf.. are they pulling air directly from outside into the bathroom? I kid you not, it couldn't have been over 50 in there. I started wondering if I was going to find icicles anywhere.. or if people were having to chip through the ice to take a leak.

All I know is that the women's restroom is on the other side of the wall.. and most likely shares the same ventilation system. I was quite glad at that moment that I was a guy and can pee fast and do it standing up. I can't imagine dropping trou and putting my butt on that freezing cold seat!

Ahh the joys of winter. Thank goodness I am flying to Florida for a long weekend with the family at Disney tomorrow. Its supposed to be mid 60s and sunny. Only about 80 degrees warmer than here!

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